suggested he wanted to pick a fight.
“No, but according to you, I’m Mr. Star-roid, I’m a know-it-all, so that makes me an authority of sorts,” he whispered on a smirk.
Colin laughed lightly.
“Hey, if you find any more of those stamps in the trash, you know, the ones with the firecrackers on ‘em, let me know. Lydia’s mom collects ’em.”
“You act like my job is a goddamn consignment shop, a thrift store, a free-for-all, and I place special orders for nunchucks like you . It’s garbage, not Federal Express!”
“Bull, you know where the good stuff is!”
“People throw shit out, and that’s that. I can’t go back to the same house, knock on the damn door and say, ‘Hey, the other day you threw out some valuable stamps. That was rather stupid of ya but to make up for your incredible idiocy, can I have some more of ’em?’ Doesn’t work like that and besides, usually I don’t even know what houses the shit I find comes from.”
“I’m just sayin’ if you see anymore is all!” Colin threw up his hands in surrender.
“You probably lied and told her you bought them for her.” Sean’s eyes narrowed on his brother, feeling him out, trying to get the goods.
“…I did.”
They both went silent for a while, then burst out laughing together.
“Shhhhh!” their mother chastised. “Caterpillar! Why didn’t anyone say, caterpillar?!” She yelled at the television. “They got termite up there, fly, moth, and no caterpillar! I bet that’s the number one answer!”
“It’s wasp, Kathy! Or maybe bee. No one is afraid of a caterpillar, Jesus H. Christ!” Mahoney Sr. called out.
“That’s not the question!” she retorted angrily, her drink sloshing violently about in her hand from her rapid, jerky movements in the excitement of it all. “The question is about insects with wings!”
“Kathy, caterpillars don’t have wings, goddamn it!”
“When they turn into a butterfly they do! Wait, that’s it! It’s butterfly!” She waved a frantic finger at the screen. “No one said butterfly!” The woman jumped out of her seat, causing the light green plastic curlers in her head to frantically bounce around as they hung onto her dark tresses for dear life.
“So,” Colin leaned over to Sean and whispered, “Do you think there’s a game show hosts school, like a college people go to? I bet I could do it…take a few classes ’nd such.”
Sean fell back and took a good look at his brother. They resembled one another here and there, and in some ways, it was like looking into a damn mirror. They were often mistaken for fraternal twins, being about the same height of 6’2 and only one year apart, but he always corrected people by letting them know he was the brother that received all the brains and brawn, and well, Colin received the smart-ass gene—how unfortunate for him and the world he was unleashed upon.
“This is the type of shit you sit around thinkin’ about, huh? How did you become a fireman, Colin? The world should be afraid, very afraid, that you’re out on the streets!”
Colin reared back and punched him in the shoulder, setting off another avalanche of more playful warfare.
“Ma! Help!” his brother cried out in faux angst. Their mother didn’t budge, nor look in their general direction.
“He’s overpowerin’ me!” the guy squealed, trying to elicit sympathy as they rolled about in pretend mortal combat. “See! He’s on those damn star-roids, Ma! I told ya sooooo!”
*
Treasure felt like recreating the scene from the movie, ‘Waiting to Exhale,’ Angela Basset style. She stood there in her coveted burgundy satin robe, the streetlights illuminating her spot just so as the trash in front of her home loomed before her like the ghost of Christmas past. Billy Joel’s, ‘Stiletto’ could be faintly heard coming from her house. She assumed Asia was playing it since she had gotten on some oldies kick. The unsightly mass rose high, big and bold like some
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