The Ex (The Corny Myers Series)
you’re right. Where will the seminar be held?” Probably her hotel room.
    “The class will be held in the FBI building, downtown. The class starts in two weeks, Monday through Friday. Come on, tell me your news,” Steve insisted.
    “I received a jury summons. I’ll be reporting to the Seattle Municipal Court first thing Tuesday morning. I guess they don’t care that I’m boinking a cop because I marked ‘yes’ on the questionnaire when they asked, ‘are you related or a close friend of any law enforcement officer?’”
    “They don’t care as long as the defendant isn’t a cop. There’s no reason to exclude you.”
    “Good. I’ve been called, and questioned, but never chosen.” I was torn—why did Steve’s ex have to show up now?
    Steve placed his coffee cup in the dishwasher and said, “See you tonight, honey.”
    “Yeah… okay. I’ll see you tonight.”
    “One more thing...you might want to keep your conversations with Pete to a minimum—especially if Celeste is around. I’m used to your conversations with animals, but not everyone would understand. I don’t want her to haul you off in a straitjacket,” he said.
    “Let her try.”
    “Bye, Corny.”
    He didn’t look happy when he left. Pete scurried over and sat next to my foot and I accidently stepped on his tail. In the process, I lost my balance and my shoulder slammed into the wall. “Owe. That hurt,” I said as I rubbed my arm.
    Hey, I think you flattened my tail, Pete chattered.
    “Geez! You scared me. See? That’s what you get for sneaking around.”
    Why are you in a nasty mood?
    “I’m not. How’s your tail?”
    If you throw me a Scooby snack I’ll heal faster.
    “Here you go.” Scooby snacks are a different flavor than his regular food. He thinks they’re extra special— he doesn’t need to know any different.
    What’s the deal with this Celeste person?
    “Steve’s old girlfriend is trying to worm her way back into his life.” If she wasn’t careful I’d rip every perfect blonde hair out of her head.
    Hey, remember how much fun we had with Ralph at Langfield Laboratories? If Steve brings me into class with him, I could put tacks on her chair.
    “No! I have a feeling Celeste would eat you alive. You will absolutely have no contact with her. Understood?”
    Cross my heart and hope to get a girlfriend.
    “You’ve got to be kidding me. You want a girlfriend?”
    I’m just saying; it’d be nice…

CHAPTER TWO

    Ratatata, Ratatata . Our new Maytag top-load washer was in the middle of the spin cycle. My legs were wrapped tight around Steve’s waist as he kept time with the washer. I nipped his neck as his hands moved from my shoulders to my bare legs. He lifted me slightly and slid deeper.
    “Corny, this was a great idea,” he spoke in a ragged whisper as he took my earlobe between his teeth and gently sucked.
    “I know. I know. This feels incredible. The only problem is, I can sense Pete’s beady eyes on my jiggling breasts and he’s distracting me from nirvana.” The spin cycle would eventually toss us both into the abyss of ecstasy, if I could resist the urge to look around for my perverted ferret. I’ve tried everything to keep Pete from spying on us while we performed the washing machine mambo. I’ve locked him in his cage, bathroom, and even the pantry, but he was like Houdini, the escape artist. I adopted Pete last year when my cousin Kari dropped him on my doorstep, on her way to Hawaii for her honeymoon. She never bothered to pick him back up. Except for his voyeurism, he was a great pal.
    “Steve, hand me that dirty sock.” He didn’t miss a beat, and handed me the sock. I launched the stinky thing through the doorway.
    Hiss, Hiss… Hey, what was that for? Pete sounded outraged.
    I ignored my ferret and stroked Steve’s sweat-soaked back. “Oh boy. Faster, Steve.” He continued to watch us.
    “Pete, go away if you know what’s good for you,” I said between moans.
    Fine. He scurried away

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