Read Online The Education of Sebastian by Jane Harvey-Berrick - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jane Harvey-Berrick
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scaring me.”
I took a deep breath and turned to glare at him, needing to take my sudden panic and anger out on him.
“The matter, Sebastian, is that you’re a minor. What we’ve just done… what I’ve just done… it’s against the law. It’s a felony, for God’s sake!”
“But I love you.”
I wanted to scream.
“Sebastian: it’s statutory rape! Do you know what that means? I could go to prison. If anyone found out…”
“I won’t tell anyone. I love…”
“Don’t say it! Do not say it!” I shouted the words and he flinched.
I ran to the bathroom, afraid I was going to be sick. I held my hand over my mouth as dry heaves raked me. Tears sprang to my eyes and I felt him hovering uncertainly behind me.
“Caroline, please.”
I held my hand out like a traffic cop, stopping him from coming any closer.
What had I done?
The words echoed emptily.
“Please!” His voice was begging, desperate, but I couldn’t look at him.
My skin felt icy-cold then hot with shame, as a torrent of emotion engulfed me. I staggered to the bathroom door, plucked my robe off the hook and wrapped it around me, as if the thin material could hide my crime.
I tried to push past him to the bedroom but he blocked my way.
“Oh, God, please, Caroline!” and he tried to pull me to him.
“No!”
I made it as far as the bed before my knees gave way and I sat down, gasping.
“What have I done? What have I done?”
I hid my head in my hands and tried to fight the rising panic.
I knew he was watching me but I couldn’t look. Silently, he sat down next to me.
“I’m not sorry,” he whispered. “That was the best experience of my whole life. I love you; I can’t help it.”
And he pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, taking care of me, soothing me.
Slowly the shock wore off, and finally I was able to sit up, pushing his arms away.
“I apologize, Sebastian. It isn’t your fault. Please forgive my… behavior.” I spoke coldly, formally, afraid to give way to further emotion. “I think you’d better leave now.”
“Please. Don’t send me away.”
His voice was husky.
When I didn’t reply, he stood up and walked into the bathroom, his eyes downcast, searching the floor for an answer that wasn’t there. I could hear the soft rustle of material and I knew he was getting dressed.
I hurried into the kitchen, needing activity to stop my hands from shaking. I cleared away a puddle of melting ice, and threw the antiseptic cream into the nearest drawer.
Then I leaned over the sink, trying to force some coherent thought into my befuddled brain. I heard his quiet footsteps on the linoleum and, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I turned to face him.
The expression on his face shocked me: he looked so broken.
“Oh, Sebastian!”
And I started to cry.
Half a heartbeat later I was in his arms, my cheek against his chest, and he was stroking my hair.
“Don’t be sad, Caroline, I love you. It’ll be okay.”
I was crying and laughing and crying. How ridiculous. Of course it wasn’t going to be okay. How ridiculously happy and terrified and happy I felt.
I lifted my head, aware that I was red-eyed and hideous.
He wiped my tears with his thumbs.
I thought he was going to speak, but then we heard the sound of a car outside.
“David!”
Panic lanced through me.
“You have to go! Quickly! Out through the back yard. Go!”
He turned to run to the door, then skidded to a halt. “When will I see you again?”
“I don’t know! Go! Go!”
“Promise I’ll see you again! Promise me!”
“Okay, I promise!” I said desperately, staring aghast at the front door.
He pulled me to him, kissing me fiercely. And then he was gone.
Trying to breathe naturally, I ran to the bedroom, straightening the sheets, plumping up the pillows where Sebastian had been lying just a few minutes before. There was no time to change the sheets and I felt faintly appalled by the thought of David
I took a deep breath and turned to glare at him, needing to take my sudden panic and anger out on him.
“The matter, Sebastian, is that you’re a minor. What we’ve just done… what I’ve just done… it’s against the law. It’s a felony, for God’s sake!”
“But I love you.”
I wanted to scream.
“Sebastian: it’s statutory rape! Do you know what that means? I could go to prison. If anyone found out…”
“I won’t tell anyone. I love…”
“Don’t say it! Do not say it!” I shouted the words and he flinched.
I ran to the bathroom, afraid I was going to be sick. I held my hand over my mouth as dry heaves raked me. Tears sprang to my eyes and I felt him hovering uncertainly behind me.
“Caroline, please.”
I held my hand out like a traffic cop, stopping him from coming any closer.
What had I done?
The words echoed emptily.
“Please!” His voice was begging, desperate, but I couldn’t look at him.
My skin felt icy-cold then hot with shame, as a torrent of emotion engulfed me. I staggered to the bathroom door, plucked my robe off the hook and wrapped it around me, as if the thin material could hide my crime.
I tried to push past him to the bedroom but he blocked my way.
“Oh, God, please, Caroline!” and he tried to pull me to him.
“No!”
I made it as far as the bed before my knees gave way and I sat down, gasping.
“What have I done? What have I done?”
I hid my head in my hands and tried to fight the rising panic.
I knew he was watching me but I couldn’t look. Silently, he sat down next to me.
“I’m not sorry,” he whispered. “That was the best experience of my whole life. I love you; I can’t help it.”
And he pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, taking care of me, soothing me.
Slowly the shock wore off, and finally I was able to sit up, pushing his arms away.
“I apologize, Sebastian. It isn’t your fault. Please forgive my… behavior.” I spoke coldly, formally, afraid to give way to further emotion. “I think you’d better leave now.”
“Please. Don’t send me away.”
His voice was husky.
When I didn’t reply, he stood up and walked into the bathroom, his eyes downcast, searching the floor for an answer that wasn’t there. I could hear the soft rustle of material and I knew he was getting dressed.
I hurried into the kitchen, needing activity to stop my hands from shaking. I cleared away a puddle of melting ice, and threw the antiseptic cream into the nearest drawer.
Then I leaned over the sink, trying to force some coherent thought into my befuddled brain. I heard his quiet footsteps on the linoleum and, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I turned to face him.
The expression on his face shocked me: he looked so broken.
“Oh, Sebastian!”
And I started to cry.
Half a heartbeat later I was in his arms, my cheek against his chest, and he was stroking my hair.
“Don’t be sad, Caroline, I love you. It’ll be okay.”
I was crying and laughing and crying. How ridiculous. Of course it wasn’t going to be okay. How ridiculously happy and terrified and happy I felt.
I lifted my head, aware that I was red-eyed and hideous.
He wiped my tears with his thumbs.
I thought he was going to speak, but then we heard the sound of a car outside.
“David!”
Panic lanced through me.
“You have to go! Quickly! Out through the back yard. Go!”
He turned to run to the door, then skidded to a halt. “When will I see you again?”
“I don’t know! Go! Go!”
“Promise I’ll see you again! Promise me!”
“Okay, I promise!” I said desperately, staring aghast at the front door.
He pulled me to him, kissing me fiercely. And then he was gone.
Trying to breathe naturally, I ran to the bedroom, straightening the sheets, plumping up the pillows where Sebastian had been lying just a few minutes before. There was no time to change the sheets and I felt faintly appalled by the thought of David
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