Read Online The Dress by Kate Kerrigan - Free Book Online Page A

passed into the second year of their marriage, Joy could see her husband’s sadness building. She watched him nod politely as other men talked about their sons at business dinners, excusing himself when they asked about his progeny.
    Joy always covered for him, saying, ‘Silly man married a much younger woman, and I am far too busy having fun with you lovely people.’ Joy charmed her way through every awkward moment, but they could feel the pressure building with each passing month.
    They went to see the Rogersons’ family doctor who said, ‘These things can’t be forced.’ He added, ‘Joy is a healthy young woman.’ Frank smarted at the inference and Joy saw, for the first time, that Frank believed this was his fault, his failing.
    That night she initiated their lovemaking and afterwards lay across his chest and assured him she would get pregnant. This was her fault. There were things a woman could do, she said. It was all to do with timing. She would eat more, exercise less. She would look into drugs – there were drugs for everything these days. A woman’s body was complex but she would sort things out. Soon, they would be a family.
    Frank cheered up as she reassured him and they opened some good wine to celebrate their optimism. Frank got quite drunk and once they had drained the second bottle they started fantasizing about the children they were going to have. Frank had it all worked out. Molly and Jack Fitzpatrick. A pretty girl in a ballerina dress and a scruffy boy who he would teach to play Irish hurling. They would buy a house upstate and Joy could fill it with as many servants and as much fancy furniture as she liked, as long as there was one big bed where the children could come and jump them awake on a Sunday morning before church.
    â€˜Church?’ Joy cried.
    â€˜Of course,’ Frank said. ‘When we have kids we’ll be quite the respectable family!’
    Joy laughed, but she didn’t know what to say. She was taken aback.
    After he had talked out his dream, Frank fell into a deep, drunken sleep and Joy walked across to the bedroom window. She looked out at the city sky and wondered if Frank loved the idea of a family more than he loved her.
    The thought that might be true made her feel empty inside; it was a cold, lonely feeling. As if there was a yawning black hole inside her that needed to be filled.
    Then the anxiety came. Suppose she couldn’t make good on her promise to give him a child. Would Frank leave her? Did he love her at all?
    Unable to curb these dark thoughts, Joy went downstairs to the mirrored bar and poured herself a double scotch, just to help her sleep. Then she crawled in next to her husband’s strong, warm body and told herself that tomorrow was the day when everything would be perfect in her world again.

7
    New York, 1956
    â€˜You will be nice to Minnie, won’t you darling?’
    It was a Saturday morning and the Fitzpatricks were entertaining that afternoon. Frank had asked his wife to introduce Minnie and T. J. Yewdell, a rich but homey Texan couple, into their New York social scene. Frank had done business with Ted, liked him, and was keen to help the couple settle in New York. Joy had arranged an intimate afternoon drinks gathering, there, at the apartment. Canapés and cocktails. She would even do the hostess thing and mix some of the drinks herself.
    â€˜I am always nice to our guests, Frank.’
    Joy was in bed with a breakfast tray on her lap tucking into her English tea and toast, her only proper meal of the day. Frank was sitting up, enjoying the novelty of watching her eat.
    â€˜Yes, but sometimes you can be a bit snobbish...’
    â€˜Only if people are vile.’
    â€˜Well, Minnie and Ted are not vile. They are very nice but they are from Texas so they don’t exactly fit your idea of...’
    â€˜Stylish?’
    â€˜Exactly.’
    She stuffed a piece of toast into her mouth.