Read Online The Devil Wears Scrubs by Freida McFadden - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Freida McFadden
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me that a patient was allergic to Lithium. I hadn’t ordered Lithium on this patient so I have no idea why this warranted an urgent 5 a.m. page, but I gave my verbal consent to add Lithium to the patient’s allergy list. At least, I think I did. I only vaguely remember it, as if it were some kind of dream.
While in the communal bathroom, I brainstorm what I can do to make myself feel more like a human being. I readjust my ponytail, which helps very slightly. There’s a travel-sized tube of toothpaste on the sink. I squeeze about half an inch of toothpaste onto my finger and start massaging my teeth. Funny how I feel more like I’m about to do the Walk of Shame after a sexy hook-up than finish my first shift as a doctor.
I quickly pre-round on my patients, which means I essentially look into their rooms to make sure they are still alive. Everyone is still alive. We ’ve all somehow survived my first shift as an intern. Apparently, people are harder to kill than I thought.
I arrive at Dr. Westin ’s small office, where we’re meeting to discuss our patients from the night before. Dr. Westin looks very chipper, especially compared to the three of us. He’s clean-shaven, and his shirt is so blindingly white that I have to avert my tired eyes. He beams when he sees me, which almost makes up for the way Alyssa glares at me and looks at her watch.
“ Did you have an exciting first night on call, Jess?” Dr. Westin asks me.
Apparently, I ’m Jess now.
“ Yes,” I mumble as I sink into a chair in front of his desk. If there weren’t a chair for me to sit in, I definitely would have cried. As is, I’m only barely keeping it together.
Connie, who apparently arrived an hour ago or something, has already reviewed her patients, so I ’m up next. I tell Dr. Westin about Mr. Petrovich and his maybe chest pain, an elderly lady named Mrs. Thompson who has a mild kidney infection but seems better now, and Mr. Swanson and his abscess.
“ What did Surgery say about the abscess?” Dr. Westin asks me.
I squirm. “I wasn’t able to reach the consult resident last night.”
Alyssa ’s eyes fly open. “Are you serious?”
“ I paged him twice,” I say lamely. And I realize that twice was not nearly enough. I should have been paging him every ten seconds all night long.
“ I’ll page him right now,” I promise.
Alyssa just shakes her head. “You need to speak with him before you leave.”
It ’s official. I will be spending the rest of my life in this hospital on this call.
After we pop in on my patients and Alyssa give s me a mile-long list of things to do, I slink away as quickly as I can. When I finish my to-do list, I can leave. Yet I don’t know how I can possibly get through this nearly infinite list. I feel like Cinderella, when she was given that huge list of chores before the ball. I will never get to the ball at this rate.
The first thing I do is find a quiet spot on one of the wards and page Dr. Reilly again. After ten minutes, it’s pretty clear he’s not going to call me back. This asshole is wrecking my life right now.
And that ’s when I lose it.
I call Dr. Reilly ’s pager number again, but this time instead of leaving a callback number, I leave a voice message. “Dr. Reilly,” I say. “This is Dr. McGill with Medicine. I have been calling you the entire night to talk to you about a patient who has an abscess and is extremely ill, and you have not had the courtesy to call me back. Apparently, you have absolutely no concern for patient welfare. I want you to know that I am going to report this behavior to your attending. If anything happens to this patient because you were unwilling to do your job, I intend for you to be found personally liable. Thank you very much.” And then I hang up.
Holy crap. I didn’t really say all that, did I?
Yet there was something cathartic about it. It felt good taking out my frustrations on another person. No wonder Sexy Surgeon enjoys it so
While in the communal bathroom, I brainstorm what I can do to make myself feel more like a human being. I readjust my ponytail, which helps very slightly. There’s a travel-sized tube of toothpaste on the sink. I squeeze about half an inch of toothpaste onto my finger and start massaging my teeth. Funny how I feel more like I’m about to do the Walk of Shame after a sexy hook-up than finish my first shift as a doctor.
I quickly pre-round on my patients, which means I essentially look into their rooms to make sure they are still alive. Everyone is still alive. We ’ve all somehow survived my first shift as an intern. Apparently, people are harder to kill than I thought.
I arrive at Dr. Westin ’s small office, where we’re meeting to discuss our patients from the night before. Dr. Westin looks very chipper, especially compared to the three of us. He’s clean-shaven, and his shirt is so blindingly white that I have to avert my tired eyes. He beams when he sees me, which almost makes up for the way Alyssa glares at me and looks at her watch.
“ Did you have an exciting first night on call, Jess?” Dr. Westin asks me.
Apparently, I ’m Jess now.
“ Yes,” I mumble as I sink into a chair in front of his desk. If there weren’t a chair for me to sit in, I definitely would have cried. As is, I’m only barely keeping it together.
Connie, who apparently arrived an hour ago or something, has already reviewed her patients, so I ’m up next. I tell Dr. Westin about Mr. Petrovich and his maybe chest pain, an elderly lady named Mrs. Thompson who has a mild kidney infection but seems better now, and Mr. Swanson and his abscess.
“ What did Surgery say about the abscess?” Dr. Westin asks me.
I squirm. “I wasn’t able to reach the consult resident last night.”
Alyssa ’s eyes fly open. “Are you serious?”
“ I paged him twice,” I say lamely. And I realize that twice was not nearly enough. I should have been paging him every ten seconds all night long.
“ I’ll page him right now,” I promise.
Alyssa just shakes her head. “You need to speak with him before you leave.”
It ’s official. I will be spending the rest of my life in this hospital on this call.
After we pop in on my patients and Alyssa give s me a mile-long list of things to do, I slink away as quickly as I can. When I finish my to-do list, I can leave. Yet I don’t know how I can possibly get through this nearly infinite list. I feel like Cinderella, when she was given that huge list of chores before the ball. I will never get to the ball at this rate.
The first thing I do is find a quiet spot on one of the wards and page Dr. Reilly again. After ten minutes, it’s pretty clear he’s not going to call me back. This asshole is wrecking my life right now.
And that ’s when I lose it.
I call Dr. Reilly ’s pager number again, but this time instead of leaving a callback number, I leave a voice message. “Dr. Reilly,” I say. “This is Dr. McGill with Medicine. I have been calling you the entire night to talk to you about a patient who has an abscess and is extremely ill, and you have not had the courtesy to call me back. Apparently, you have absolutely no concern for patient welfare. I want you to know that I am going to report this behavior to your attending. If anything happens to this patient because you were unwilling to do your job, I intend for you to be found personally liable. Thank you very much.” And then I hang up.
Holy crap. I didn’t really say all that, did I?
Yet there was something cathartic about it. It felt good taking out my frustrations on another person. No wonder Sexy Surgeon enjoys it so
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