Read Online The Devil and Danielle Webster by Cynthia Cross - Free Book Online Page B

Doug said helpfully. 
    “Then my point’s that much stronger.  If you promise a
night of passion and date it 2015, you don’t serve up reheated 20-year-old
leftovers!”
    “Hey, wait a minute!” Doug protested.  “What are you
calling reheated leftovers?  That was darn good sex, and I take offense at your choice of words!”
    “Reheated,” I said again, flatly.  “Leftovers.”
    “You two sound like brother and sister squabbling,” said the
Devil in a reproving tone, but he was interrupted by the sounds of “ ewwww ” made by both of us. 
    “Can he get any more offensive?” I asked Doug.  “Now
he’s talking incest.”
    “That’s gross!” Doug agreed.
    I could almost hear the gears in Daemon Lucifer’s brain
whirring.  He probably was beginning to see that the missteps he’d made
for his own spiteful pleasure could result in the escape of two tasty
souls.  His sudden conciliatory attitude was such a 180 degree turn that I
wanted to laugh.  “No worries,” he soothed.  “I have all eternity. 
I will make sure you are both satisfied customers.”  He looked at us
doubtfully.  “ Er , I believe I’ve noticed that
you both rather like one another—no, let me finish,” he insisted as we both
started laughing.  “We can stay here while your feelings for each other
redevelop, all off the time grid, you understand.  Then—“
    “Um, no,” I said.
    “Ditto,” said Doug, never wanting to be outdone.  “You
can keep us here a million years, I’m telling you
right now, I will never redevelop feelings for her, not even if you paid
me.  That is over and done with.”
    “What about this,” the Devil said hurriedly.  I could
tell he was trying not to lose the deal completely.  “I have never done
this before—you two would be my first.  I’ll put you both in your
20-year-old bodies tonight for just one night—off the time grid, you
understand—and you can have a night of passion as of today, but with your
younger selves.”  I had to laugh, he looked almost pleading.
    “See her?” Doug asked the Devil rhetorically.  “She’s a
resentful bitch who hangs onto grudges for life and no man could get it up with
her if he tried.”
    “Oh, now that’s grown up, Doug,” I mocked.
    “Tell the truth, Danielle.  When’s the last time you
had any?  Was it Brian Panties-In-A-Bunch?  What was that, years
ago?”
    “It’s none of your business, but no, it’s been more recent
than that.  Why don’t you go to hell?”
    “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”
    “You never did give me any satisfaction, you asshole.”  God, that felt good to say.
    “That’s it, this relationship is over,” Doug declared, and
walked out of the room.
    I ran and locked the door.  “Wait for it,” I said to
the Devil.
    Within half a minute, there was a scrabbling at the door,
followed by several fist pounds. 
    “Let me in!  Danielle!  Mr. Lucifer!” 
    I opened the door sweetly.
    Doug wouldn’t look at me.  “I want to get back to
Schaumburg.  How do I get back to Schaumburg?” he asked the Devil.
    “You can’t.”
    “What?”
    “You don’t get it.  You’re off the time grid. 
You’re off the grid until you and Danielle can get it right.  I guarantee
satisfaction, but I’m leaving it up to you how that plays out.  You have all the time you need.  You can let me know when
you’re satisfied.”
    “That makes no sense!” I said, outraged.  “We can’t
even stand being in the same room!”
    “Hey, I saw Groundhog Day,” Doug added.  “Bill Murray
stayed in the same day for years.”
    “This is worse,” I told Doug.  “We seem to have just a
few hours, then we keep reverting back to 2 AM, when
everyone’s asleep.”  I appealed directly to the Devil again.  “This
won’t work.  We will just hate each other more.”
    “Like I said, time is not an issue,” the Devil assured
me.  “We can take eons if we need it.  It’s all off the time