Read Online The Demon Headmaster and The Prime Minister’s Brain by Gillian Cross - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Gillian Cross
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filled the screen, she slid into a daze, watching them loop and arch and intertwine and …
Octopus -s-s-s-s!
The next thing she was aware of was the lift doors opening. The Brains blinked as the octopus patterns disappeared and light filled the lift. Then they started to push their way out, looking like any other crowd of hungry children.
They were in a vast, windowless canteen, with long tables set out in line from end to end. Very neat, regular lines. Perfectly straight and evenly spaced. Strip lights glared down from above, filling the room with a harsh brightness, and everything was so clean and hard and shining that it was almost painful to look at.
As Dinah stepped out of the lift, she heard the mechanical voice of the S-700.
‘Collect Your Cutlery From The Clean Cutlery Dispenser And Then Sit At A Table.’
The message was repeated every ten seconds or so as they all lined up in a neat queue in front of a slot in the wall labelled Clean Cutlery Dispenser. As soon as someone stood in front of it, a bundle appeared in the slot. A knife, a fork, and a spoon, wrapped in a paper napkin. The waiting person took the bundle, but the next bundle did not appear until the next person stepped forward.
Very hygienic, thought Dinah. No chance for the things to get dirty. But the efficiency of it made her even more miserable. It was just the sort of thing the Headmaster would think of.
She took her cutlery and sat down at a table with Robert, Camilla, and Bess. As she settled herself, she looked sideways at Bess. The little girl was pale and quiet and she had brought her teddy bear with her.
‘OK?’ Dinah said.
‘I think so.’ Bess gave her a small, shy smile. ‘It was marvellous hearing all about the S-700. I just hope I can learn everything in time.’
‘ You hope you can learn it. Goodness, what about me,’ said Camilla, ‘I’m the world’s worst learner it takes me ages doesn’t it Robert and—’
‘Hrmph!’ said Robert.
Dinah looked curiously at him. The two girls were nervous and excited, but they seemed quite pleased with their morning. Robert was different. His face was sharp and solemn and Dinah wondered what he was thinking. But before she could ask him anything the voice of the S-700 sounded again.
‘Please Remain Seated. Your Food Will Be Served To You.’
All the Brains were sitting down now, most of them busy trying to learn their notes. At the sound of the voice, they looked up, wondering who was coming to serve them. Would it be the men in white coats or would it be other people? More friendly people?
But no people appeared at all. Instead, the lift doors swished open and a line of little trucks ran out of the lift and along the floor beside the tables.
‘Oh look!’ Bess beamed all over her face. ‘Aren’t they sweet !’
It was a comic sight. The trucks were running alongside the tables, stopping at each occupied place. When they stopped, doors opened in their sides. Mechanical arms unfolded, lifted out plates and served hot food from inside the trucks. It was like being served by a procession of fat, square gnomes.
But, after a moment or two, some of the other Brains began to wail from the other end of the room.
‘But I don’t like carrots!’
‘I can’t eat milk pudding. It brings me out in a rash!’
‘I’m a vegetarian!’
The trucks, of course, took no notice. They simply went on serving out the same portions to everyone. Carrots, potatoes, and stew for the first course. Milk pudding and prunes for the second course. Each meal looked exactly the same and each meal was exactly the same size.
‘I’ll never eat all that ,’ muttered Bess, as she was served. ‘It’s enough to last me for a week.’
‘I’ll have what you don’t want please,’ Camilla said hastily. ‘I’d be glad to because otherwise I’ll starve to death and it’s not that I’m greedy only—’
All over the canteen, similar swaps were going on as people tried to make sure they got
Octopus -s-s-s-s!
The next thing she was aware of was the lift doors opening. The Brains blinked as the octopus patterns disappeared and light filled the lift. Then they started to push their way out, looking like any other crowd of hungry children.
They were in a vast, windowless canteen, with long tables set out in line from end to end. Very neat, regular lines. Perfectly straight and evenly spaced. Strip lights glared down from above, filling the room with a harsh brightness, and everything was so clean and hard and shining that it was almost painful to look at.
As Dinah stepped out of the lift, she heard the mechanical voice of the S-700.
‘Collect Your Cutlery From The Clean Cutlery Dispenser And Then Sit At A Table.’
The message was repeated every ten seconds or so as they all lined up in a neat queue in front of a slot in the wall labelled Clean Cutlery Dispenser. As soon as someone stood in front of it, a bundle appeared in the slot. A knife, a fork, and a spoon, wrapped in a paper napkin. The waiting person took the bundle, but the next bundle did not appear until the next person stepped forward.
Very hygienic, thought Dinah. No chance for the things to get dirty. But the efficiency of it made her even more miserable. It was just the sort of thing the Headmaster would think of.
She took her cutlery and sat down at a table with Robert, Camilla, and Bess. As she settled herself, she looked sideways at Bess. The little girl was pale and quiet and she had brought her teddy bear with her.
‘OK?’ Dinah said.
‘I think so.’ Bess gave her a small, shy smile. ‘It was marvellous hearing all about the S-700. I just hope I can learn everything in time.’
‘ You hope you can learn it. Goodness, what about me,’ said Camilla, ‘I’m the world’s worst learner it takes me ages doesn’t it Robert and—’
‘Hrmph!’ said Robert.
Dinah looked curiously at him. The two girls were nervous and excited, but they seemed quite pleased with their morning. Robert was different. His face was sharp and solemn and Dinah wondered what he was thinking. But before she could ask him anything the voice of the S-700 sounded again.
‘Please Remain Seated. Your Food Will Be Served To You.’
All the Brains were sitting down now, most of them busy trying to learn their notes. At the sound of the voice, they looked up, wondering who was coming to serve them. Would it be the men in white coats or would it be other people? More friendly people?
But no people appeared at all. Instead, the lift doors swished open and a line of little trucks ran out of the lift and along the floor beside the tables.
‘Oh look!’ Bess beamed all over her face. ‘Aren’t they sweet !’
It was a comic sight. The trucks were running alongside the tables, stopping at each occupied place. When they stopped, doors opened in their sides. Mechanical arms unfolded, lifted out plates and served hot food from inside the trucks. It was like being served by a procession of fat, square gnomes.
But, after a moment or two, some of the other Brains began to wail from the other end of the room.
‘But I don’t like carrots!’
‘I can’t eat milk pudding. It brings me out in a rash!’
‘I’m a vegetarian!’
The trucks, of course, took no notice. They simply went on serving out the same portions to everyone. Carrots, potatoes, and stew for the first course. Milk pudding and prunes for the second course. Each meal looked exactly the same and each meal was exactly the same size.
‘I’ll never eat all that ,’ muttered Bess, as she was served. ‘It’s enough to last me for a week.’
‘I’ll have what you don’t want please,’ Camilla said hastily. ‘I’d be glad to because otherwise I’ll starve to death and it’s not that I’m greedy only—’
All over the canteen, similar swaps were going on as people tried to make sure they got
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