Read Online The Dead Do Not Improve by Jay Caspian Kang - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jay Caspian Kang
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shook his head. “No. They’re not Christians. I don’t even know what the fuck to call them. They’re like communist Buddhist vegan assholes. Who all happen to be ex-hackers.”
“Ex-hackers?”
“And it begins again.… Yes. Ex-hackers. They all purified themselvesor some bullshit and now decry the Internet as some filthy black hole designed to suck people’s life away from them. So, like all good little
Star Wars–
bred rebels, they fuck up sites like us, dating sites, social networking, et cetera.”
“Huh.”
“At the beginning, they could hack in and mess with our shit, at least for a few hours, but they haven’t been able to get around our security for a few years now.”
“These hackers, do you know what they call themselves?”
“The Brownstone Knights.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah. Pretty fucking lame.”
“How do you know about all this?”
“They have a website.”
Hofspaur pulled out his phone, fiddled around with it, and pushed it in front of Finch’s nose. The website was ugly: all-black background, pine-green text, with two distorted photos of the storefront, a weather-beaten Victorian standing alone amid a lagoon of cement and chain-link fencing.
The green text read:
At the BEING ABUNDANCE CAFETERIA, we honor the abundance of the earth and ourselves, as we are one and the same. To that end, we do not believe in any separations, between animals and humans, between men and women, between races, religions, creeds, or class. Instead, we believe in BEING ABUNDANCE, a concept engineered by our founding couple, the indefatigable, bountiful Siobahn Menglehart and Jacky Stoddard. The core values of BEINGABUNDANCE encompass Love & Acceptance, Generosity, Worth, Gratitude and Creation or Responsibility. We believe the practice of BEING ABUNDANCE starts with what we put into our bodies. For tens of thousands of generations, humans have sanctified and ritualized both what and how we eat. We, at the BEING ABUNDANCE CAFETERIA, believe in the lessons of real history and therefore have created a space where San Franciscans can engage in the food act in a noncommercialized and noncompromised way. To achieve this purity, we gather our bounty from only organic, local growers, who, in turn, only use environmentally sustainable practices, as these are the best way we can truly honor the earth. We invite you to step inside and enjoy being someone that chooses: loving your life, adoring yourself, accepting the world, being generous and grateful every day, and experiencing being provided for. Have fun and enjoy being nourished!
Finch winced. He had never been able to stomach the combination of disorganized and optimistic things, especially to this extent. Turning to Hofspaur, he said, “How do you know the cyberpunks are affiliated with this?”
“Have you ever been to Being Abundance?”
“No.”
“Have you eaten lunch yet?”
THE WAITRESSES AT the Being Abundance Cafeteria were all beautiful and slouchy and bandanna-ed. An odd, reddish sheen radiated off each one’s cheeks. At first, Finch wrote it off as a trick of light, but as he looked around at the other customers cooped up in the long, narrowrailroad apartment of a seating area, he noticed that everyone else, including Hofspaur, who, back at the Porn Palace, had been pink as the bottom of an infant’s foot, looked a little gray. At a long blond wood bar near the front entrance, five men sat
Nighthawks
style, drinking down some green liquid.
There was something off about the men as well, nothing as noticeable as the waitresses, but similar to the unsettled sensation you get when you take money out of the ATM and the bills, which you rationally know are not counterfeit, nonetheless feel a bit too gritty in your fingers. After a quick up and down, Finch realized that the fabric of their shirts was a bit too airy and light. Despite the lack of open windows or doors, each of the men’s sleeves fluttered in some unseen wind.
Upon walking
“Ex-hackers?”
“And it begins again.… Yes. Ex-hackers. They all purified themselvesor some bullshit and now decry the Internet as some filthy black hole designed to suck people’s life away from them. So, like all good little
Star Wars–
bred rebels, they fuck up sites like us, dating sites, social networking, et cetera.”
“Huh.”
“At the beginning, they could hack in and mess with our shit, at least for a few hours, but they haven’t been able to get around our security for a few years now.”
“These hackers, do you know what they call themselves?”
“The Brownstone Knights.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah. Pretty fucking lame.”
“How do you know about all this?”
“They have a website.”
Hofspaur pulled out his phone, fiddled around with it, and pushed it in front of Finch’s nose. The website was ugly: all-black background, pine-green text, with two distorted photos of the storefront, a weather-beaten Victorian standing alone amid a lagoon of cement and chain-link fencing.
The green text read:
At the BEING ABUNDANCE CAFETERIA, we honor the abundance of the earth and ourselves, as we are one and the same. To that end, we do not believe in any separations, between animals and humans, between men and women, between races, religions, creeds, or class. Instead, we believe in BEING ABUNDANCE, a concept engineered by our founding couple, the indefatigable, bountiful Siobahn Menglehart and Jacky Stoddard. The core values of BEINGABUNDANCE encompass Love & Acceptance, Generosity, Worth, Gratitude and Creation or Responsibility. We believe the practice of BEING ABUNDANCE starts with what we put into our bodies. For tens of thousands of generations, humans have sanctified and ritualized both what and how we eat. We, at the BEING ABUNDANCE CAFETERIA, believe in the lessons of real history and therefore have created a space where San Franciscans can engage in the food act in a noncommercialized and noncompromised way. To achieve this purity, we gather our bounty from only organic, local growers, who, in turn, only use environmentally sustainable practices, as these are the best way we can truly honor the earth. We invite you to step inside and enjoy being someone that chooses: loving your life, adoring yourself, accepting the world, being generous and grateful every day, and experiencing being provided for. Have fun and enjoy being nourished!
Finch winced. He had never been able to stomach the combination of disorganized and optimistic things, especially to this extent. Turning to Hofspaur, he said, “How do you know the cyberpunks are affiliated with this?”
“Have you ever been to Being Abundance?”
“No.”
“Have you eaten lunch yet?”
THE WAITRESSES AT the Being Abundance Cafeteria were all beautiful and slouchy and bandanna-ed. An odd, reddish sheen radiated off each one’s cheeks. At first, Finch wrote it off as a trick of light, but as he looked around at the other customers cooped up in the long, narrowrailroad apartment of a seating area, he noticed that everyone else, including Hofspaur, who, back at the Porn Palace, had been pink as the bottom of an infant’s foot, looked a little gray. At a long blond wood bar near the front entrance, five men sat
Nighthawks
style, drinking down some green liquid.
There was something off about the men as well, nothing as noticeable as the waitresses, but similar to the unsettled sensation you get when you take money out of the ATM and the bills, which you rationally know are not counterfeit, nonetheless feel a bit too gritty in your fingers. After a quick up and down, Finch realized that the fabric of their shirts was a bit too airy and light. Despite the lack of open windows or doors, each of the men’s sleeves fluttered in some unseen wind.
Upon walking
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