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Authors: Beth Pattillo
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to offend you.”
I wanted to give my sister's trite apology the cold shoulder it deserved. But even more, I longed for some comfort, a little understanding, anything really that would assuage the hurt.
“Please, Ell. Let's talk.”
This time, I heard real regret in her voice. “Okay,” I said.
She led me to a table in the corner, and we sat down, but I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. Her dismissive attitude toward my pain still stung.
“What's going on?” Mimi laid her hands, palms down, on the dark, polished wood.
“It's not really about you,” I said.
“Then tell me what it is about.” She paused, and a look of horror crossed her face. “You’re not sick, are you?”
I didn't answer immediately, and her hands trembled.
“Ellen? Are you sick?”
“No. No, of course not.”
“Ellen, I’m sorry.”
“You don't have to apologize.”
She shook her head. “I don't mean about this.” She sighed. “We probably needed this. No, I mean that I’m sorry I wasn't more help at the end, the last six months with Mom.”
“You would have come if you could.” I didn't actually believe that, but we’d had enough drama for one day. Time to be magnanimous.
“No, I wouldn't have. I mean…I didn’t.” She paused. “It's just that…I was afraid.”
“So was I.” I grimaced. “I didn't mean that to sound judgmental. I just meant—”
“Maybe we’re more alike than we think,” Mimi said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re afraid to show your feelings to the man you love, and I’m afraid of what will happen if I can't hide mine.”
I ignored her reference to Daniel. “Mom would never have expected you to be unemotional.”
“No, but you would have, Ell. If I’d shown up on the doorstep crying my heart out, you would have seen me as another burden to bear.”
“I wouldn't have.” But I knew Mimi was right. If she had come home during those months, I wouldn't have wanted her to be her . I would have wanted her to be like me.
“You’re right,” I finally said. “I’m sorry.” And then it occurred to me that maybe I was just as much to blame for Mimi missing Mom's last few months as she was.
We were both quiet for a long moment.
“You really should give Daniel a chance,” Mimi said, breaking the silence.
“A chance to do what?”
“C’mon, Ell. He's practically been glued to your side since the welcome dinner.”
“Just because he's on his own, and I’m the only person he knows.” Of course, she didn't know that Mom had basically hired him to be glued to my side, as she put it.
“Not true. He knows me.”
“But you’ve been glued to Ethan, so you’re not really an option. Daniel's just an old friend.”
“I think he came on this trip because of you.”
I laughed. “I appreciate your faith in my middle-aged charms.”
“You’re not middle-aged,” Mimi said.
“You only say that because we’re so close in age. You don't want to be implicated.”
Mimi giggled, a soft, melodic sound that could charm even a cranky older sister.
We sat beside a large bed of roses, and their heady perfume filled the air. In an English garden, it was hard to believe that bad things existed in the world. That all the problems in my life existed. If only I could have stayed there forever.
But we couldn’t, of course. At that moment, Tom appeared around the gate.
“There you are. We’d better get going.”
We followed him to the parking lot and climbed into the waiting taxi, since the van was already full. As we pulled away from the pub, I wondered if the confrontation between Mimi and me would help or hurt our chances of agreeing on where to leave Mom, much less what we were going to do with Cassandra's diary.
At least we were speaking to each other honestly, if a little guardedly. That was some improvement.
CHAPTER EIGHT
B y the time we reached the Vyne, an enormous house that now belonged to the National Trust, I would have given my kingdom for a bucket
I wanted to give my sister's trite apology the cold shoulder it deserved. But even more, I longed for some comfort, a little understanding, anything really that would assuage the hurt.
“Please, Ell. Let's talk.”
This time, I heard real regret in her voice. “Okay,” I said.
She led me to a table in the corner, and we sat down, but I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. Her dismissive attitude toward my pain still stung.
“What's going on?” Mimi laid her hands, palms down, on the dark, polished wood.
“It's not really about you,” I said.
“Then tell me what it is about.” She paused, and a look of horror crossed her face. “You’re not sick, are you?”
I didn't answer immediately, and her hands trembled.
“Ellen? Are you sick?”
“No. No, of course not.”
“Ellen, I’m sorry.”
“You don't have to apologize.”
She shook her head. “I don't mean about this.” She sighed. “We probably needed this. No, I mean that I’m sorry I wasn't more help at the end, the last six months with Mom.”
“You would have come if you could.” I didn't actually believe that, but we’d had enough drama for one day. Time to be magnanimous.
“No, I wouldn't have. I mean…I didn’t.” She paused. “It's just that…I was afraid.”
“So was I.” I grimaced. “I didn't mean that to sound judgmental. I just meant—”
“Maybe we’re more alike than we think,” Mimi said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re afraid to show your feelings to the man you love, and I’m afraid of what will happen if I can't hide mine.”
I ignored her reference to Daniel. “Mom would never have expected you to be unemotional.”
“No, but you would have, Ell. If I’d shown up on the doorstep crying my heart out, you would have seen me as another burden to bear.”
“I wouldn't have.” But I knew Mimi was right. If she had come home during those months, I wouldn't have wanted her to be her . I would have wanted her to be like me.
“You’re right,” I finally said. “I’m sorry.” And then it occurred to me that maybe I was just as much to blame for Mimi missing Mom's last few months as she was.
We were both quiet for a long moment.
“You really should give Daniel a chance,” Mimi said, breaking the silence.
“A chance to do what?”
“C’mon, Ell. He's practically been glued to your side since the welcome dinner.”
“Just because he's on his own, and I’m the only person he knows.” Of course, she didn't know that Mom had basically hired him to be glued to my side, as she put it.
“Not true. He knows me.”
“But you’ve been glued to Ethan, so you’re not really an option. Daniel's just an old friend.”
“I think he came on this trip because of you.”
I laughed. “I appreciate your faith in my middle-aged charms.”
“You’re not middle-aged,” Mimi said.
“You only say that because we’re so close in age. You don't want to be implicated.”
Mimi giggled, a soft, melodic sound that could charm even a cranky older sister.
We sat beside a large bed of roses, and their heady perfume filled the air. In an English garden, it was hard to believe that bad things existed in the world. That all the problems in my life existed. If only I could have stayed there forever.
But we couldn’t, of course. At that moment, Tom appeared around the gate.
“There you are. We’d better get going.”
We followed him to the parking lot and climbed into the waiting taxi, since the van was already full. As we pulled away from the pub, I wondered if the confrontation between Mimi and me would help or hurt our chances of agreeing on where to leave Mom, much less what we were going to do with Cassandra's diary.
At least we were speaking to each other honestly, if a little guardedly. That was some improvement.
CHAPTER EIGHT
B y the time we reached the Vyne, an enormous house that now belonged to the National Trust, I would have given my kingdom for a bucket
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