Read Online The Dark Side of the Sun by Terry Pratchett - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Terry Pratchett
Tags: sf_fantasy
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hurt?'
The Servant hissed. 'The soil of the
buruku
has been disgraced.' Dom nodded. The
buruku
was covered to a depth of several inches with Phnobic soil, specially transported.
'We could replace it,' he said.
They haggled. Finally Dom concluded the conversation with a suitable expression of regard and said: 'It'll cost us several hundred thousand standards in haulage charges alone.'
'Can you authorize Board expenditure?'
'Board expenditure nothing. It'll come out of the Sabalos personal account.' He sat back, suddenly tired.
'There is another problem,' said Isaac from his seat. 'Like, where are we going? And how are we going to get there?'
'Hrsh?'
The phnobe pinched his nose. 'The First Sirian Bank would make a good starting point. According to legend he was created by the Jokers.'
'Oh. I hadn't heard that. And he's my Godfather.'
'Well, it issn't true. He iss at least three billion yearss old, ass far as he knows.'
Isaac whistled. There was something on the deep radar, drifting purposely towards the ship.
'It's a sundog, touting for business,' said Dom. 'There's our passage to Sirius.'
'Count me out!' shrieked the phnobe, 'I'm not travelling on one of thosse animalss! I thought this sship had an interspace matrix!'
'It had,' said Isaac calmly, 'It probably worked real good in Dom's great-great-grandfather's day but now the settings are all anyhow. Fancy ending up inside a star? Think of the loss to letters.'
'Very well then. But under sstrong protesst.'
Twenty minutes later a shadow eclipsed the stars. The sundog stopped a few hundred metres from the ship, a fat lozenge flashing like a beacon as it turned slowly in the sunlight.
Isaac peered into the scope.
'It has orange, purple and yellow markings, boss, with a black band across the yellow.'
Dom sighed with relief. Not all sundogs were friendly, or bright enough to realize what would follow if they forgot themselves and engulfed a small spaceship.
'That will be the one who calls itself Abramelin-lincoln-stroke-Enobarbous-stroke-50.3-Eno-barbous-McMirmidom,' he said. 'He's okay. He does haulage work for us.'
A thought stole unbidden into his head.
Hullo, spaceman. You wish to travel, maybe
?
'Please take us to the First Sirian Bank.'
Price for journey: seventeen standards.
The ship bucked slightly as the sundog reached out and enveloped it in a pseudofield. The giant semi-animal rotated slowly to face the actinic blue star, inasmuch as a sundog had a face.
'This is undignified,' moaned Hrsh-Hgn, 'Carried by a dog like so much freight.'
To be ready.
'Would you rather grandmother caught us, in her present mood?'
To be steady.
'Frssh!'
'Come on, now, face it like a cosmospolitan.'
Go.
An invisible hand wrenched See-Why out of the sky and hurled it at them. They were falling into the sun. Then they were falling around the sun. They skimmed over a blurred sea of blue-white fire that broke on the reefs of space, its roaring a dim thunder inside the pseudofield, towards a glowing horizon that had no curve.
And the star dopplered behind them. Sundog soared up into the interstellar dark, singing.
Silence filled the cabin.
'Wow,'
said
Dom.
'Urghss!'
Isaac peered at the matrix panel, and dimmed the ship lights. In the darkness there were only the stars ahead, and they began to flare blue.
'Prepare yourselves to become a relativistic impossibility...' sang
Isaac.
Illusion.
Dom knew about the things seen in interspace. The larger ships usually had screening around most of the hull, and perhaps an unscreened lounge for the incurably curious...
A white stag galloped through the cabin wall, which glowed under an orange light. It bore a gold crown between its horns. Dom sensed its fear, smelled the rankness, saw the sweat-matted hair on its flanks - but its hooves merged with the floor, and floor and skin merged and flowed continuously. It reared, and leapt through the autochef.
Dom saw the huntsman on his black horse when he
The Servant hissed. 'The soil of the
buruku
has been disgraced.' Dom nodded. The
buruku
was covered to a depth of several inches with Phnobic soil, specially transported.
'We could replace it,' he said.
They haggled. Finally Dom concluded the conversation with a suitable expression of regard and said: 'It'll cost us several hundred thousand standards in haulage charges alone.'
'Can you authorize Board expenditure?'
'Board expenditure nothing. It'll come out of the Sabalos personal account.' He sat back, suddenly tired.
'There is another problem,' said Isaac from his seat. 'Like, where are we going? And how are we going to get there?'
'Hrsh?'
The phnobe pinched his nose. 'The First Sirian Bank would make a good starting point. According to legend he was created by the Jokers.'
'Oh. I hadn't heard that. And he's my Godfather.'
'Well, it issn't true. He iss at least three billion yearss old, ass far as he knows.'
Isaac whistled. There was something on the deep radar, drifting purposely towards the ship.
'It's a sundog, touting for business,' said Dom. 'There's our passage to Sirius.'
'Count me out!' shrieked the phnobe, 'I'm not travelling on one of thosse animalss! I thought this sship had an interspace matrix!'
'It had,' said Isaac calmly, 'It probably worked real good in Dom's great-great-grandfather's day but now the settings are all anyhow. Fancy ending up inside a star? Think of the loss to letters.'
'Very well then. But under sstrong protesst.'
Twenty minutes later a shadow eclipsed the stars. The sundog stopped a few hundred metres from the ship, a fat lozenge flashing like a beacon as it turned slowly in the sunlight.
Isaac peered into the scope.
'It has orange, purple and yellow markings, boss, with a black band across the yellow.'
Dom sighed with relief. Not all sundogs were friendly, or bright enough to realize what would follow if they forgot themselves and engulfed a small spaceship.
'That will be the one who calls itself Abramelin-lincoln-stroke-Enobarbous-stroke-50.3-Eno-barbous-McMirmidom,' he said. 'He's okay. He does haulage work for us.'
A thought stole unbidden into his head.
Hullo, spaceman. You wish to travel, maybe
?
'Please take us to the First Sirian Bank.'
Price for journey: seventeen standards.
The ship bucked slightly as the sundog reached out and enveloped it in a pseudofield. The giant semi-animal rotated slowly to face the actinic blue star, inasmuch as a sundog had a face.
'This is undignified,' moaned Hrsh-Hgn, 'Carried by a dog like so much freight.'
To be ready.
'Would you rather grandmother caught us, in her present mood?'
To be steady.
'Frssh!'
'Come on, now, face it like a cosmospolitan.'
Go.
An invisible hand wrenched See-Why out of the sky and hurled it at them. They were falling into the sun. Then they were falling around the sun. They skimmed over a blurred sea of blue-white fire that broke on the reefs of space, its roaring a dim thunder inside the pseudofield, towards a glowing horizon that had no curve.
And the star dopplered behind them. Sundog soared up into the interstellar dark, singing.
Silence filled the cabin.
'Wow,'
said
Dom.
'Urghss!'
Isaac peered at the matrix panel, and dimmed the ship lights. In the darkness there were only the stars ahead, and they began to flare blue.
'Prepare yourselves to become a relativistic impossibility...' sang
Isaac.
Illusion.
Dom knew about the things seen in interspace. The larger ships usually had screening around most of the hull, and perhaps an unscreened lounge for the incurably curious...
A white stag galloped through the cabin wall, which glowed under an orange light. It bore a gold crown between its horns. Dom sensed its fear, smelled the rankness, saw the sweat-matted hair on its flanks - but its hooves merged with the floor, and floor and skin merged and flowed continuously. It reared, and leapt through the autochef.
Dom saw the huntsman on his black horse when he
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