The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

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Authors: William Shakespeare
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these
    two perjured kings fighting each other!
    Hear me, oh, hear me!
     
    AUSTRIA.
    Lady Constance, peace!
     
    Lady Constance, peace!
     
    CONSTANCE.
    War! war! no peace! Peace is to me a war.
    O Lymoges! O Austria! thou dost shame
    That bloody spoil. Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward!
    Thou little valiant, great in villainy!
    Thou ever strong upon the stronger side!
    Thou Fortune's champion that dost never fight
    But when her humorous ladyship is by
    To teach thee safety! Thou art perjur'd too,
    And sooth'st up greatness. What a fool art thou,
    A ramping fool, to brag and stamp and swear
    Upon my party! Thou cold-blooded slave,
    Hast thou not spoke like thunder on my side,
    Been sworn my soldier, bidding me depend
    Upon thy stars, thy fortune, and thy strength,
    And dost thou now fall over to my foes?
    Thou wear a lion's hide! Doff it for shame,
    And hang a calf's-skin on those recreant limbs.
     
    War! War! No peace! Peace is like a war to me.
    O Limoges! Oh Austria! You are shaming
    that bloody trophy. You slave, you wretch, you coward!
    You have little bravery, and great villainy!
    You always side with the strongest!
    You are the champion of Fortune, you never fight
    except when luck is on your side
    to make sure you are safe! You are also a perjurer,
    and you creep and crawl to great men. What a fool you are,
    a raging fool, to brag and stamp and swear
    at my party! You cold-blooded slave,
    haven't you spoken like thunder for my party,
    been sworn in as my soldier, telling me to trust
    in your luck, your stars and your strength,
    and now you are revolting against me with my enemies?
    You, wearing the lion's skin! Take it off out of shame,
    and put a calfskin on your cowardly limbs.
     
    AUSTRIA.
    O that a man should speak those words to me!
     
    I wish a man would say those things to me!
     
    BASTARD.
    And hang a calf's-skin on those recreant limbs.
     
    Put a calfskin on your cowardly limbs.
     
    AUSTRIA.
    Thou dar'st not say so, villain, for thy life.
     
    You wouldn't dare to say that, villain, it'll cost you your life.
     
    BASTARD.
    And hang a calf's-skin on those recreant limbs.
     
    And put a calfskin on your cowardly limbs.
     
    KING JOHN.
    We like not this: thou dost forget thyself.
     
    I don't like this: you are forgetting yourself.
     
    Enter PANDULPH
     
    KING PHILIP.
    Here comes the holy legate of the Pope.
     
    Here comes the holy representative of the Pope.
     
    PANDULPH.
    Hail, you anointed deputies of heaven!
    To thee, King John, my holy errand is.
    I Pandulph, of fair Milan cardinal,
    And from Pope Innocent the legate here,
    Do in his name religiously demand
    Why thou against the Church, our holy mother,
    So wilfully dost spurn; and force perforce
    Keep Stephen Langton, chosen Archbishop
    Of Canterbury, from that holy see?
    This, in our foresaid holy father's name,
    Pope Innocent, I do demand of thee.
     
    Greetings, you chosen representatives of heaven!
    My holy errand is to you, King John.
    I, Pandulph, cardinal of fair Milan,
    and the representative of Pope Innocent here,
    to religiously demand in his name to know
    why you are wilfully disobeying the orders of
    the church, our holy mother; why are you using force
    to keep Stephen Langton, chosen Archbishop
    of Canterbury, from his holy office?
    I ask you the question in the name of
    ouraforementioned holy father, Pope Innocent.
     
    KING JOHN.
    What earthly name to interrogatories
    Can task the free breath of a sacred king?
    Thou canst not, Cardinal, devise a name
    So slight, unworthy, and ridiculous,
    To charge me to an answer, as the Pope.
    Tell him this tale, and from the mouth of England
    Add thus much more, that no Italian priest
    Shall tithe or toll in our dominions;
    But as we under heaven are supreme head,
    So, under Him that great supremacy,
    Where we do reign we will alone uphold,
    Without th' assistance of a mortal hand.
    So tell the Pope, all reverence set apart
    To him and his usurp'd authority.
     
    What earthly man has a right to

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