Read Online The Colour of Milk by Nell Leyshon - Free Book Online Page A

what to talk about if she was well.
    she’s very pale.
    she would be. she hasn’t been outside for a decade.
    she’s short of breath.
    you’re beginning to sound like a doctor.
    i can tell she ain’t well.
    how are you making your diagnosis?
    i looked after animals all my life. i know when they ain’t well.
    have you told her you care for her in the same way you cared for the cows? perhaps i should tell her. she’d be very amused.
    no. don’t. you mustn’t.
    he laughed. i shall.
    don’t you dare. if you do that i’ll tell her you went down the farm to see violet.
    will you?
    yes.
    i don’t care if you do. it really doesn’t worry me. in fact, i make it my aim not to worry about anything. life can either be a chore or a joy. i choose the latter.
    do you?
    yes. he pointed at the table. hadn’t you better polish it?
    i threw the cloth at him and he caught it, his hand moving quick as an adder. why don’t you? i asked.
    he threw the cloth back. i told you, he said. no chores. all joy.
     
    mrs was asleep in the white room. i put a blanket on her legs and closed the window. i left the room and shut the door careful not to make a sound. ralph was up in his room and vicar was out. i looked in the kitchen but edna was asleep in her chair by the fire which she’d let go out on account of the heat outside. and i went up to the room under the eaves and took off my apron and dress and put back on my old dress from the farm what was in the drawer and i put on my old apron and i found my old boots and i put them on and i didn’t care for that they may leave crumbs of dry mud where i walked through the house. and i creeped down the stairs and out in to the lane. i went up the hill.
    from the top i could see down over the farmhouse and yard and could see the fields and the hay laying in rows waiting to be gathered in to ricks.
    the pig lay in the shade of the trees.
    the cows stood on the grass.
    i never planned what to do it was just when i saw it all i started walking down there.
    i had to.
    i walked right down the lane and in to the yard and they were milking there. and then i saw father. and then he saw me.
    what you doing? he asked.
    i come back, i said.
    who says you could come back?
    i say.
    he shook his head. i don’t reckon you could.
    i can’t stay there. i want to come home.
    you can’t.
    he took my arm and started pulling me out the yard. i cried out and all three of the sisters was on their stools and they looked up at me but no one did nothing. and mother came to the door of the scullery and she watched but she never done nothing.
    father dragged me back up the lane and past the houses and the church. he dragged me to the vicarage house.
    the back door was open and he saw edna in the kitchen lighting the fire.
    where’s mr graham?
    edna saw me. i’ll get him.
    we waited out the back door in the sun and father’s hand held my arm and he gripped me and it hurt.
    mr graham appeared. is there a problem?
    she came home but i told her she ain’t staying there. i told her she’s staying put here.
    mr graham nodded. mary? were you running away? i did let you go down this morning.
    i said nothing. father nudged me.
    aren’t you happy here? mr graham asked.
    i said nothing.
    she’s well looked after, aren’t you? she’s just a bit spirited. a bit strong-willed.
    a bit? father said.
    i’ll make sure, mr graham said, that she doesn’t do it again.
    you do that or i’ll come and sort her out.
    there won’t be a need for that. mr graham took my arm and pulled me away from father. come on, mary, he said, edna needs a hand.
    he pushed me in to the kitchen and i listened to the two men talking at the back door about how there wasn’t no rain for the crops and how the milk yield was down then father left and i heard the door close and mr graham came in the kitchen.
    mary? what on earth was all that about?
    i shrugged.
    bring me some tea through.
    so i made him tea and took it in to the wooden room. and i put it