Read Online The Collected Tales of Nikolai Gogol by Nikolái Gógol - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Nikolái Gógol
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smiling.“A nice trick I pulled on you, eh?And you probably wanted to eat me as pork?Wait, I’ve got good news for you: there’s something else in the sack—if not a boar, then surely a piglet or some other live thing.Something’s been moving under me all the time.”
The weaver and the chum rushed to the sack, the mistress of the house seized it from the other side, and the fight would have started again if the deacon, seeing there was nowhere to hide, hadn’t climbed out of the sack.
“Here’s another one!” the weaver exclaimed in fright.“Devil knows how this world … it makes your head spin … not sausages or biscuits, they throw people into sacks!”
“It’s the deacon!” said Choub, more astonished than anyone else.“Well, now!that’s Solokha for you!putting us into sacks … That’s why she’s got a house full of sacks … Now I see it all: she had two men sitting in each sack.And I thought I was the only one she … That’s Solokha for you!”
T HE GIRLS WERE a bit surprised to find one sack missing.“No help for it, this one will be enough for us,” Oksana prattled.They all took hold of the sack and heaved it onto the sled.
The headman decided to keep quiet, reasoning that if he shouted for them to untie the sack and let him out, the foolish girls would run away, thinking the devil was sitting in it, and he would be left out in the street maybe till the next day.
The girls, meanwhile, all took each other’s hands and flew like the wind, pulling the sled over the creaking snow.Many of them sat on the sled for fun; some got on the headman himself.The headman resolved to endure everything.They finally arrived, opened the doors to the house and the front hall wide, and with loud laughter dragged the sack inside.
“Let’s see what’s in it,” they all shouted and hastened to untie the sack.
Here the hiccups that had never ceased to torment the headman all the while he was sitting in the sack became so bad that he started hicking and coughing very loudly.
“Ah, somebody’s in there!” they all cried and rushed out of the house in fear.
“What the devil!Why are you running around like crazy?” said Choub, coming in the door.
“Ah, Papa!” said Oksana, “there’s somebody in the sack!”
“In the sack?Where did you get this sack?”
“The blacksmith left them in the middle of the road,” they all said at once.
“Well,” Choub thought to himself, “didn’t I say so?…”
“What are you so afraid of?” he said.“Let’s see.Now, then, my man, never mind if we don’t call you by your full name—get out of the sack!”
The headman got out.
“Ah!” cried the girls.
“The headman was in it, too,” Choub said to himself in perplexity, looking him up and down, “fancy that!… Eh!…” He could say nothing more.
The headman was no less confused himself and did not know how to begin.
“Must be cold out?” he said, addressing Choub.
“A bit nippy,” Choub replied.“And, if I may ask, what do you grease your boots with, mutton fat or tar?”
He had not meant to say that, he had meant to ask: “How did you, the headman, get into this sack?” but, without knowing why himself, he had said something completely different.
“Tar’s better!” said the headman.“Well, good-bye, Choub!” And, pulling down his earflaps, he walked out of the house.
“Why did I ask so stupidly what he greases his boots with!” Choub said, looking at the door through which the headman hadgone.“That’s Solokha!putting such a man into a sack!… A devil of a woman!Fool that I am … but where’s that cursed sack?”
“I threw it in the corner, there’s nothing else in it,” said Oksana.
“I know these tricks—nothing else in it!Give it to me; there’s another one sitting in it!Shake it out well … What, nothing?… Cursed woman!And to look at her—just like a saint, as if she never put anything non-lenten near her lips.”
But let us leave
The weaver and the chum rushed to the sack, the mistress of the house seized it from the other side, and the fight would have started again if the deacon, seeing there was nowhere to hide, hadn’t climbed out of the sack.
“Here’s another one!” the weaver exclaimed in fright.“Devil knows how this world … it makes your head spin … not sausages or biscuits, they throw people into sacks!”
“It’s the deacon!” said Choub, more astonished than anyone else.“Well, now!that’s Solokha for you!putting us into sacks … That’s why she’s got a house full of sacks … Now I see it all: she had two men sitting in each sack.And I thought I was the only one she … That’s Solokha for you!”
T HE GIRLS WERE a bit surprised to find one sack missing.“No help for it, this one will be enough for us,” Oksana prattled.They all took hold of the sack and heaved it onto the sled.
The headman decided to keep quiet, reasoning that if he shouted for them to untie the sack and let him out, the foolish girls would run away, thinking the devil was sitting in it, and he would be left out in the street maybe till the next day.
The girls, meanwhile, all took each other’s hands and flew like the wind, pulling the sled over the creaking snow.Many of them sat on the sled for fun; some got on the headman himself.The headman resolved to endure everything.They finally arrived, opened the doors to the house and the front hall wide, and with loud laughter dragged the sack inside.
“Let’s see what’s in it,” they all shouted and hastened to untie the sack.
Here the hiccups that had never ceased to torment the headman all the while he was sitting in the sack became so bad that he started hicking and coughing very loudly.
“Ah, somebody’s in there!” they all cried and rushed out of the house in fear.
“What the devil!Why are you running around like crazy?” said Choub, coming in the door.
“Ah, Papa!” said Oksana, “there’s somebody in the sack!”
“In the sack?Where did you get this sack?”
“The blacksmith left them in the middle of the road,” they all said at once.
“Well,” Choub thought to himself, “didn’t I say so?…”
“What are you so afraid of?” he said.“Let’s see.Now, then, my man, never mind if we don’t call you by your full name—get out of the sack!”
The headman got out.
“Ah!” cried the girls.
“The headman was in it, too,” Choub said to himself in perplexity, looking him up and down, “fancy that!… Eh!…” He could say nothing more.
The headman was no less confused himself and did not know how to begin.
“Must be cold out?” he said, addressing Choub.
“A bit nippy,” Choub replied.“And, if I may ask, what do you grease your boots with, mutton fat or tar?”
He had not meant to say that, he had meant to ask: “How did you, the headman, get into this sack?” but, without knowing why himself, he had said something completely different.
“Tar’s better!” said the headman.“Well, good-bye, Choub!” And, pulling down his earflaps, he walked out of the house.
“Why did I ask so stupidly what he greases his boots with!” Choub said, looking at the door through which the headman hadgone.“That’s Solokha!putting such a man into a sack!… A devil of a woman!Fool that I am … but where’s that cursed sack?”
“I threw it in the corner, there’s nothing else in it,” said Oksana.
“I know these tricks—nothing else in it!Give it to me; there’s another one sitting in it!Shake it out well … What, nothing?… Cursed woman!And to look at her—just like a saint, as if she never put anything non-lenten near her lips.”
But let us leave
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