instead. Reportedly, Sally was viewing the fire as a kind of cosmic purification, a message that it was time for a fresh start. Now she was meditating and waiting for a sign to point her to the next âphase.â
âMr. OâBrien and his housekeeper are staying at a motel in Brighton Beach,â he said.
âWatching porno and taking advantage of his Viagra prescription?â
âWatching game shows and soaps and arguing. The Japanese film students have been squeezed into NYU dorms. Mr. Burpus is at the Y.â
âAnd Dulcinia Ramirez?â
âI saw her yesterday. Sheâs fine,â he said.
âHow is she enjoying convent life? I hope the nuns arenât too radical for her.â
âItâs not one of those hip, modern-dress left-wing feminist convents,â he said. âItâs the old-fashioned kind, on a wooded lot surrounded by high walls. The sisters wear traditional black-and-white penguin habits.â
âMrs. R. must be happy out there with a lot of other old-fashioned, celibate women who love Jesus,â I said.
âShe is ecstatic,â Phil said. âThey pray a lot, they sing, they read from the New Testament, they bake cakes, they have different activities every night. Monday night is video night. Wednesday night is whist night. Saturday afternoons they go on an outing to a museum or a park. The nuns love Señor. One of them made him a little habit, and now they call him Sister Señor.â
âAnd the nuns love Mrs. Ramirez?â
âWell, Robin, they love her in that good, Christian way. Those nuns love everyone. Thereâs a little friction there though. I canât put my finger on it, but itâs there.â
âHow do you know these nuns?â
âI did some handyman work for them, installed their security system and fixed the cistern. When I was in India, I rewired their mission. In return, they send me free cakes. They bake cakes, you know. Immaculate Confection â¦â
âImmaculate Confection? THOSE nuns?â
âYes, youâve heard of them?â
âI saw a report about them on ANNFN after they went public, or the bakery operation went public anyway. Those are great cakes. Piety and cake, itâs Ramirez heaven. Think sheâll stay on out there?â
âOh, I think she may want to come back to the neighborhood when she can. She was quite concerned that, in her absence, crime was going to skyrocket because thereâd be nobody to patrol and call in reports to the police the way she does.â
âPublic urinators are probably running rampant.â
âTake another swallow,â Phil said. âShe may be calling you too. I let it slip out you were at the Chelsea â¦â
âOh, great.â
For years, Mrs. R. and I had been mortal enemies, on account of her thinking I was a transvestite-madam-drug dealer, and always trying to rap me with her cane. Once the misunderstanding cleared up, she decided we were friends, which was worse. Sheâd corner me, call me, follow me sometimes wanting to tell me about her ideas for TV shows, her conspiracy theories, to complain about her new favorite whipping boys, baby boomers, or just to show me the new electrified Ascension of Jesus display sheâd bought for Easter.
âTheyâre keeping her pretty busy out there,â he said. âI donât think sheâll be bothering you much. Iâll be visiting her again tomorrow. Want to send a message?â
âJust my fond regards.â
I turned to wave for our check, and saw the man in the bad toupee at a nearby table, talking into a telephone. Our eyes met for a moment, and then he looked away. He waved for his check too. I had to force myself to look away from the toupee. It was so bad it kept drawing my eye. By far, this was the worst toupee Iâd ever seen in my life, and Iâve seen some bad ones, having once done a report on the shady side of the
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