Read Online The Case of the Angry Auctioneer (Auction House Mystery Series Book 1) by Sherry Blakeley - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sherry Blakeley
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from the front of the item in question. “Looks alright.”
“You’re bleeding.”
“Can’t find a label in this light. Might have to sell it as Stickley style .”
“There’s blood on your khakis,” Jasper said.
“So what else did you come across down here?”
“I was busy dodging bowling balls and mice.”
“The bowling ball is shit. We’d have to give it away.”
“How about the mouse? It was kind of cute – except for its being disgusting.”
“Cute don’t count for shit in this business. Cute won’t bring much at auction. Disgusting - maybe. Let’s go talk to the owner.”
“Aye-aye, Boss!” Jasper gave him a snappy salute.
“Does everything have to be a game with you? When we get up there, I’ll do all the talking. If the old guy is still inside, distract him.”
“How?”
“How the hell did you get to be this old without any common sense? You talk too much. You always have. Go talk too much to the old guy.”
Upstairs they found Mary Clippert alone in the kitchen. Her cheeks were flushed red but neither side was brighter than the other. Ray Clippert must’ve been the one who’d gotten slapped. Jasper tightened her mouth.
“Everything okay up here?” Jimmy asked. “There was a lot of commotion.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “It’s always something with him. Oh, what happened?”
“The bowling ball got him,” Jasper said. Jimmy shot her a look. She shrugged. Rev. Tim was always telling her how passive aggressive she was. It was the best way she’d figured out to handle bullies.
“You poor man!” Mary knelt down in front of Jimmy and began to roll up the leg of his pants.
“Whoa, Whoa,” Jimmy said as if he was trying to stop a horse back in his native Nebraska.
“Don’t say no.”
He stumbled backwards and landed on a stuffed black garbage bag. “Man, my back,” he moaned.
“Jimmy?”
“Let me help,” Mary said. “I’m used to this kind of thing.”
Before Jasper could move, Mary grabbed up Jimmy and pulled him into a bear hug, her big breasts pressed along his spine, her arms wrapped around his shoulders and chest. She arched backwards and took Jimmy with her. It was like tandem skydiving meets chiropractic for couples. A loud pop sounded. Jimmy groaned. The two-headed chiro beast stood up.
Jasper released her breath with a sigh.
Jimmy rubbed the back of his head. “Wow, what did you do to me, woman? My back feels kind of good now.”
Mary chortled deep in her throat. She released him but stayed behind, still pressing her top half against him. “I bet you have a lot of aches you don’t let on about, Mr. Auctioneer.” Mary gave Jasper a wide, sidewise wink.
“I’ll just go out there now,” Jasper said. Ew. The basement mouse was not the only disgusting thing she had witnessed on her first morning of work.
Chapter 8
“Well, ten-ta-ta-ten-ten, who’ll go ten? I have seven-and-a-half, now ten!” Jimmy called bids. He stood on top of one of the three long tables bunched together. Two of the tables were mostly clear of stuff behind him. He was like a giant Gulliver stomping his way through a Lilliputian village of junk. He left emptiness and unwanted bric-a-brac in his wake. “Ten-now 15,ta-teen-teen, 15, now 20!” he said into his microphone head-set.
A crowd of auction-goers pushed in as close as they could get. Everybody had to worship at Jimmy’s feet. Most were men. Sweat hung heavy in the air. The man in front of Jasper farted. She waved the air in front of her face.
“You bidding?” Ted asked. “Ready Teddy” Phillips was a barrel-chested man with black hair, crafty green eyes and a hale-and-hearty manner that pleased the men in the crowd. He used a winning smile on the women whom he called “girls” no matter what their ages.
Jasper yelled, “No!” People around her laughed.
People were jostling each other. Esteban who had helped her move into her apartment held the old-fashioned meat grinder up in the air. Sweat
“You’re bleeding.”
“Can’t find a label in this light. Might have to sell it as Stickley style .”
“There’s blood on your khakis,” Jasper said.
“So what else did you come across down here?”
“I was busy dodging bowling balls and mice.”
“The bowling ball is shit. We’d have to give it away.”
“How about the mouse? It was kind of cute – except for its being disgusting.”
“Cute don’t count for shit in this business. Cute won’t bring much at auction. Disgusting - maybe. Let’s go talk to the owner.”
“Aye-aye, Boss!” Jasper gave him a snappy salute.
“Does everything have to be a game with you? When we get up there, I’ll do all the talking. If the old guy is still inside, distract him.”
“How?”
“How the hell did you get to be this old without any common sense? You talk too much. You always have. Go talk too much to the old guy.”
Upstairs they found Mary Clippert alone in the kitchen. Her cheeks were flushed red but neither side was brighter than the other. Ray Clippert must’ve been the one who’d gotten slapped. Jasper tightened her mouth.
“Everything okay up here?” Jimmy asked. “There was a lot of commotion.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “It’s always something with him. Oh, what happened?”
“The bowling ball got him,” Jasper said. Jimmy shot her a look. She shrugged. Rev. Tim was always telling her how passive aggressive she was. It was the best way she’d figured out to handle bullies.
“You poor man!” Mary knelt down in front of Jimmy and began to roll up the leg of his pants.
“Whoa, Whoa,” Jimmy said as if he was trying to stop a horse back in his native Nebraska.
“Don’t say no.”
He stumbled backwards and landed on a stuffed black garbage bag. “Man, my back,” he moaned.
“Jimmy?”
“Let me help,” Mary said. “I’m used to this kind of thing.”
Before Jasper could move, Mary grabbed up Jimmy and pulled him into a bear hug, her big breasts pressed along his spine, her arms wrapped around his shoulders and chest. She arched backwards and took Jimmy with her. It was like tandem skydiving meets chiropractic for couples. A loud pop sounded. Jimmy groaned. The two-headed chiro beast stood up.
Jasper released her breath with a sigh.
Jimmy rubbed the back of his head. “Wow, what did you do to me, woman? My back feels kind of good now.”
Mary chortled deep in her throat. She released him but stayed behind, still pressing her top half against him. “I bet you have a lot of aches you don’t let on about, Mr. Auctioneer.” Mary gave Jasper a wide, sidewise wink.
“I’ll just go out there now,” Jasper said. Ew. The basement mouse was not the only disgusting thing she had witnessed on her first morning of work.
Chapter 8
“Well, ten-ta-ta-ten-ten, who’ll go ten? I have seven-and-a-half, now ten!” Jimmy called bids. He stood on top of one of the three long tables bunched together. Two of the tables were mostly clear of stuff behind him. He was like a giant Gulliver stomping his way through a Lilliputian village of junk. He left emptiness and unwanted bric-a-brac in his wake. “Ten-now 15,ta-teen-teen, 15, now 20!” he said into his microphone head-set.
A crowd of auction-goers pushed in as close as they could get. Everybody had to worship at Jimmy’s feet. Most were men. Sweat hung heavy in the air. The man in front of Jasper farted. She waved the air in front of her face.
“You bidding?” Ted asked. “Ready Teddy” Phillips was a barrel-chested man with black hair, crafty green eyes and a hale-and-hearty manner that pleased the men in the crowd. He used a winning smile on the women whom he called “girls” no matter what their ages.
Jasper yelled, “No!” People around her laughed.
People were jostling each other. Esteban who had helped her move into her apartment held the old-fashioned meat grinder up in the air. Sweat
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