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Authors: Gregory McDonald
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the motel, they did say they were being investigated by the Internal Revenue Service and feared being sent to prison.
Flynn had also found Parnell Spaulding, 54, but had not yet interviewed him.
Flynn had watched Spaulding play roulette between two and four-thirty the previous morning. Spaulding was alone. His concentration on the game was intense.
Las Vegas is a nice beach, but it’s a terrible long walk to the water
.
What has Las Vegas got
?
I’ll tell you what Las Vegas has got
.
I’ll tell you what you think Las Vegas has got
.
Money
!
Las Vegas has got money
.
I’ve got money; you’ve got money
.
Isn’t it great having money?
—
as long as we have some other means of supporting ourselves
.
Flynn’s Information Requests from N.N. included the following:
(1) What are the known values of oil rights in the area of Ada, Texas, including “deep wells”?
(2) Are there valuable oil or natural gas rights in the area of East Frampton, Massachusetts, including offshore?
(3) Has any U.S. agency considered the area of Ada, Texas, as a nuclear-waste-materials dump?
(4) State whereabouts of world’s ten top known counterfeiters.
(5) What is the relationship of Captain WilliamH. Coburn, U.S.A.F.I.S. 11B, with Coburn families of East Frampton, Massachusetts, and Ada, Texas?
(6) Is there a man of extreme wealth, age probably about sixty, whose last name is or was Lewis, originally from Ada, Texas?
(7) Who is Ducey Webb?
So what’s money
?
What’s money anymore
?
I’ll tell you what money is
.
Money is tissue paper
.
You might as well blow your nose in it
!
You heard about the guy who broke the bank at Monte Carlo
—
really, he won a fortune
—
brought the money to Las Vegas and by the time he got here he discovered he had to blow it all on a tuna fish sandwich
?
Yesterday a guy put up a tent over his manhole in the street while he was down fixing the sewer pipes
.
When he came up at five o’clock there were seven sheiks standing in line, oil money in hand, trying to make a deal for his tent
!
You know why you’re here
?
You’re not here because you can afford to be
.
You’re here because what it cost you to get in doesn’t matter anymore
!
Twenty dollars you paid to come in and listen to Jimmy Silverstein at three o’clock in the morning
.
My mother would die, if she knew this
.
Your mother would die, if she knew this
.
You remember when money was real? Do you
?
Now here we all are in this big sandbox called Las Vegas, playing with money
!
Because it isn’t real anymore
!
Wheeeeeeee
!
Tell me honestly, ladies and gentlemen: did you ever think you’d live to see the day when the automobile companies had to recall their stock? I mean their common stock
?
Here, kid. Here’s a fifty-dollar bill. Go buy yourself an ice cream
.
Hey, mister. I’m out of work. Can you spare two hundred and fifty dollars
?
Listen, it’s all right, ladies and gentlemen
.
The President of the United States has just written a short book:
How I Saved the World’s Economy.
It’s available from the United States Government Printing Office for only nine hundred and twenty-five dollars
.
Plus eighty-two dollars postage
.
Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve been a wonderful audience
.
Thank you, and good morning
.
“Funny place, America,” Flynn said to the Fischbecks of Milwaukee, who had been kind enough to invite him to share their table.
“Funny?” the male Fischbeck said.
“Yes,” said Flynn. “In America, the truth gets told in some funny places, in some funny ways.”
11
“MIND if I join you?” Flynn asked.
It was four forty-five in the morning.
After again watching Spaulding at the roulette table for a while, Flynn had followed him into the bar area.
Parnell Spaulding was a big man, broad-shouldered, thick-handed, with a face just as baked and creased as the land around Ada, Texas. There was a spot of skin cancer at the corner of his
Flynn had also found Parnell Spaulding, 54, but had not yet interviewed him.
Flynn had watched Spaulding play roulette between two and four-thirty the previous morning. Spaulding was alone. His concentration on the game was intense.
Las Vegas is a nice beach, but it’s a terrible long walk to the water
.
What has Las Vegas got
?
I’ll tell you what Las Vegas has got
.
I’ll tell you what you think Las Vegas has got
.
Money
!
Las Vegas has got money
.
I’ve got money; you’ve got money
.
Isn’t it great having money?
—
as long as we have some other means of supporting ourselves
.
Flynn’s Information Requests from N.N. included the following:
(1) What are the known values of oil rights in the area of Ada, Texas, including “deep wells”?
(2) Are there valuable oil or natural gas rights in the area of East Frampton, Massachusetts, including offshore?
(3) Has any U.S. agency considered the area of Ada, Texas, as a nuclear-waste-materials dump?
(4) State whereabouts of world’s ten top known counterfeiters.
(5) What is the relationship of Captain WilliamH. Coburn, U.S.A.F.I.S. 11B, with Coburn families of East Frampton, Massachusetts, and Ada, Texas?
(6) Is there a man of extreme wealth, age probably about sixty, whose last name is or was Lewis, originally from Ada, Texas?
(7) Who is Ducey Webb?
So what’s money
?
What’s money anymore
?
I’ll tell you what money is
.
Money is tissue paper
.
You might as well blow your nose in it
!
You heard about the guy who broke the bank at Monte Carlo
—
really, he won a fortune
—
brought the money to Las Vegas and by the time he got here he discovered he had to blow it all on a tuna fish sandwich
?
Yesterday a guy put up a tent over his manhole in the street while he was down fixing the sewer pipes
.
When he came up at five o’clock there were seven sheiks standing in line, oil money in hand, trying to make a deal for his tent
!
You know why you’re here
?
You’re not here because you can afford to be
.
You’re here because what it cost you to get in doesn’t matter anymore
!
Twenty dollars you paid to come in and listen to Jimmy Silverstein at three o’clock in the morning
.
My mother would die, if she knew this
.
Your mother would die, if she knew this
.
You remember when money was real? Do you
?
Now here we all are in this big sandbox called Las Vegas, playing with money
!
Because it isn’t real anymore
!
Wheeeeeeee
!
Tell me honestly, ladies and gentlemen: did you ever think you’d live to see the day when the automobile companies had to recall their stock? I mean their common stock
?
Here, kid. Here’s a fifty-dollar bill. Go buy yourself an ice cream
.
Hey, mister. I’m out of work. Can you spare two hundred and fifty dollars
?
Listen, it’s all right, ladies and gentlemen
.
The President of the United States has just written a short book:
How I Saved the World’s Economy.
It’s available from the United States Government Printing Office for only nine hundred and twenty-five dollars
.
Plus eighty-two dollars postage
.
Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve been a wonderful audience
.
Thank you, and good morning
.
“Funny place, America,” Flynn said to the Fischbecks of Milwaukee, who had been kind enough to invite him to share their table.
“Funny?” the male Fischbeck said.
“Yes,” said Flynn. “In America, the truth gets told in some funny places, in some funny ways.”
11
“MIND if I join you?” Flynn asked.
It was four forty-five in the morning.
After again watching Spaulding at the roulette table for a while, Flynn had followed him into the bar area.
Parnell Spaulding was a big man, broad-shouldered, thick-handed, with a face just as baked and creased as the land around Ada, Texas. There was a spot of skin cancer at the corner of his
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