supervillains.
“So, you think you’ve won?” Kiki mocked the moment I raced up.
“Well, if by ‘won’ you mean that I kicked your butt and we defeated your Brotherhood of Rotten Babysitters — if
that’s
what you mean by ‘won,’ then yeah, I think so.”
“Think again,” Kiki said. I finally noticed she had wriggled a hand down to her waist. Before I could act, she pushed a button on her belt.
“Okay, is that calling for more babysitters?” I asked.
I heard a loud rumble behind me. A large missile rose slowly from the jungle terrain.
“There’s not a chance that’s just filled with popcorn, is there?”
“That, my stinking little sidekick, is the Babytron Bomb!” Kiki laughed.
“The Babytron Bomb?!” I gasped. “Wait. What’s a Babytron Bomb?”
“When that hits California, the entire Western seaboard will be turned into babies!”
“I thought you hated kids!”
“I DO! But it pays cash, and you can make your own hours. Besides, I’ve invested all my babysitter and supervillain earnings into stock in diaper companies!” Kiki squirmed in her net, but she wasn’t going anywhere. “You may have won the fight, sidekick, but I won the bigger fight! And the next fight will be for cribs and pacifiers!”
“You’re insidious!” I yelled.
“No, I’m
rotten,
” she corrected.
I pulled out my sidekick Super Wrist Communicator of Tiny Screenness. “Spelling Beatrice! We’ve got trouble!”
“I know! Is that a missile?!” her tiny face appeared on the tiny screen on my tiny wrist communicator.
“Worse. A Babytron Bomb.”
“Oh no! Not a Babytron Bomb!” She gasped. “Wait. What’s a Babytron Bomb?”
“No time to explain! I’ve gotta get up there quick or half the U.S. will be wearing poopy diapers and crying for their mommies!”
“They’re despicable!” Spelling Beatrice said. “ROTTEN! We’re
rotten
! Why is that so hard to remember?!” Kiki shouted.
“Why hasn’t it blasted off yet?” Spelling Beatrice asked.
I looked to Kiki. She averted her eyes.
“Well?” I asked.
“I...uh...I like, kind of figured we’d have you captured already when we launched it, so I ... like ... kinda extended the countdown time to uh... you know ... give it more...you know...,” she stammered.
I looked at Spelling Beatrice on my Super Wrist Communicator of Tiny Screenness. “Dramatic tension,” I said.
Chapter Sixteen
Bye-Bye, Baby!
The Babytron Bomb rumbled as it slowly lifted off from Skull Island.
It had taken only a few seconds for my mom to navigate the hover platform to the ground. “I’d just like to tell everyone that I am
so
proud of my son!” She showered me with kisses and hugs.
“Mom! Please! You’re embarrassing me in front of the supervillains!”
“A loser like you defeated us, and, like, you think
you’re
embarrassed?” Candi complained with an eye roll.
And now, there I was, zooming over the jungle. I pressed the throttle lever on the hover platform as hard as I could, hoping to get to the Babytron Bomb before it shot into the sky.
Who knows what I would do once I did get there.
I didn’t have much time. I didn’t know if I would be coming back. I had so many questions; so many questions that might never be answered. Important questions like, “Why do they call it ‘Skull Island’ if it’s got nothing to do with babysitting and there’s not a rock or a mountain that even vaguely looks like a skull?” and “Why couldn’t they have used their babysitting powers for good instead of evil?” and perhaps the most important, “Is there
really
a Supervillain Handbook?”
The Babytron Bomb picked up speed. I didn’t know how fast the hover platform could fly, I just knew it could never keep up with a Baby-tron Bomb. I mean, I assume they’re fast.
I’d have only one chance. But I couldn’t think about that now. I could think only about all those crying babies and stinky diapers. I was the last hope of the Western United States.
“So, you think you’ve won?” Kiki mocked the moment I raced up.
“Well, if by ‘won’ you mean that I kicked your butt and we defeated your Brotherhood of Rotten Babysitters — if
that’s
what you mean by ‘won,’ then yeah, I think so.”
“Think again,” Kiki said. I finally noticed she had wriggled a hand down to her waist. Before I could act, she pushed a button on her belt.
“Okay, is that calling for more babysitters?” I asked.
I heard a loud rumble behind me. A large missile rose slowly from the jungle terrain.
“There’s not a chance that’s just filled with popcorn, is there?”
“That, my stinking little sidekick, is the Babytron Bomb!” Kiki laughed.
“The Babytron Bomb?!” I gasped. “Wait. What’s a Babytron Bomb?”
“When that hits California, the entire Western seaboard will be turned into babies!”
“I thought you hated kids!”
“I DO! But it pays cash, and you can make your own hours. Besides, I’ve invested all my babysitter and supervillain earnings into stock in diaper companies!” Kiki squirmed in her net, but she wasn’t going anywhere. “You may have won the fight, sidekick, but I won the bigger fight! And the next fight will be for cribs and pacifiers!”
“You’re insidious!” I yelled.
“No, I’m
rotten,
” she corrected.
I pulled out my sidekick Super Wrist Communicator of Tiny Screenness. “Spelling Beatrice! We’ve got trouble!”
“I know! Is that a missile?!” her tiny face appeared on the tiny screen on my tiny wrist communicator.
“Worse. A Babytron Bomb.”
“Oh no! Not a Babytron Bomb!” She gasped. “Wait. What’s a Babytron Bomb?”
“No time to explain! I’ve gotta get up there quick or half the U.S. will be wearing poopy diapers and crying for their mommies!”
“They’re despicable!” Spelling Beatrice said. “ROTTEN! We’re
rotten
! Why is that so hard to remember?!” Kiki shouted.
“Why hasn’t it blasted off yet?” Spelling Beatrice asked.
I looked to Kiki. She averted her eyes.
“Well?” I asked.
“I...uh...I like, kind of figured we’d have you captured already when we launched it, so I ... like ... kinda extended the countdown time to uh... you know ... give it more...you know...,” she stammered.
I looked at Spelling Beatrice on my Super Wrist Communicator of Tiny Screenness. “Dramatic tension,” I said.
Chapter Sixteen
Bye-Bye, Baby!
The Babytron Bomb rumbled as it slowly lifted off from Skull Island.
It had taken only a few seconds for my mom to navigate the hover platform to the ground. “I’d just like to tell everyone that I am
so
proud of my son!” She showered me with kisses and hugs.
“Mom! Please! You’re embarrassing me in front of the supervillains!”
“A loser like you defeated us, and, like, you think
you’re
embarrassed?” Candi complained with an eye roll.
And now, there I was, zooming over the jungle. I pressed the throttle lever on the hover platform as hard as I could, hoping to get to the Babytron Bomb before it shot into the sky.
Who knows what I would do once I did get there.
I didn’t have much time. I didn’t know if I would be coming back. I had so many questions; so many questions that might never be answered. Important questions like, “Why do they call it ‘Skull Island’ if it’s got nothing to do with babysitting and there’s not a rock or a mountain that even vaguely looks like a skull?” and “Why couldn’t they have used their babysitting powers for good instead of evil?” and perhaps the most important, “Is there
really
a Supervillain Handbook?”
The Babytron Bomb picked up speed. I didn’t know how fast the hover platform could fly, I just knew it could never keep up with a Baby-tron Bomb. I mean, I assume they’re fast.
I’d have only one chance. But I couldn’t think about that now. I could think only about all those crying babies and stinky diapers. I was the last hope of the Western United States.
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