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Authors: Don Marquis
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he
is waiting to see if i ever really do
change my spots
archy
confessions of a glutton
after i ate my dinner then i ate
part of a shoe
i found some archies by a bathroom pipe
and ate them too
i ate some glue
i ate a bone that had got nice and ripe
six weeks buried in the ground
i ate a little mousie that i found
i ate some sawdust from the cellar floor
it tasted sweet
i ate some outcast meat
and some roach paste by the pantry door
and then the missis had some folks to tea
nice folks who petted me
and so i ate
cakes from a plate
i ate some polish that they use
for boots and shoes
and then i went back to the missis swell tea party
i guess i must have eat too hearty
of something maybe cake
for then came the earthquake
you should have seen the missis face
and when the boss came in she said
no wonder that dog hangs his head
he knows hes in disgrace
i am a well intentioned little pup
but sometimes things come up
to get a little dog in bad
and now i feel so very very sad
but the boss said never mind old scout
time wears disgraces out
pete the pup
literary jealousy
dear boss i dont see
why you keep that ugly
boston bull terrier pete
hanging around
eating his head off
in these hard times
he is nothing but a parasite
and he has no morals
he has tried several times
to murder me
archy
When this ill-natured remark was read to Pete the Pup he ambled over to the typewriter, got up on his hind legs and pawed out the following reply:
i coNSIder It beneath
my Dignity to reply
to The sLanders of a Jealous
iNsect who does not
have a pUnctuaTION mark
in a baRRel of him
he is MereLY an archy
i am against anarchy
I AM A CAPITALIST
i wish to remind you however
that ONE STORY WHICH
YOU SOLD ABOUT ME BROUGHT
IN ENOUGH MONEY TO FEED ME
FOR FIVE YEARS AND I DENY
THAT I AM A PARASITE
moreover the time is
coming when you have to choose
between ME AND mehitabel
that lousy cat and when i say
LOusy i do not Mean the word
in iTS sLang SENSE
I mean Lousy in the sense of
a CAT wHo has LICE
pete the pup
pete s theology
god made seas to play beside
and rugs to cover dogs
god made cars for holidays
and beetles under logs
god made kitchens so thered be
dinners to eat and scraps
god made beds so pups could crawl
under them for naps
god made license numbers so theyd find
lost pups and bring them home
god made garbage buckets too
to pry in when you roam
god made tennis shoes to chew
and here and there a hat
but i cant see why god should make
mehitabel the cat
pete the pup
pete petitions
when we are in the city we must walk
on streets all made of stone
with me upon a leash
and even in the park
i must not frisk or lark
and never run alone
without a muzzle on my jaws
and cops are watching all the time
lest i dig with my claws
and break some of their laws
and if i leap and bark
they act like i was bad
master i want some little towns
like we saw from the car
with meadows all about
where children romp and shout
brooks winding in and out
and nice bugs under stones
gardens to bury bones
and room to rip and race
and cops are watching all the time
and birds and cats to chase
trash cans to be tipped over
and grass to lie in and deep clover
and fence posts everywhere
no muzzles and no leashes there
and lots and lots of trees
o master buy a little town
where we can settle down
today o master please
buy me a little town
and a new rubber ball
and an ocean and thats all
right now o master please
pete the pup
a radical flea
dear boss i wish you would speak
to that lazy good for nothing
boston bull terrier of yours
whom you call pete
pete has got the idea lately
that he is a great hunter
i saw him stage a dramatic battle
with a grass hopper yesterday
and he nearly won it too
and this morning he made an entirely
unprovoked attack on me
it was only by retreating into
the mechanism of your typewriter
that i saved my life
some day i will set
is waiting to see if i ever really do
change my spots
archy
confessions of a glutton
after i ate my dinner then i ate
part of a shoe
i found some archies by a bathroom pipe
and ate them too
i ate some glue
i ate a bone that had got nice and ripe
six weeks buried in the ground
i ate a little mousie that i found
i ate some sawdust from the cellar floor
it tasted sweet
i ate some outcast meat
and some roach paste by the pantry door
and then the missis had some folks to tea
nice folks who petted me
and so i ate
cakes from a plate
i ate some polish that they use
for boots and shoes
and then i went back to the missis swell tea party
i guess i must have eat too hearty
of something maybe cake
for then came the earthquake
you should have seen the missis face
and when the boss came in she said
no wonder that dog hangs his head
he knows hes in disgrace
i am a well intentioned little pup
but sometimes things come up
to get a little dog in bad
and now i feel so very very sad
but the boss said never mind old scout
time wears disgraces out
pete the pup
literary jealousy
dear boss i dont see
why you keep that ugly
boston bull terrier pete
hanging around
eating his head off
in these hard times
he is nothing but a parasite
and he has no morals
he has tried several times
to murder me
archy
When this ill-natured remark was read to Pete the Pup he ambled over to the typewriter, got up on his hind legs and pawed out the following reply:
i coNSIder It beneath
my Dignity to reply
to The sLanders of a Jealous
iNsect who does not
have a pUnctuaTION mark
in a baRRel of him
he is MereLY an archy
i am against anarchy
I AM A CAPITALIST
i wish to remind you however
that ONE STORY WHICH
YOU SOLD ABOUT ME BROUGHT
IN ENOUGH MONEY TO FEED ME
FOR FIVE YEARS AND I DENY
THAT I AM A PARASITE
moreover the time is
coming when you have to choose
between ME AND mehitabel
that lousy cat and when i say
LOusy i do not Mean the word
in iTS sLang SENSE
I mean Lousy in the sense of
a CAT wHo has LICE
pete the pup
pete s theology
god made seas to play beside
and rugs to cover dogs
god made cars for holidays
and beetles under logs
god made kitchens so thered be
dinners to eat and scraps
god made beds so pups could crawl
under them for naps
god made license numbers so theyd find
lost pups and bring them home
god made garbage buckets too
to pry in when you roam
god made tennis shoes to chew
and here and there a hat
but i cant see why god should make
mehitabel the cat
pete the pup
pete petitions
when we are in the city we must walk
on streets all made of stone
with me upon a leash
and even in the park
i must not frisk or lark
and never run alone
without a muzzle on my jaws
and cops are watching all the time
lest i dig with my claws
and break some of their laws
and if i leap and bark
they act like i was bad
master i want some little towns
like we saw from the car
with meadows all about
where children romp and shout
brooks winding in and out
and nice bugs under stones
gardens to bury bones
and room to rip and race
and cops are watching all the time
and birds and cats to chase
trash cans to be tipped over
and grass to lie in and deep clover
and fence posts everywhere
no muzzles and no leashes there
and lots and lots of trees
o master buy a little town
where we can settle down
today o master please
buy me a little town
and a new rubber ball
and an ocean and thats all
right now o master please
pete the pup
a radical flea
dear boss i wish you would speak
to that lazy good for nothing
boston bull terrier of yours
whom you call pete
pete has got the idea lately
that he is a great hunter
i saw him stage a dramatic battle
with a grass hopper yesterday
and he nearly won it too
and this morning he made an entirely
unprovoked attack on me
it was only by retreating into
the mechanism of your typewriter
that i saved my life
some day i will set
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