Read Online The BEDMAS Conspiracy by Deborah Sherman - Free Book Online Page A

glanced at me. What was he up to?
    He started to sing.
    Geography, Algebra, English and History—
Why we get so much homework is a mystery.
It takes up all of our precious free time.
Is having an hour for PlayStation such a crime?
    Big Elephants Can Always Understand Small Elephants. Yeah Yeah Yeah.
Big Elephants Can Always Understand Small Elephants. Yeah Yeah Yeah.
    There are so many things I could do in those hours after dinner:
TV, computer games, web design for a beginner,
Calling the cute girl in homeroom or playing sports—
Instead I’m stuck inside writing book reports.
    Big Elephants Can Always Understand Small Elephants. Yeah Yeah Yeah.
Big Elephants Can Always Understand Small Elephants. Yeah Yeah Yeah.
    He sang the chorus one more time. “I call it ‘The Homework Tragedy.’ It’s kind of a companion piece to ‘Detention Blues’.”
    I had to admit the tune was kind of catchy, but the lyrics made no sense. “Big elephants can always understand small elephants? What does that even mean? It doesn’t go with the rest of the song.”
    â€œ B ig E lephants C an A lways U nderstand S mall E lephants,” repeated Eldrick, slowly and deliberately. “Put the first letters together and you get BECAUSE. It’s a little study trick I use. You said you wished you could remember this week’s word list as easily as you remember our lyrics. You should have no problem if the lyrics and the word list are one and the same.”
    The idea wasn’t half bad.
    â€œPlay it again, E!” bellowed Sludge.
    The band started up. After they sang the chorus, Sludge chimed in:
    I before E, except after C—I just need some time to be free!
I before E, except after C—All of this homework leaves no time to be me!
    Suddenly Daniela added:
    Also when saying A, like neighbour or weigh.
I know it’s cliché—but send this homework away!
    Then everyone joined in the chorus:
    Big Elephants Can Always Understand Small Elephants. Yeah Yeah Yeah.
Big Elephants Can Always Understand Small Elephants. Yeah Yeah Yeah.
    The song sounded pretty cool with all the different harmonies. I could feel my head bobbing up and down despite myself. Still, I wasn’t sold on the chorus—especially because it was written by a blackmailer.
    â€œIsn’t everyone going to wonder what we’re singing about? First we’re singing a blues tune about homework, and suddenly we’re harmonizing about the heartfelt connection between zoo animals?”
    â€œActually, I think it adds a cool sense of mystery to the song,” said Sludge. “I loved the Perogies’ song, ‘Filled with Potato and Cheese’ because, for the longest time, I didn’t know what they were singing about. At first I thought they were saying ‘Fight the Tomatoes and Peas.’ I thought it was another protest song about that new vegan pasta the caf’ experimented with last month. Then, when I actually figured out what they were saying, I thought it was about Mr. Papernick. You know how he’s always lecturing us about making the most of our abilities. Blah, blah, blah . I thought the Perogies were talking about how he’s full of hot air. Not until the caf’ held their annual international lunch day did I learn that the Perogies were singing about stuffed dumplings.”
    â€œWeren’t you annoyed when you finally realized you had it wrong? That they were just singing about lunch ?” I asked him.
    â€œNot at all,” said Sludge smiling. “In my mind, it’s still about Papernick. I hum it to myself every time he lectures me about not finishing my homework.”
    I could see Sludge’s point. The grade eights would think the song was a bluesy shout-out to the rough days they had when they’d first arrived as innocent grade sixers—from big fishes at Pleasant Valley Elementary School to nothings at Wilcott. And the grade sixers