âYouâre the baddies here, not me, and youâre going to get it.â
Brave words, but I didnât feel brave. I feltmore frightened than Iâd ever felt in my life before. The man just chuckled.
Then I saw something that cheered me up by at least a thousand per cent.
âGet them, boy!â
The man spun round.
It was Noah and Rudy. They hadnât run away; theyâd just gone round to the front of the garages.
Noah, looking rather striking in his Spider-Man costume, was pointing at the man, urging Rudy to attack, to prove once and for all that he was a true member of the Bare Bum Gang. Rudy growled menacingly, a look of hate in his eyes.
And then he sat down and appeared to go to sleep.
âHa, not much of a mutt. Thatâs why we threw him out of the car.â
âThat was . . .â
It was all falling into place.
âSo then, what shall we do with the two of you?â
But just then Trixie reappeared. She quickly sized up the situation, deciding who to bite first.
I then had my first piece of good luck in ages. Instead of attacking me, she fastened onto the manâs trousers, snarling and growling in the best Trixie way.
The man said some very rude words. Perhaps thatâs what woke Rudy up â I mean, hearing his real name shouted out like that. But once he was awake he saw the man give Trixie a big kick, sending the poor little dog flying through the air.
Finally Rudy was moved to anger. And in a flash I realized that Rudy hadnât chased Trixie to eat her, but because he loved her and wanted to marry her. And now, with a fearsome roar, he charged at the man.
Kicking little rats is one thing, but facing up to a big fat dog like Rude Word is quite another, and the man turned to run.
Now, anyone knows that if you turn your back on a charging dog only one thing isgoing to happen. And that happened now. Rudy took a massive bite out of the manâs bum. I heard the wet sound of his teeth sinking into the manâs wobbly buttock.
His scream sounded like this:
âAAAEEEEEIIIIIIIIOOOOOOUUUUUU.â
It was as if he was trying to yell out all the vowels in the right order. I was quite impressed that he got it right, considering there was a dog attached to his bottom.
Noah ran towards me, grabbed my arm and yelled at me to run.
âNo need,â I said, and pointed along the row of garages. Jamieâs dad was coming, armed not just with his cricket bat, but with the pads and helmet as well. And right behind him, its nee-naw blaring loudly, came the police car.
âI donât think weâve anything to worry about here, Noah,â I said, sounding like a cool secret agent whoâs just defeated the super-villains without even breaking into a sweat.
I DID ACTUALLY have something to worry about.
It was a day later and I was standing in our living room. The telly wasnât on, which is usually a sign that something terrible is happening.
âWhat you did was very dangerous and irresponsible. I think that your parents should ground you for at least a week. And I believe they agree with me.â
A very fat police sergeant with at least eight quivering chins was giving me a big telling off.
âYou could have got yourself into a very tricky situation. If we hadnât arrived that minute, I donât know what would have happened.â
At that minute, I wanted to tell him, one of the men was trying to extract Rudy from his bottom, and the other was being strangled (but not to death) by Ray Quasar. I thought we were fairly safe.
Anyway, the three policemen in the car arrested the pet thieves. They told us later that theyâd been on their trail as they moved around stealing animals and selling them to pet shops, who sold them on again to ordinary people. Most of the animals were recovered, except for the parrots, which flew away together for ever and probably got married, like Trixie and Rudy.
Back in our living room, my
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