Read Online The Bare Bum Gang and the Holy Grail by Anthony McGowan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Anthony McGowan
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was too tempting, and the big dog swerved to intercept it.
We’d gained ourselves a few seconds.
‘Hold my hand,’ said Jenny to Jamie. He took it. Then she reached out to me. Noah held Jamie’s other hand, the three of them forming a human chain. A human chain of friendship. I touched Jenny’s fingertip. Then her hand was in mine.
‘Pull!’ she yelled to everyone.
But it was too late. Zoltan had scoffed the sausage roll, and his attention was focused on us again. He galloped towards us and prepared to make his killing lunge, with his jaws open, his mouth watering, his teeth at the ready. We cringed, awaiting the monster’s attack.
It never came.
At my side I saw a brown blur, and Rude Word sprang into action. OK, more of a waddle than a spring, but there he was, putting his fat body in between me and Zoltan.
The hellhound stopped in his tracks, and the vicious look on his face changed. He put his head on one side in a puzzled kind of way. Rude Word just sat there. Then Zoltan sat down opposite him. They stretched out their noses and sniffed each other. Then their noses touched.
‘I think they’re kissing,’ said Jenny.
‘Yuck!’ moaned The Moan. ‘That’s disgusting!’
‘Do you think maybe Zoltan is a lady dog?’ said Noah.
‘She must be. We’ll have to call her Zoltana from now on,’ said Jenny.
Rude Word and Zoltana did some more kissing, but the guard was getting closer, and I didn’t think being kissed by Rude Word would stop
him
from grabbing us. I could hear him shouting, see the spittle flying from his angry mouth.
‘Pull!’ I yelled, and they did.
With a huge sucking noise I was free.
‘Come on, guys,’ I shouted, and we dashed for the fence. Each of us dived through the gap. I looked back and Rude Word was trundling along behind us, casting sorry looks over his shoulder at Zoltana, who also looked sad about losing her new boyfriend.
Once Rudy scrambled through, we all ran away a safe distance from the fence. The Group 9 guard stood there shaking his fist at us.
‘And don’t you dare come back,’ he screamed, ‘or you’ll be sorry!’
The Bare Bum Gang responded by blowing raspberries, calling him names, etc., etc., until I told them to stop, as he was only doing his job, which involved him being mean to children.
And then, exhausted, we went home, agreeing to meet up the next morning at the hospital.
Chapter Fifteen
THE RETURN OF THE GRAIL
WE ALL GATHERED round King Arthur’s bed. He was in a room with two other patients, both of them old men, both of them asleep. Or possibly dead.
King Arthur looked a lot better than he had the last time we’d seen him. He was wearing yellow pyjamas. His beard and hair had been washed, and he looked properly regal, which means like a king, only posher. He didn’t smell of wee at all.
‘Who the heck are you lot?’ he barked when he saw us.
Actually, what he first said was more like ‘
Fwap mwap wmap fwap
’, but then he reached into a glass on his bedside cabinet, grabbed a set of shiny new false teeth and shoved them in his mouth. Then he could talk properly.
‘We’re the Bare Bum Gang,’ I answered. He looked a bit perplexed at that, which was understandable. ‘We helped you when you fainted.’
‘I didn’t faint. I was just having a little rest.’ Then he added suspiciously, ‘Are you the lot that were throwing stones at me?’
‘No, that was the
baddies
. We’re the
goodies
. You asked us to get the Holy Grail from the tower block where you were staying.’
‘The Holy Grail? What the heck are you talking about?’
‘The treasure. The special thing – you told us all about it. We’ve got it here.’
I held up the pretty decorated box with the photo album inside it.
His face lit up as if someone was shining a torch on it. ‘My treasure?’ he said, almost deliriously. ‘You’ve really got it? Give, give . . .’
I passed him the box. He opened it carefully, looked inside, and took out the
We’d gained ourselves a few seconds.
‘Hold my hand,’ said Jenny to Jamie. He took it. Then she reached out to me. Noah held Jamie’s other hand, the three of them forming a human chain. A human chain of friendship. I touched Jenny’s fingertip. Then her hand was in mine.
‘Pull!’ she yelled to everyone.
But it was too late. Zoltan had scoffed the sausage roll, and his attention was focused on us again. He galloped towards us and prepared to make his killing lunge, with his jaws open, his mouth watering, his teeth at the ready. We cringed, awaiting the monster’s attack.
It never came.
At my side I saw a brown blur, and Rude Word sprang into action. OK, more of a waddle than a spring, but there he was, putting his fat body in between me and Zoltan.
The hellhound stopped in his tracks, and the vicious look on his face changed. He put his head on one side in a puzzled kind of way. Rude Word just sat there. Then Zoltan sat down opposite him. They stretched out their noses and sniffed each other. Then their noses touched.
‘I think they’re kissing,’ said Jenny.
‘Yuck!’ moaned The Moan. ‘That’s disgusting!’
‘Do you think maybe Zoltan is a lady dog?’ said Noah.
‘She must be. We’ll have to call her Zoltana from now on,’ said Jenny.
Rude Word and Zoltana did some more kissing, but the guard was getting closer, and I didn’t think being kissed by Rude Word would stop
him
from grabbing us. I could hear him shouting, see the spittle flying from his angry mouth.
‘Pull!’ I yelled, and they did.
With a huge sucking noise I was free.
‘Come on, guys,’ I shouted, and we dashed for the fence. Each of us dived through the gap. I looked back and Rude Word was trundling along behind us, casting sorry looks over his shoulder at Zoltana, who also looked sad about losing her new boyfriend.
Once Rudy scrambled through, we all ran away a safe distance from the fence. The Group 9 guard stood there shaking his fist at us.
‘And don’t you dare come back,’ he screamed, ‘or you’ll be sorry!’
The Bare Bum Gang responded by blowing raspberries, calling him names, etc., etc., until I told them to stop, as he was only doing his job, which involved him being mean to children.
And then, exhausted, we went home, agreeing to meet up the next morning at the hospital.
Chapter Fifteen
THE RETURN OF THE GRAIL
WE ALL GATHERED round King Arthur’s bed. He was in a room with two other patients, both of them old men, both of them asleep. Or possibly dead.
King Arthur looked a lot better than he had the last time we’d seen him. He was wearing yellow pyjamas. His beard and hair had been washed, and he looked properly regal, which means like a king, only posher. He didn’t smell of wee at all.
‘Who the heck are you lot?’ he barked when he saw us.
Actually, what he first said was more like ‘
Fwap mwap wmap fwap
’, but then he reached into a glass on his bedside cabinet, grabbed a set of shiny new false teeth and shoved them in his mouth. Then he could talk properly.
‘We’re the Bare Bum Gang,’ I answered. He looked a bit perplexed at that, which was understandable. ‘We helped you when you fainted.’
‘I didn’t faint. I was just having a little rest.’ Then he added suspiciously, ‘Are you the lot that were throwing stones at me?’
‘No, that was the
baddies
. We’re the
goodies
. You asked us to get the Holy Grail from the tower block where you were staying.’
‘The Holy Grail? What the heck are you talking about?’
‘The treasure. The special thing – you told us all about it. We’ve got it here.’
I held up the pretty decorated box with the photo album inside it.
His face lit up as if someone was shining a torch on it. ‘My treasure?’ he said, almost deliriously. ‘You’ve really got it? Give, give . . .’
I passed him the box. He opened it carefully, looked inside, and took out the
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