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Authors: S. Reesa Herberth, Michelle Moore
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much. The pause was interminable, his fingers immobile on the keyboard. I was never much for guys, I mean, beyond a passing interest. I don’t know if that’s different now, because of this, or because it’s YOU…
Children’s rhymes be damned, words did hurt, hurt plenty. In the gut, in the heart, a great solid blow that felt amazingly physical. Riv gritted his teeth and forced something approaching a shrug.
But Ducks was still typing. I said I don’t KNOW. He looked up, but it was Riv who had to look away this time, unable to meet the anguished expression. The doctors here have said I won’t ever be the same person, that trauma is like a head injury, it changes the actual shape of the brain. So I’ll never be who I was. But I don’t know who I AM.
He wasn’t sure if the small distressed sound came from his throat or Ducks’. Riv swallowed hard. “So what do you want from me?”
The weak smile was at least that, and Ducks shrugged helplessly. Come here and help me find out?
“I’m not sure I should,” Riv said softly. “Because what I want, what I really want, it isn’t friendship.
I’m not sure I can keep that out of how I act around you.” Kicking the chair next to him out from under the table, he sat down in a defeated sprawl, tipping his head over the back and rubbing the bridge of his nose while he listened to the clatter of fingers over the keyboard. When he looked up, the text splashed across his screen was enough to make him blink.
I’m not asking you to. But what happens if it turns out that I’m not wired that way? I never really was before, but you… There’s something about you and I.
“Then you’ll at least know that much about yourself.”
What about you?
38
www.samhainpublishing.com
The Balance of Silence
Riv grinned wryly. “I’ll be disappointed. Really disappointed. But I’ll survive. Besides, it won’t be the first time I’ve mistakenly hit on a straight guy.” Okay, so that part was a lie. He could in all honesty say that he’d never hit on anyone who didn’t return the interest, but if it made Ducks feel better…
The hope in the blue eyes meeting his was painfully intense. So you’ll come here?
“Of course.”
www.samhainpublishing.com
39
Chapter Five
“Vid me if you need to talk, okay?” Del whispered in Riv’s ear as she gave him a hug goodbye. He had to practically bend in half to reach her, but he managed an extra squeeze of thanks.
“Enjoy the beach, hot stuff. Try not to burn your nose again.” He hefted his duffel and sauntered away from the rest of the crew as they fell to arguing over whether to eat or hit the beach first. Del had trembled her lip at Bin when she’d heard that Riv was taking leave to see his mum on Karibee, and now they were all docking for the weekend. He was still smirking over Bin’s choice of an alarmingly loud floral shirt.
The tram ride to the facility was quiet, a mercy from his rather loquacious countrymen, and when he got off at his stop he was pleased to find the streets cleaner than he remembered, and fewer bars on the windows.
“Hello. Can I help ya?” the nurse asked.
“Yes, I’m here to see Pryce Markham.”
She glanced down at her notebook, frowning slightly. “Is he a doctor or a patient?”
“Oh. Um, patient.” Riv winced. He’d never even thought about having to make the distinction. That, and it still didn’t seem right that Ducks was a patient at this facility, well-respected as it was. It implied that there was something wrong with him, that he needed to be somewhere.
“Yes, here he is.” Briskly businesslike now, she tapped the screen, waiting for a sheet of paper to slide out of the printer before pushing it across the counter to Riv. “He’s in the south wing, room 296.” She traced the path with a finger. “You need to go out the main doors at the end of the lobby and cross the courtyard. His room is towards the back of the building. It should take you about ten
Children’s rhymes be damned, words did hurt, hurt plenty. In the gut, in the heart, a great solid blow that felt amazingly physical. Riv gritted his teeth and forced something approaching a shrug.
But Ducks was still typing. I said I don’t KNOW. He looked up, but it was Riv who had to look away this time, unable to meet the anguished expression. The doctors here have said I won’t ever be the same person, that trauma is like a head injury, it changes the actual shape of the brain. So I’ll never be who I was. But I don’t know who I AM.
He wasn’t sure if the small distressed sound came from his throat or Ducks’. Riv swallowed hard. “So what do you want from me?”
The weak smile was at least that, and Ducks shrugged helplessly. Come here and help me find out?
“I’m not sure I should,” Riv said softly. “Because what I want, what I really want, it isn’t friendship.
I’m not sure I can keep that out of how I act around you.” Kicking the chair next to him out from under the table, he sat down in a defeated sprawl, tipping his head over the back and rubbing the bridge of his nose while he listened to the clatter of fingers over the keyboard. When he looked up, the text splashed across his screen was enough to make him blink.
I’m not asking you to. But what happens if it turns out that I’m not wired that way? I never really was before, but you… There’s something about you and I.
“Then you’ll at least know that much about yourself.”
What about you?
38
www.samhainpublishing.com
The Balance of Silence
Riv grinned wryly. “I’ll be disappointed. Really disappointed. But I’ll survive. Besides, it won’t be the first time I’ve mistakenly hit on a straight guy.” Okay, so that part was a lie. He could in all honesty say that he’d never hit on anyone who didn’t return the interest, but if it made Ducks feel better…
The hope in the blue eyes meeting his was painfully intense. So you’ll come here?
“Of course.”
www.samhainpublishing.com
39
Chapter Five
“Vid me if you need to talk, okay?” Del whispered in Riv’s ear as she gave him a hug goodbye. He had to practically bend in half to reach her, but he managed an extra squeeze of thanks.
“Enjoy the beach, hot stuff. Try not to burn your nose again.” He hefted his duffel and sauntered away from the rest of the crew as they fell to arguing over whether to eat or hit the beach first. Del had trembled her lip at Bin when she’d heard that Riv was taking leave to see his mum on Karibee, and now they were all docking for the weekend. He was still smirking over Bin’s choice of an alarmingly loud floral shirt.
The tram ride to the facility was quiet, a mercy from his rather loquacious countrymen, and when he got off at his stop he was pleased to find the streets cleaner than he remembered, and fewer bars on the windows.
“Hello. Can I help ya?” the nurse asked.
“Yes, I’m here to see Pryce Markham.”
She glanced down at her notebook, frowning slightly. “Is he a doctor or a patient?”
“Oh. Um, patient.” Riv winced. He’d never even thought about having to make the distinction. That, and it still didn’t seem right that Ducks was a patient at this facility, well-respected as it was. It implied that there was something wrong with him, that he needed to be somewhere.
“Yes, here he is.” Briskly businesslike now, she tapped the screen, waiting for a sheet of paper to slide out of the printer before pushing it across the counter to Riv. “He’s in the south wing, room 296.” She traced the path with a finger. “You need to go out the main doors at the end of the lobby and cross the courtyard. His room is towards the back of the building. It should take you about ten
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