down inside, I’m not sure if he’s capable of that. Hell, I’m not even sure if I am and I’m way more emotionally stable than he is.”
“Yeah. I can see that.” Zoey grinned as sarcasm dripped from her jest.
“Bite me, Zoey.”
“No thanks. Something tells me I’d have to get in line after Matthew and Jason for that privilege.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
Zoey shrugged. “I can’t tell you that. Besides, do you have to make a decision right this second? You’ve only been seeing Matthew a little more than a month. Can’t you hang in there until you sort out your emotions?”
“Actually I told Jason nothing could happen between us. It would be reckless and stupid. We’re partners. If we had sex and things fell apart, I wouldn’t just be risking some personal anguish. I’d lose my livelihood.”
“Then I’m confused. Why are you worried about what to do next? You’ve already solved your problem and chosen Matthew.”
Kristen didn’t respond. The lie wouldn’t come.
“Ah,” Zoey said, her face proving that she understood all too well. “Your brain chose. Your heart hasn’t.”
Kristen scoffed as she stood up. “Bah. Heart. You girls and your talk of love. I told you, that’s not part of this. It’s not my heart that wants Jason. It’s my body. Lately if he stands too close, it’s like this electrical current starts flowing between us. Next thing I know, I’m imagining the two of us in some pretty far out, kinky situations. I am so horny, it hurts.”
“Wow. That sounds so freaking hot. Something tells me Robbie’s getting lucky tonight. Maybe I should call and see how soon he can get home.”
Kristen lobbed a throw pillow at her friend’s head. “Bitch.”
Zoey caught the pillow and held it on her lap. “If you like Matthew well enough to keep dating him, maybe you should start adding a bit of the hot and heavy to that relationship. I mean if he’s the right guy for you, let him scratch your itch. That way it’ll take the edge off whenever you’re around Jason.”
It wasn’t bad advice, but Kristen wasn’t sure how to explain to her friend that she felt zero sexual attraction to Matthew. When she’d thought about what she wanted in a marriage, it was companionship, someone with compatible likes. Matthew was that man. They could talk for hours, they had the same interests, enjoyed the same restaurants and movies. He already owned a condo in Florida, for God’s sake.
But there was no passion, no spark. She’d told her friends that didn’t matter, but now she wasn’t so sure that was the case.
“I don’t want to rush things with Matthew just because of some silly attraction to Jason that will most likely disappear soon.”
“Then we’re back to what I said at first. Take some time. Stay away from Jason if you think it will help. Focus on building something with Matthew.”
Kristen knew it was sound advice. Unfortunately, it sounded like a dreadful, boring way to live. She’d had decades of uneventful. Suddenly life was exciting. She had something to look forward to when she woke up.
Zoey studied her face and frowned. “Forget what I just said.”
“What?”
“Kristen, you need to let go. Stop trying to control everything to make your life fit in neat, tidy boxes. If I’ve learned anything in the last few months, it’s that life is too damn short. And for the most part, we silly, weak humans waste the majority of it worrying about things that don’t matter. So do this. Figure out what will make you happy. And by happy, I don’t mean what makes sense or what’s convenient. Look around at the things that bring you joy, that make you laugh. Throw your energy into that instead of overthinking all this bullshit. Okay?”
Kristen nodded. She was right. Zoey had known exactly what to say. “You realize, at this rate, I’m probably doomed to live my entire life alone with only my vibrators for company.”
Zoey laughed. “Vibrators? Plural? How many
“Yeah. I can see that.” Zoey grinned as sarcasm dripped from her jest.
“Bite me, Zoey.”
“No thanks. Something tells me I’d have to get in line after Matthew and Jason for that privilege.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
Zoey shrugged. “I can’t tell you that. Besides, do you have to make a decision right this second? You’ve only been seeing Matthew a little more than a month. Can’t you hang in there until you sort out your emotions?”
“Actually I told Jason nothing could happen between us. It would be reckless and stupid. We’re partners. If we had sex and things fell apart, I wouldn’t just be risking some personal anguish. I’d lose my livelihood.”
“Then I’m confused. Why are you worried about what to do next? You’ve already solved your problem and chosen Matthew.”
Kristen didn’t respond. The lie wouldn’t come.
“Ah,” Zoey said, her face proving that she understood all too well. “Your brain chose. Your heart hasn’t.”
Kristen scoffed as she stood up. “Bah. Heart. You girls and your talk of love. I told you, that’s not part of this. It’s not my heart that wants Jason. It’s my body. Lately if he stands too close, it’s like this electrical current starts flowing between us. Next thing I know, I’m imagining the two of us in some pretty far out, kinky situations. I am so horny, it hurts.”
“Wow. That sounds so freaking hot. Something tells me Robbie’s getting lucky tonight. Maybe I should call and see how soon he can get home.”
Kristen lobbed a throw pillow at her friend’s head. “Bitch.”
Zoey caught the pillow and held it on her lap. “If you like Matthew well enough to keep dating him, maybe you should start adding a bit of the hot and heavy to that relationship. I mean if he’s the right guy for you, let him scratch your itch. That way it’ll take the edge off whenever you’re around Jason.”
It wasn’t bad advice, but Kristen wasn’t sure how to explain to her friend that she felt zero sexual attraction to Matthew. When she’d thought about what she wanted in a marriage, it was companionship, someone with compatible likes. Matthew was that man. They could talk for hours, they had the same interests, enjoyed the same restaurants and movies. He already owned a condo in Florida, for God’s sake.
But there was no passion, no spark. She’d told her friends that didn’t matter, but now she wasn’t so sure that was the case.
“I don’t want to rush things with Matthew just because of some silly attraction to Jason that will most likely disappear soon.”
“Then we’re back to what I said at first. Take some time. Stay away from Jason if you think it will help. Focus on building something with Matthew.”
Kristen knew it was sound advice. Unfortunately, it sounded like a dreadful, boring way to live. She’d had decades of uneventful. Suddenly life was exciting. She had something to look forward to when she woke up.
Zoey studied her face and frowned. “Forget what I just said.”
“What?”
“Kristen, you need to let go. Stop trying to control everything to make your life fit in neat, tidy boxes. If I’ve learned anything in the last few months, it’s that life is too damn short. And for the most part, we silly, weak humans waste the majority of it worrying about things that don’t matter. So do this. Figure out what will make you happy. And by happy, I don’t mean what makes sense or what’s convenient. Look around at the things that bring you joy, that make you laugh. Throw your energy into that instead of overthinking all this bullshit. Okay?”
Kristen nodded. She was right. Zoey had known exactly what to say. “You realize, at this rate, I’m probably doomed to live my entire life alone with only my vibrators for company.”
Zoey laughed. “Vibrators? Plural? How many
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