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Authors: Eleanor Roosevelt
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boarding school. My grandmother and I took him up to Groton. She seemed quite old and the real responsibility for this young brother was slipping rapidly from her hands into mine. She never again went to see him at school and I began to go up every term for a weekend, which was what all good parents were expected to do. I kept this up through the six years he was there, just as I was to do later for my own sons.
That autumn I moved to the old house on West 37th Street. Theoretically, my grandmother lived there too, but as a matter of fact she lived at Tivoli in a vain attempt to keep Vallie there and keep him sober as much as possible.
Pussie, my only unmarried aunt, and I lived together. She was no less beautiful than she had been when I was a child. She was just as popular, with just as many beaux, and several love affairs always devastating her emotions. She went the round of social dinners and dances as hard as any debutante.
Of course, my grandmother could do nothing about my “coming out,” but automatically my name was placed on everybody’s list. I was asked to all kinds of parties, but the first one I attended was an Assembly Ball, and I was taken by my cousins, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Parish, Jr.
My aunt, Mrs. Mortimer, had bought my clothes in Paris, and I imagine that I was well dressed, but there was absolutely nothing about me to attract anybody’s attention. I was tall, but I did not dance well. I had lost touch with the girls whom I had known before I went abroad, though afterwards I picked up some of my old relationships. I went into that ballroom not knowing one single man except Bob Ferguson, whom I had rarely seen since I went abroad, and Forbes Morgan, who was one of Pussie’s most ardent admirers.
I do not think I quite realized beforehand what utter agony it was going to be or I would never have had the courage to go. Bob Ferguson introduced a number of his friends but by no stretch of the imagination could I fool myself into thinking that I was a popular debutante!
I went home early, thankful to get away, having learned that before I went to any party or to any dance I should have two partners, one for supper and one for the cotillion. Any girl who was a success would be asked by many men and accepted the one whom she preferred at the moment. These partners were prerequisites, but you must also be chosen to dance every figure in the cotillion, and your popularity was gauged by the number of favors you took home. Pussie always had far more than I had! I knew I was the first girl in my mother’s family who was not a belle and, though I never acknowledged it to any of them at that time, I was deeply ashamed.
Later on, Mr. and Mrs. Mortimer gave a large theater party and supper, with dancing afterwards, for me at Sherry’s, which was the most fashionable restaurant in those days. This helped to give me a sense that I had done my share of entertaining, and for one night I stood and received with my aunt and had no anxieties. Pussie and I together gave a few luncheons and dinners that winter at the 37th Street house.
Gradually I acquired a few friends, and finally going out lost some of its terrors; but that first winter, when my sole object in life was society, nearly brought me to a state of nervous collapse. I had other things, however, on my mind. I ran the house as far as it was run by anyone, for Pussie was even more temperamental than she had been as a young girl, and her love affairs were becoming more serious. There would be days when she would shut herself in her room, refusing to eat and spending hours weeping.
Occasionally Vallie would come to the house for one purpose and one alone: to go on a real spree. Pussie was no better equipped to cope with this difficulty than I was. In fact, not having any other vital interests, I had more time to handle this situation and a certain kind of strength and determination which underlay my timidity must have begun to make itself felt, for I think I
That autumn I moved to the old house on West 37th Street. Theoretically, my grandmother lived there too, but as a matter of fact she lived at Tivoli in a vain attempt to keep Vallie there and keep him sober as much as possible.
Pussie, my only unmarried aunt, and I lived together. She was no less beautiful than she had been when I was a child. She was just as popular, with just as many beaux, and several love affairs always devastating her emotions. She went the round of social dinners and dances as hard as any debutante.
Of course, my grandmother could do nothing about my “coming out,” but automatically my name was placed on everybody’s list. I was asked to all kinds of parties, but the first one I attended was an Assembly Ball, and I was taken by my cousins, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Parish, Jr.
My aunt, Mrs. Mortimer, had bought my clothes in Paris, and I imagine that I was well dressed, but there was absolutely nothing about me to attract anybody’s attention. I was tall, but I did not dance well. I had lost touch with the girls whom I had known before I went abroad, though afterwards I picked up some of my old relationships. I went into that ballroom not knowing one single man except Bob Ferguson, whom I had rarely seen since I went abroad, and Forbes Morgan, who was one of Pussie’s most ardent admirers.
I do not think I quite realized beforehand what utter agony it was going to be or I would never have had the courage to go. Bob Ferguson introduced a number of his friends but by no stretch of the imagination could I fool myself into thinking that I was a popular debutante!
I went home early, thankful to get away, having learned that before I went to any party or to any dance I should have two partners, one for supper and one for the cotillion. Any girl who was a success would be asked by many men and accepted the one whom she preferred at the moment. These partners were prerequisites, but you must also be chosen to dance every figure in the cotillion, and your popularity was gauged by the number of favors you took home. Pussie always had far more than I had! I knew I was the first girl in my mother’s family who was not a belle and, though I never acknowledged it to any of them at that time, I was deeply ashamed.
Later on, Mr. and Mrs. Mortimer gave a large theater party and supper, with dancing afterwards, for me at Sherry’s, which was the most fashionable restaurant in those days. This helped to give me a sense that I had done my share of entertaining, and for one night I stood and received with my aunt and had no anxieties. Pussie and I together gave a few luncheons and dinners that winter at the 37th Street house.
Gradually I acquired a few friends, and finally going out lost some of its terrors; but that first winter, when my sole object in life was society, nearly brought me to a state of nervous collapse. I had other things, however, on my mind. I ran the house as far as it was run by anyone, for Pussie was even more temperamental than she had been as a young girl, and her love affairs were becoming more serious. There would be days when she would shut herself in her room, refusing to eat and spending hours weeping.
Occasionally Vallie would come to the house for one purpose and one alone: to go on a real spree. Pussie was no better equipped to cope with this difficulty than I was. In fact, not having any other vital interests, I had more time to handle this situation and a certain kind of strength and determination which underlay my timidity must have begun to make itself felt, for I think I
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