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had collected earlier. That was my backup plan for ensuring Jimmy could do the switch with no audience. Open a bag of doggy poo, and wait until people got out of the place. Then he could do the switch. Nothing clears a room faster than a bad smell. Who cared if they thought it was caused by a little old man who couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time?
    I smiled, remembering the bad smell in the west gallery. It had done the trick!
    This bag smelled fine. I wiggled the plastic down the sides of the frame so I could double-check that it was the right painting. The lady with the three boobies. Phew! What a relief.
    I took a second to breathe deep. We’d done it! We’d just pulled off the coolest switch in the history of The Hammer. Even better, I had fulfilled the terms of Great-Uncle Seb’s will.
    I turned around to check for Nico and smucked into a human wall.

THIRTEEN
    â€œI ’ll take that, Gina,” Joey said. He easily wrenched the painting from my hands.
    I stared at the big guy, in shock.
    â€œWhat the hell are you doing?” I said, pushing hair out of my eyes.
    â€œYou get Seb’s money. Seems only fair I get the picture.”
    â€œIt isn’t real,” I said, shaking my head. “I already did the switch.”
    â€œIt’s real enough to fool a buyer,” said Joey.
    I stood for a moment with my mouth open. Then I shrugged. This could be good. Joey could keep the fake and I would be rid of the…evidence.
    â€œKnock yourself out then. I don’t want it.” I straightened. It was off my hands. Yay! He could do whatever he wanted with the thing.
    â€œDo you want a parrot too?” A breathless Nico came up beside me. Lainy followed him, with Pete in her wake.
    Nico was carrying a heavy cotton sack. It wiggled a lot. He had to fight with both hands to keep it closed.
    â€œSo help me God, if you bite me one more time, you are parrot stew!” Nico shrieked at the sack.
    â€œPauly want a quickie,” the bag squawked.
    â€œGina, I can’t take it anymore. I’m starting to channel John Cleese. OUCH!”
    â€œWe have to figure out how to reward that bird. It did a stellar job today,” I reminded him. That parrot had just helped me earn a huge inheritance. And Nico didn’t know it yet, but some of the money would be his.
    â€œThe rest of you did a super job too,” I added. “I can’t thank you enough.”
    â€œYou can thank me by taking this sadistic parrot off my hands.” Nico sounded frazzled.
    â€œIt’s sad,” said Lainy. Her voice had a lilt. “Poor thing is probably just lonely.”
    â€œMaybe he needs a lady bird,” said Joey.
    â€œI’ll take the bird if you don’t want it, Nico,” Lainy offered. “I can use it in my road show.”
    â€œLainy McSwain and the Lonesome Parrot?” quipped Pete.
    â€œNo, wait. Lainy, I just got an idea,” said Nico. His face lit up with excitement. “We could run a contest to find a mate for the wretched thing. Think of the publicity. In fact, I’ve been thinking of this theme for my store, so if we shoot a promo there—”
    While they were busy discussing parrot business, I walked a few steps away and called Sammy.
    â€œMission accomplished,” I said into the phone. “I fulfilled the terms of the will.”
    â€œGood work, sugar. Ol’ Seb would be proud. Just a sec.”
    I waited. I could hear Aunt Miriam’s voice in the background.
    Sammy came back on the line. “Sorry, gotta run. I have to get Paulo to bail your Bronx cousin out of the cop shop.”
    Holy cannoli. “Carmine? What did he do?”
    â€œApparently, he got caught passing funny fives. Imagine that.”
    The Canton counterfeits? I gulped. “Where’d he pick up something like that?”
    Sammy chuckled. “At a poker game. You might want to have a talk with that man of yours. He has potential.