therefore, is to examine the variety of mental states that we experience. We need to clearly identify different mental states and make a distinction, classifying them according to whether they lead to happiness or not.â
âCan you give some specific examples of different mental states and describe how you would classify them?â I asked.
The Dalai Lama explained, âNow for instance, hatred, jealousy, anger, and so on are harmful. We consider them negative states of mind because they destroy our mental happiness ; once you harbor feelings of hatred or ill feeling towards someone, once you yourself are filled by hatred or negative emotions, then other people appear to you as also hostile. So as a result there is more fear, greater inhibition and hesitation, and a sense of insecurity. These things develop, and also loneliness in the midst of a world perceived as hostile. All these negative feelings develop because of hatred. On the other hand, mental states such as kindness and compassion are definitely very positive. They are very useful ...â
âIâm just curious,â I interrupted. âYou mention that there are thousands of different states of mind. What would be your definition of a psychologically healthy or well-adjusted person? We might use such a definition as a guideline in determining which mental states to cultivate and which ones to eliminate.â
He laughed, then with his characteristic humility he responded, âAs a psychiatrist, you might have a better definition of a psychologically healthy person.â
âBut I mean from your standpoint.â
âWell, I would regard a compassionate, warm, kindhearted person as healthy. If you maintain a feeling of compassion, loving kindness, then something automatically opens your inner door. Through that, you can communicate much more easily with other people. And that feeling of warmth creates a kind of openness. Youâll find that all human beings are just like you, so youâll be able to relate to them more easily. That gives you a spirit of friendship. Then thereâs less need to hide things, and as a result, feelings of fear, self-doubt, and insecurity are automatically dispelled. Also, it creates a feeling of trust from other people. Otherwise, for example, you might find someone who is very competent, and you know that you can trust that personâs competence. But if you sense that person is not kind, then you have to hold something back. You feel thatâOh, I know that person can do things, but can I really trust him?â so you will always have a certain apprehension which creates a kind of distance from him.
âSo, anyway, I think that cultivating positive mental states like kindness and compassion definitely leads to better psychological health and happiness.â
MENTAL DISCIPLINE
As he spoke, I found something very appealing about the Dalai Lamaâs approach to achieving happiness. It was absolutely practical and rational: Identify and cultivate positive mental states ; identify and eliminate negative mental states. Although his suggestion to begin by systematically analyzing the variety of mental states that we experience initially struck me as being a bit dry, I gradually became carried away by the force of his logic and reasoning. And I liked the fact that rather than classifying mental states, emotions, or desires on the basis of some externally imposed moral judgment such as âGreed is a sinâ or âHatred is evil,â he categorizes emotions as positive or negative simply on the basis of whether they lead to our ultimate happiness.
Resuming our conversation the next afternoon, I asked, âIf happiness is simply a matter of cultivating more positive mental states like kindness and so on, why are so many people unhappy?â
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