Read Online The Anniversary Party by Sommer Marsden - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sommer Marsden
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Wade thumbed it away.
"Just let me get it all out, okay? Then you can ... whatever you want. Throw me out, hit me, kill me.” He laughed.
Her eyes met his and she nodded.
"When we were apart, I lost my mind. Cliché but true. I didn't care about anything. Not school, not football, nothing. My grades dropped in those few weeks and every college professor I had approached me and asked if everything was alright. They weren't the only ones to approach me."
"Jolene?"
"Yes. She'd been saying things off and on. Trying to remind me of all the fun we'd had together in high school before you and I started dating. Of course, I always turned her down flat. I was happy with you, Kylie,” he said, taking her hands and squeezing them, “happier than I thought possible. When we broke up I ... gave up. Jolene smelled weakness and came in for the kill. It was my fault too, of course. I should have said no. I knew I wanted us back together more than anything."
"So what happened?” He watched her bite her lip to stop the words.
"We spent about a week together.” Wade forced himself to look her in the eye. “Together ... in all respects.” When Kylie bowed her head he thought his heart would break. The tears that had only been threatening now starting to fall. “Kylie?” Goddamn, he knew this would be hard, but he had no idea how hard.
"We could have gotten past that, Wade.” Her body shook slightly as she cried and Wade smoothed her shoulders, rubbed her back. He would give anything to make her feel better. To turn back time and not screw things up so thoroughly.
"Let me just get this out,” he said. Standing, he paced. It was the only thing that calmed his nerves. He eyed Kylie. Most of her hair had spilled from her clip and she shielded her face behind the auburn fall. “Right after you and I got back together, I was happy again. On cloud nine. My grades started to go back up, my football game improved. I was at peace . I was right where I knew I should be. Back with you and back on track for the life we had planned together. I was still struggling with whether or not to tell you about Jolene. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for you and not for myself."
"For yourself?” Kylie snapped, the first hint of anger seeping into her voice. Wade was saddened by the sound. At one point, the only thing he had inspired in Kylie was happiness and laughter.
"I wanted to make sure I wasn't confessing to ease my own guilt. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to risk losing you again but the guilt was killing me. I know it sounds like bullshit, Ky, but I was a kid. It's no excuse, but when you're twenty, it's rare that you know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to mistakes that colossal. Hell, sometimes I don't feel like I can figure it out now let alone at that age."
"I still don't understand why you had to run off,” she said. “Why not just not tell me and go on with your life? With me."
"About a week before I decided to go, Jolene called and said she was late."
He watched the confusion on her face quickly bleed into a sickening understanding. “She was pregnant?"
"So she said. She was pregnant, I was the father. What was I going to do about it?” The need to touch her became overwhelming. Wade sank down and settled his hands on her hips. If she pushed him away, so be it. He had to at least try. Somehow, touching Kylie grounded him, helped him to think clearly. She didn't push him away, or even try to move, she simply pinned him with her gaze. There was so much in that gaze that made him feel ashamed and small. But also, so much in her eyes that gave him just the barest hint of hope. And that was all he asked. The smallest glimmer of possibility.
"I didn't see a way out. She said she was keeping the baby. Tried to get me to marry her ... but I couldn't. I told her I'd take responsibility for my child but I wouldn't get married. I couldn't marry a woman I didn't love. I'd never dreamed of marrying anyone but
"Just let me get it all out, okay? Then you can ... whatever you want. Throw me out, hit me, kill me.” He laughed.
Her eyes met his and she nodded.
"When we were apart, I lost my mind. Cliché but true. I didn't care about anything. Not school, not football, nothing. My grades dropped in those few weeks and every college professor I had approached me and asked if everything was alright. They weren't the only ones to approach me."
"Jolene?"
"Yes. She'd been saying things off and on. Trying to remind me of all the fun we'd had together in high school before you and I started dating. Of course, I always turned her down flat. I was happy with you, Kylie,” he said, taking her hands and squeezing them, “happier than I thought possible. When we broke up I ... gave up. Jolene smelled weakness and came in for the kill. It was my fault too, of course. I should have said no. I knew I wanted us back together more than anything."
"So what happened?” He watched her bite her lip to stop the words.
"We spent about a week together.” Wade forced himself to look her in the eye. “Together ... in all respects.” When Kylie bowed her head he thought his heart would break. The tears that had only been threatening now starting to fall. “Kylie?” Goddamn, he knew this would be hard, but he had no idea how hard.
"We could have gotten past that, Wade.” Her body shook slightly as she cried and Wade smoothed her shoulders, rubbed her back. He would give anything to make her feel better. To turn back time and not screw things up so thoroughly.
"Let me just get this out,” he said. Standing, he paced. It was the only thing that calmed his nerves. He eyed Kylie. Most of her hair had spilled from her clip and she shielded her face behind the auburn fall. “Right after you and I got back together, I was happy again. On cloud nine. My grades started to go back up, my football game improved. I was at peace . I was right where I knew I should be. Back with you and back on track for the life we had planned together. I was still struggling with whether or not to tell you about Jolene. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for you and not for myself."
"For yourself?” Kylie snapped, the first hint of anger seeping into her voice. Wade was saddened by the sound. At one point, the only thing he had inspired in Kylie was happiness and laughter.
"I wanted to make sure I wasn't confessing to ease my own guilt. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to risk losing you again but the guilt was killing me. I know it sounds like bullshit, Ky, but I was a kid. It's no excuse, but when you're twenty, it's rare that you know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to mistakes that colossal. Hell, sometimes I don't feel like I can figure it out now let alone at that age."
"I still don't understand why you had to run off,” she said. “Why not just not tell me and go on with your life? With me."
"About a week before I decided to go, Jolene called and said she was late."
He watched the confusion on her face quickly bleed into a sickening understanding. “She was pregnant?"
"So she said. She was pregnant, I was the father. What was I going to do about it?” The need to touch her became overwhelming. Wade sank down and settled his hands on her hips. If she pushed him away, so be it. He had to at least try. Somehow, touching Kylie grounded him, helped him to think clearly. She didn't push him away, or even try to move, she simply pinned him with her gaze. There was so much in that gaze that made him feel ashamed and small. But also, so much in her eyes that gave him just the barest hint of hope. And that was all he asked. The smallest glimmer of possibility.
"I didn't see a way out. She said she was keeping the baby. Tried to get me to marry her ... but I couldn't. I told her I'd take responsibility for my child but I wouldn't get married. I couldn't marry a woman I didn't love. I'd never dreamed of marrying anyone but
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