Read Online The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Fannie Flagg
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wasn’t just like her, because I wasn’t just like her! And now, thanks to her, I’ve been a card-carrying member of the Daughters of the Confederacy since I was sixteen, and I’m not even a Southerner.I’m a Yankee. And, Dena … here’s the worst part,” she sobbed. “I’m not even a Kappa.”
“What do you mean? Of course, you’re a Kappa.”
“No, I’m not. I’m a fraud. I can’t go to the Kappa reunion. I’ll just have to resign. The only reason I got in was because I was a legacy through Lenore. I’ll have to turn in my pin and everything.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Sookie, you’re a Kappa because everyone loved you. I went through rush with you, remember?”
But Sookie wasn’t listening and continued to ramble on. “Oh, my God. I even made my debut at the Selma Country Club under false pretenses. I told Lenore I didn’t want to be a debutante, and she went ahead and let me make a fool of myself. What will people think when they find out I’m not a Krackenberry or a Simmons—that I’m an illegitimate Yankee Polish orphan?”
“Wait a minute. What makes you think you are illegitimate?”
“Because … it’s written on my birth certificate: father unknown.”
“Oh … well, Sookie, people don’t really care about that kind of thing, anymore.”
“Well, I do. I’ll feel like an imposter, like some kind of social climber. Oh, I could just die of shame. I’m looking at myself in the mirror right now, and I have turned beet red with shame.”
“But why, Sookie? You didn’t do anything wrong. What are you ashamed about?”
“Because you know me, I have always prided myself on being honest and open and then to find out you are a fraud—that your entire life has been one big lie? I can never hold my head up again. I’m sure I need serious medication. I’m probably having a psychic break right now. Is Gerry at home? I might need him to send me some pills. How much are they?”
“Oh, Sookie, honey, you’re not having a psychic break. You’ve had a shock. That’s all. I’m shocked. It’s understandable that you are upset. I mean, my God … who wouldn’t be? What does Earle think?”
“Oh, he’s being very sweet about it … but I’ll tell you who is going to have a fit when she finds out: Dee Dee. She’s always running out to the cemetery to help decorate Great-Granddaddy Simmons’sgrave … and then to find out the man is a total stranger. Oh, my God. And Dena, no wonder I didn’t get Lenore’s nose. I didn’t get Daddy’s nose, either. I got a total stranger’s nose. I don’t know why I thought I looked just like Daddy. I went through the photo albums last night, and I don’t look a thing like any of them. I didn’t get the Simmons foot. I got the Jaberwisnski’s foot!”
“Well, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. I just feel all wicky-wacky. I’m just thrown for a loop and back. I can’t even think about what to do. What can I do at this late date? I should have been told this when I was six, not sixty. All those Polish people I’m related to are probably all dead by now. And who would name their child Ginger? We had a golden retriever named Ginger. Anyhow, it’s very upsetting.”
“I know it is. And as upsetting as it is right now, you always told me you never wanted to be like your mother, and you’re really not. Isn’t that kind of good news?”
“That’s what Earle said. And I guess it is, but right now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. Why couldn’t I be a year younger? But no. Yesterday, I was only fifty-nine, and today, I’m already sixty, going on sixty-one! No wonder I look so old and tired. I am! I’m the world’s oldest living orphan. Oh, God, how embarrassing. I feel like walking out and jumping off the end of the pier.”
“Sookie, do you want me to come down there and be with you? I will. Just say the word.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet, but no, there’s nothing anybody can do. I’ll
“What do you mean? Of course, you’re a Kappa.”
“No, I’m not. I’m a fraud. I can’t go to the Kappa reunion. I’ll just have to resign. The only reason I got in was because I was a legacy through Lenore. I’ll have to turn in my pin and everything.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Sookie, you’re a Kappa because everyone loved you. I went through rush with you, remember?”
But Sookie wasn’t listening and continued to ramble on. “Oh, my God. I even made my debut at the Selma Country Club under false pretenses. I told Lenore I didn’t want to be a debutante, and she went ahead and let me make a fool of myself. What will people think when they find out I’m not a Krackenberry or a Simmons—that I’m an illegitimate Yankee Polish orphan?”
“Wait a minute. What makes you think you are illegitimate?”
“Because … it’s written on my birth certificate: father unknown.”
“Oh … well, Sookie, people don’t really care about that kind of thing, anymore.”
“Well, I do. I’ll feel like an imposter, like some kind of social climber. Oh, I could just die of shame. I’m looking at myself in the mirror right now, and I have turned beet red with shame.”
“But why, Sookie? You didn’t do anything wrong. What are you ashamed about?”
“Because you know me, I have always prided myself on being honest and open and then to find out you are a fraud—that your entire life has been one big lie? I can never hold my head up again. I’m sure I need serious medication. I’m probably having a psychic break right now. Is Gerry at home? I might need him to send me some pills. How much are they?”
“Oh, Sookie, honey, you’re not having a psychic break. You’ve had a shock. That’s all. I’m shocked. It’s understandable that you are upset. I mean, my God … who wouldn’t be? What does Earle think?”
“Oh, he’s being very sweet about it … but I’ll tell you who is going to have a fit when she finds out: Dee Dee. She’s always running out to the cemetery to help decorate Great-Granddaddy Simmons’sgrave … and then to find out the man is a total stranger. Oh, my God. And Dena, no wonder I didn’t get Lenore’s nose. I didn’t get Daddy’s nose, either. I got a total stranger’s nose. I don’t know why I thought I looked just like Daddy. I went through the photo albums last night, and I don’t look a thing like any of them. I didn’t get the Simmons foot. I got the Jaberwisnski’s foot!”
“Well, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. I just feel all wicky-wacky. I’m just thrown for a loop and back. I can’t even think about what to do. What can I do at this late date? I should have been told this when I was six, not sixty. All those Polish people I’m related to are probably all dead by now. And who would name their child Ginger? We had a golden retriever named Ginger. Anyhow, it’s very upsetting.”
“I know it is. And as upsetting as it is right now, you always told me you never wanted to be like your mother, and you’re really not. Isn’t that kind of good news?”
“That’s what Earle said. And I guess it is, but right now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. Why couldn’t I be a year younger? But no. Yesterday, I was only fifty-nine, and today, I’m already sixty, going on sixty-one! No wonder I look so old and tired. I am! I’m the world’s oldest living orphan. Oh, God, how embarrassing. I feel like walking out and jumping off the end of the pier.”
“Sookie, do you want me to come down there and be with you? I will. Just say the word.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet, but no, there’s nothing anybody can do. I’ll
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