Read Online The Agent by Brock E. Deskins - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Brock E. Deskins
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consider sharing them?”
“I considered it. I just didn’t think you would want any.”
“I’m starving! Why would you think I wouldn’t want any?”
“I don’t know; I just figured you were too much of a snob for such a simple fair.”
“I am not a snob, and I am so hungry I would probably pick them out of deer crap and eat them.”
Garran opened the mouth of the bag. “Suit yourself. Grab a handful. I have plenty.”
Adam reached into the bag, jerked his hand away, and jumped back. “You are disgusting! What is wrong with you?”
Garran laughed uproariously as he pulled the other end of the sack out of his breaches and laced himself back up. “I thought you wanted some nuts?”
“I am quite certain those have gone rancid.” Adam wiped his hand on his shirt. “God, it was like reaching into a nest of baby birds.”
“Yeah, they must have been woodpeckers!”
“You are beyond doubt the most disturbed person I have ever met. Why would you want another man to touch your genitals?”
“You mean beyond the obvious hilarity?”
“It is far from obvious,” Adam countered.
“You’re such a prude. Besides, it’s your fault. You shouldn’t have thrown out my liquor.”
“Are you telling me that your only recourse to not intoxicating yourself is to trick someone into fondling you?”
“When there is a lack of prostitutes, yeah.” Garran grinned. “Plus, you have soft hands, and mine are so calloused.”
“You have a rather singular mentality.”
“That’s not true. I can use either hand.”
“That is not—” Adam saw the grin plastered across Garran’s face. “You know precisely what I mean, and I will not let you make me the target of your sport.”
“You priests, so afraid of a dangle. That’s probably why you take all those stupid vows.”
“Please, that thing couldn’t scare a child.”
“Hey, this thing has scared plenty of children!”
Adam stopped walking and stared, his mouth agape.
Garran rolled his eyes. “Like you’ve never had a trouser failure while walking by a primary school. And when the fresh air excites your crabs, I dare you not to scratch—vigorously!”
“I absolutely have not, and I do not know of anyone who ever has.”
“You sound just as uptight as the constable who kept arresting me.”
“This happened more than once?”
Garran dropped his eyes to the ground. “Three times, but who’s counting…other than the constable. It was on the route to my favorite bar and brothel! You know what; I bet that’s where I got the crabs.”
“That is possibly the worst thing I have ever heard.”
“I know, right? Was he a constable or a mathematician? Pick one and stick with it!”
“You are a habitual deviant.”
Garran scowled. “You’re a bitch! See, not so nice being called names.”
Adam groaned into his palm. “I didn’t call you a…bad name. I said you were habitual, meaning you repeat the same behavior.”
“Regardless, not all of us are princes who can afford high quality trousers with laces that don’t inexplicably fail—habitually.”
“You do not need a nobleman’s wealth to avoid exposing yourself to children!”
Garran shrugged. “Consider it a free lesson in biology.”
Adam walked away and scoffed. “Microbiology maybe.”
“I heard that!” Garran snapped as he hastened after Adam. “I didn’t think priests were allowed to be so hurtful.”
“I have taken no vows against it, and I am certain there are exceptions for people like you for those who have.”
“You certainly seem to be making an extra effort.”
Adam sighed and nodded. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I am distraught, I feel completely lost, and you are so…”
“Awesome?”
“Disturbing. I do not know what I am doing out here, and your every action makes me wonder if you do either.”
“Look, I know how I am, and I know it bothers most people, but I do know what I am doing. Did you know I made prefect in my first month at the
“I considered it. I just didn’t think you would want any.”
“I’m starving! Why would you think I wouldn’t want any?”
“I don’t know; I just figured you were too much of a snob for such a simple fair.”
“I am not a snob, and I am so hungry I would probably pick them out of deer crap and eat them.”
Garran opened the mouth of the bag. “Suit yourself. Grab a handful. I have plenty.”
Adam reached into the bag, jerked his hand away, and jumped back. “You are disgusting! What is wrong with you?”
Garran laughed uproariously as he pulled the other end of the sack out of his breaches and laced himself back up. “I thought you wanted some nuts?”
“I am quite certain those have gone rancid.” Adam wiped his hand on his shirt. “God, it was like reaching into a nest of baby birds.”
“Yeah, they must have been woodpeckers!”
“You are beyond doubt the most disturbed person I have ever met. Why would you want another man to touch your genitals?”
“You mean beyond the obvious hilarity?”
“It is far from obvious,” Adam countered.
“You’re such a prude. Besides, it’s your fault. You shouldn’t have thrown out my liquor.”
“Are you telling me that your only recourse to not intoxicating yourself is to trick someone into fondling you?”
“When there is a lack of prostitutes, yeah.” Garran grinned. “Plus, you have soft hands, and mine are so calloused.”
“You have a rather singular mentality.”
“That’s not true. I can use either hand.”
“That is not—” Adam saw the grin plastered across Garran’s face. “You know precisely what I mean, and I will not let you make me the target of your sport.”
“You priests, so afraid of a dangle. That’s probably why you take all those stupid vows.”
“Please, that thing couldn’t scare a child.”
“Hey, this thing has scared plenty of children!”
Adam stopped walking and stared, his mouth agape.
Garran rolled his eyes. “Like you’ve never had a trouser failure while walking by a primary school. And when the fresh air excites your crabs, I dare you not to scratch—vigorously!”
“I absolutely have not, and I do not know of anyone who ever has.”
“You sound just as uptight as the constable who kept arresting me.”
“This happened more than once?”
Garran dropped his eyes to the ground. “Three times, but who’s counting…other than the constable. It was on the route to my favorite bar and brothel! You know what; I bet that’s where I got the crabs.”
“That is possibly the worst thing I have ever heard.”
“I know, right? Was he a constable or a mathematician? Pick one and stick with it!”
“You are a habitual deviant.”
Garran scowled. “You’re a bitch! See, not so nice being called names.”
Adam groaned into his palm. “I didn’t call you a…bad name. I said you were habitual, meaning you repeat the same behavior.”
“Regardless, not all of us are princes who can afford high quality trousers with laces that don’t inexplicably fail—habitually.”
“You do not need a nobleman’s wealth to avoid exposing yourself to children!”
Garran shrugged. “Consider it a free lesson in biology.”
Adam walked away and scoffed. “Microbiology maybe.”
“I heard that!” Garran snapped as he hastened after Adam. “I didn’t think priests were allowed to be so hurtful.”
“I have taken no vows against it, and I am certain there are exceptions for people like you for those who have.”
“You certainly seem to be making an extra effort.”
Adam sighed and nodded. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I am distraught, I feel completely lost, and you are so…”
“Awesome?”
“Disturbing. I do not know what I am doing out here, and your every action makes me wonder if you do either.”
“Look, I know how I am, and I know it bothers most people, but I do know what I am doing. Did you know I made prefect in my first month at the
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