Read Online Tell Me No Secrets by Julie Corbin - Free Book Online Page B

Sometimes sunlit and benevolent, today it is brooding. Gloomy grey clouds cloak the ramparts, casting long shadows on to the jagged rocks below.
    I dodge a throng of tourists heading towards Princes Street Gardens and make a slow climb up Cockburn Street. My stomach grumbles and grinds, as if eating itself, but behind the anxiety I feel curious. I want to see her. I want to know what she’s been doing with herself for the last twenty-four years. And most of all, I want to know why she got in touch.
    I’m about ten feet away when I spot her, just inside the doorway. I’m surprised by how she looks. She isn’t wearing any make-up and her black curly hair is pulled back in a plain band highlighting the grey that spreads at her temples and forehead. Her clothes are simple – a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt, a navy blue cardigan and flat lace-up shoes. Up in the castle, the one o’clock gun goes off and it startles me so that I automatically step towards her and she sees me, calls my name, rushes forward and kisses me on both cheeks. She smells of lavender.
    â€˜You look wonderful,’ she tells me, standing back and holding on to my elbows.
    We are the same height and our eyes are level; hers are deep brown, almost black, like cocoa-rich chocolate.
    â€˜You haven’t aged a bit.’ She laughs, looks me up and down and shakes her head. ‘Adult life suits you, Grace. Come!’ She gestures behind her and starts to walk backwards, almost tripping over a chair leg. ‘I’ve bagged us a table in the corner here.’
    We sit down. I feel happy, sad, nervous, but most of all I feel awkward. She looks so much like herself and yet the spark is missing. Even at fifteen she was glamorous, mischievous, sexy. Boys trailed behind her, bug-eyed and tongue-tied, and she would flash them smiles so sultry, so promising, that they would melt into puddles of hormones.
    She takes a breath, holds on to it as she looks at me, then lets it out slowly. ‘It’s so good to see you! I’ve thought of you such a lot over the years.’ Her eyes grow wistful and then warm again. ‘Do you have any family photos with you?’
    I haven’t spoken yet and now all I can do is shake my head. I don’t know how to articulate my way past the strangeness.
    â€˜Well, never mind. Hopefully, I’ll be able to come up and meet them in person sometime soon.’ She gives me a playful smile. ‘Let’s play catch-up. Last twenty-odd years.’ She leans her elbows on the table and her chin on her hands. ‘Start wherever you want.’
    Her stare is piercing and I pick up the menu to occupy my eyes while I think of a reply but before I have a chance to read it, she snatches it from me and says, ‘I’ve ordered for us. I hope you don’t mind.’
    I do mind. It’s presumptuous of her. She has automatically assumed the right to make decisions for me, just as she did when we were children. It ignites an irritation in me. It’s a small flame but hot enough to power me past my silence and into speech. ‘You ordered for both of us?’
    â€˜I didn’t want to waste any time. The food can take a while to come. You know how it is in these little places; they can’t always afford enough staff.’
    I sit back and look pointedly around the room. There are a dozen tables and three waitresses. I debate with myself whether to take a stand and insist on choosing my own lunch but decide not to. It will only delay matters and I want to get to the crux of the meeting as soon as possible.
    â€˜So how have you been?’ I say.
    â€˜Good.’ She gives me a Gallic shrug that reminds me of her mother. ‘I’ve lived all over, kept myself busy. Nothing as meaningful as having babies. So tell me! I know you have at least one daughter. Any more children?’
    â€˜So you’ve spent the last twenty-four years on the move? That’s a long