Read Online Teaching the Dog to Read by Jonathan Carroll - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jonathan Carroll
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Fischman and Gorbog on the other. Gorbog was naked except for a filthy tattered loincloth and a seriously hirsute body and head. When he stood he wasn’t tall but if you told people he was a yeti, many would believe you by the look of him. He spoke in a definite language but to the two Tonys it only sounded like a variety of different toned guttural grunts. Fischman had to translate everything he said, not that it was much.
“What did she do ? Why are we here? Will someone please tell me what happened to me? To us? ” Tony Day looked at his other self, ashamed for not having included him.
Gorbog made a stern face and punched Fischman on the arm, wanting to know what the hairless one had said. Gorbog knew who Tony Day was but didn’t like what he saw of his future self. He didn’t like Fischman either but at least that hairless one could speak his language. Len translated what Tony had said and the caveman grumpily grunted his agreement. All four men wanted to know what had happened half an hour before. Why was some alien, not quite right version of themselves sitting comfortably and in love with Lena Schabort in the other room while the real thems sat out here in the hall scratching their heads.
No one said anything for a while. They all sat there looking glum and confused while they watched nurses and patients pass by. Of course none of the people could see these four. The two Tonys didn’t understand it either because unlike Gorbog and Len Fischman, they weren’t dead. Proof of that was a few feet away in room 17 where some new version of Anthony Areal was alive and being adored by a desirable woman. None of this made sense but that’s what happens when from one minute to the next you’re sort of not here anymore.
The door at the end of the long hall opened and a big husky man with short reddish hair came moseying down towards them. He carried a large plastic bag in one hand. He wore a blue shirt with dave written on a patch over his breast. Tony Day thought he must be one of the hospital workers until the man came right over and sat next to Gorbog.
“What’s up, fellas? Anyone here hungry? I am.”
The four men, by now used to being invisible to the hospital’s passing parade, looked at each other. This guy sees us?
Dave opened the bag and peered inside. “I’ve got two pastramis with coleslaw and Russian dressing for the Tonys, a Reuben for me, and a meatball sub for Len. That’s your favorite, right?” Turning to Gorbog, he spoke a few guttural grunts the yeti seemed to understand. “Okay then, let’s hit it.” Dave passed around the sandwiches and lastly took out a large hunk of what appeared to be scorched-black meat. Gorbog snatched it from him and buried his mouth in it. The other three men held the sandwiches in their hands and watched their ancestor noisily devour a lump of twenty thousand year old burnt something.
While eating, all of them kept looking at Dave to see if he was going to say anything. But he seemed content to silently devour his jumbo Reuben sandwich and stare at his feet while chewing. Dave considered eating a form of meditation and if it had been up to him, he would have eaten all of his meals alone. But that’s not how it worked with this job.
One Tony turned to the other and said in frustration under his breath, “This is fucked up .”
“The sandwich?”
“No—this situation!”
That got Dave’s attention. He sighed, knowing he had to talk now. “When she was eighteen, Lena tried to kill herself. She should have died but Alice didn’t want that to happen so she saved her.”
“Alice?” Tony Day interrupted. That name at this moment was like an electric shock to him.
Dave nodded, then said be quiet and listen. “When Lena recovered, Alice asked why she did it? The girl said she was lonely and afraid she’d never find a man who really loved her and wanted to be with her forever. So Alice being Alice made the girl an offer: whenever Lena found the man
“What did she do ? Why are we here? Will someone please tell me what happened to me? To us? ” Tony Day looked at his other self, ashamed for not having included him.
Gorbog made a stern face and punched Fischman on the arm, wanting to know what the hairless one had said. Gorbog knew who Tony Day was but didn’t like what he saw of his future self. He didn’t like Fischman either but at least that hairless one could speak his language. Len translated what Tony had said and the caveman grumpily grunted his agreement. All four men wanted to know what had happened half an hour before. Why was some alien, not quite right version of themselves sitting comfortably and in love with Lena Schabort in the other room while the real thems sat out here in the hall scratching their heads.
No one said anything for a while. They all sat there looking glum and confused while they watched nurses and patients pass by. Of course none of the people could see these four. The two Tonys didn’t understand it either because unlike Gorbog and Len Fischman, they weren’t dead. Proof of that was a few feet away in room 17 where some new version of Anthony Areal was alive and being adored by a desirable woman. None of this made sense but that’s what happens when from one minute to the next you’re sort of not here anymore.
The door at the end of the long hall opened and a big husky man with short reddish hair came moseying down towards them. He carried a large plastic bag in one hand. He wore a blue shirt with dave written on a patch over his breast. Tony Day thought he must be one of the hospital workers until the man came right over and sat next to Gorbog.
“What’s up, fellas? Anyone here hungry? I am.”
The four men, by now used to being invisible to the hospital’s passing parade, looked at each other. This guy sees us?
Dave opened the bag and peered inside. “I’ve got two pastramis with coleslaw and Russian dressing for the Tonys, a Reuben for me, and a meatball sub for Len. That’s your favorite, right?” Turning to Gorbog, he spoke a few guttural grunts the yeti seemed to understand. “Okay then, let’s hit it.” Dave passed around the sandwiches and lastly took out a large hunk of what appeared to be scorched-black meat. Gorbog snatched it from him and buried his mouth in it. The other three men held the sandwiches in their hands and watched their ancestor noisily devour a lump of twenty thousand year old burnt something.
While eating, all of them kept looking at Dave to see if he was going to say anything. But he seemed content to silently devour his jumbo Reuben sandwich and stare at his feet while chewing. Dave considered eating a form of meditation and if it had been up to him, he would have eaten all of his meals alone. But that’s not how it worked with this job.
One Tony turned to the other and said in frustration under his breath, “This is fucked up .”
“The sandwich?”
“No—this situation!”
That got Dave’s attention. He sighed, knowing he had to talk now. “When she was eighteen, Lena tried to kill herself. She should have died but Alice didn’t want that to happen so she saved her.”
“Alice?” Tony Day interrupted. That name at this moment was like an electric shock to him.
Dave nodded, then said be quiet and listen. “When Lena recovered, Alice asked why she did it? The girl said she was lonely and afraid she’d never find a man who really loved her and wanted to be with her forever. So Alice being Alice made the girl an offer: whenever Lena found the man
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