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Authors: Angela Zeman
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had brought the edges of his plan together…he’d gone to pick Alexia up from her job as a grocery store cashier. He remembered thinking as he’d stood to one side, watching her finish with the last customer of the day, how she was the object of his dreams, the future mother of his future children, the most breathtakingly beautiful female he’d ever seen in his life.
After pulling her jacket from under the counter and holding it for her, he’d swept her to his chest with one well-muscled arm. She’d giggled and squirmed out of his clutch. “Outside, Skip. Wait a second, will you?” he remembered her saying.
He’d yielded and followed her outside, but for the thousandth time he was dizzy with both bliss and despair as he watched her walk with dancing steps through the automatic doors.
When they reached his pickup truck, he opened the door for her. As she beamed at him, he remembered noticing how, when her pale hair moved in the cool breeze, it caught the light the same way that fishing line catches the sun on a sultry afternoon.
He’d driven her home, only letting her escape after ransoming herself with dozens of sweet-tasting, tender kisses. She’d whispered in his ear that she loved him, but by then he’d become so sunken in misery that he hardly heard her. Would he ever see her again? Only luck would decide.
After topping off his gas tank at the self-service station, he’d begun the trek to Atlantic City in New Jersey. He’d had plenty of time to think, then. To worry.
An apprentice carpenter’s salary was better than a gas station attendant’s, and he wouldn’t be an apprentice forever, but the fortunes of those in the building trades rose and fell with roller-coaster irregularity. What could he give her besides babies and bills and a sorry little house in mid-island? She only worked as a cashier now because she thought she was too old to be totally dependent on her parents. He certainly wouldn’t want her to keep working when the babies came.
She had soft hands, soft lips, a soft voice, and soft skin, like a princess. Skip had seen what a penny-pinching life took out of a woman. How it roughened their skin. Harshed-up their voices. Worry could squeeze the sweetness right out of a woman’s nature. He’d seen it happen to his mother. He wouldn’t risk that happening to his Alexia.
He remembered patting the rolled up savings that made a thick ball in his pocket before gripping the steering wheel with the white knuckled fists of determination.
Seven hours later, he’d found himself counting out with the house manager…twenty thousand, twenty thousand five hundred…in a voice hoarse from shouting at the dice, lack of sleep, and too many coffees alternated with whiskeys.
At the end of the count, he breathed deep to steady himself, then rolled it all up into four bundles which he shoved deep into his pockets. He walked out of the casino, across the boardwalk, onto the sand, then leaned against a piling and inhaled the salt air, ridding his lungs of stale smoke and bar fumes.
Fifty thousand dollars. His shocked elation made him dizzy—until he suddenly remembered Alexia’s last birthday present from her parents…the sticker price for that little convertible came to double what Skip paid in a year for his apartment. His precious goal, which for a few seconds he’d imagined won, slipped tortuously far from his grasp—again.
Fifty thousand dollars might seem a fortune to Skip, but to Alexia…he knew it wouldn’t be enough. He glanced swiftly up at the sky after that admission, ducking in case of retribution for ingratitude, because he’d lit a candle in church before coming.
Well—that’s it, he thought. And he meant it.
No longer despairing, feeling only numb from hopelessness, he walked off down the beach to work a few kinks out of his cramped muscles…in preparation for diving, once and forever, into the water that beckoned beyond the pilings.
And it was while he was walking that
After pulling her jacket from under the counter and holding it for her, he’d swept her to his chest with one well-muscled arm. She’d giggled and squirmed out of his clutch. “Outside, Skip. Wait a second, will you?” he remembered her saying.
He’d yielded and followed her outside, but for the thousandth time he was dizzy with both bliss and despair as he watched her walk with dancing steps through the automatic doors.
When they reached his pickup truck, he opened the door for her. As she beamed at him, he remembered noticing how, when her pale hair moved in the cool breeze, it caught the light the same way that fishing line catches the sun on a sultry afternoon.
He’d driven her home, only letting her escape after ransoming herself with dozens of sweet-tasting, tender kisses. She’d whispered in his ear that she loved him, but by then he’d become so sunken in misery that he hardly heard her. Would he ever see her again? Only luck would decide.
After topping off his gas tank at the self-service station, he’d begun the trek to Atlantic City in New Jersey. He’d had plenty of time to think, then. To worry.
An apprentice carpenter’s salary was better than a gas station attendant’s, and he wouldn’t be an apprentice forever, but the fortunes of those in the building trades rose and fell with roller-coaster irregularity. What could he give her besides babies and bills and a sorry little house in mid-island? She only worked as a cashier now because she thought she was too old to be totally dependent on her parents. He certainly wouldn’t want her to keep working when the babies came.
She had soft hands, soft lips, a soft voice, and soft skin, like a princess. Skip had seen what a penny-pinching life took out of a woman. How it roughened their skin. Harshed-up their voices. Worry could squeeze the sweetness right out of a woman’s nature. He’d seen it happen to his mother. He wouldn’t risk that happening to his Alexia.
He remembered patting the rolled up savings that made a thick ball in his pocket before gripping the steering wheel with the white knuckled fists of determination.
Seven hours later, he’d found himself counting out with the house manager…twenty thousand, twenty thousand five hundred…in a voice hoarse from shouting at the dice, lack of sleep, and too many coffees alternated with whiskeys.
At the end of the count, he breathed deep to steady himself, then rolled it all up into four bundles which he shoved deep into his pockets. He walked out of the casino, across the boardwalk, onto the sand, then leaned against a piling and inhaled the salt air, ridding his lungs of stale smoke and bar fumes.
Fifty thousand dollars. His shocked elation made him dizzy—until he suddenly remembered Alexia’s last birthday present from her parents…the sticker price for that little convertible came to double what Skip paid in a year for his apartment. His precious goal, which for a few seconds he’d imagined won, slipped tortuously far from his grasp—again.
Fifty thousand dollars might seem a fortune to Skip, but to Alexia…he knew it wouldn’t be enough. He glanced swiftly up at the sky after that admission, ducking in case of retribution for ingratitude, because he’d lit a candle in church before coming.
Well—that’s it, he thought. And he meant it.
No longer despairing, feeling only numb from hopelessness, he walked off down the beach to work a few kinks out of his cramped muscles…in preparation for diving, once and forever, into the water that beckoned beyond the pilings.
And it was while he was walking that
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