go and says, âSheâs been in longerân me. Sheâs clucking bad.â
I think Iâve mis-heard. âClucking?â I ask.
âComing off. They cut her dose more. Iâll be like her soon.â Mandy produces two apples and offers me one.
âWhere did you get them?â
âNicked from the kitchen.â
âJust now? Coming down the corridor?â
âBeen a professional shoplifter for eight bloody years, ought to be able to pick up a couple of apples when a doorâs open.â
Debs comes back from the toilet clutching a towel, and lies on her bed in her shoes. Brown ankle boots with a tiny sharp heel. âCome on, help me take my mind off it. All the sexy details.â
âThis is my life weâre talking about, not a peep show,â I protest, taking off my boots. The pounding in my head comes back when I bend over.
âYeah, but youâve lived it already,â says Mandy, âItâs past and gone, init? Canât hurt to run over it to give us a bit of entertainment.â
âItâs embarrassing. Itâs not something I normally talk about.â Particularly the next bit.
âWhatâs normal in here?â says Mandy. âAnyway, people are too stuck up about all that stuff. Everyone does it, donât they? Just too scared to talk about it.â She eyes me evenly. Her face is flat and indifferent. It isnât cold, but you get the sense that any feelings she has are wafting around the edge of her vision. Brushed aside like the odd flyaway strand of peroxide hair.
Dr Johnson once said of someone, âShe has some softness, indeed, but so has a pillow.â Mandy has some hardness, but so has a mountain rope.
I climb back onto my bed and decide to bite the bullet. âOK. So I was lying there in my bikini, and he was next to me. The gold neck chain he always wore was resting on his chest in a coil among the fair hairs. He seemed to be asleep. I drifted off again and my daydream mixed with a feeling that soft feathers seemed to be trailing over my body. Rivers of sensation spreading over my skin. I opened my eyes and found Joris was running his fingers over me. I sat up sharply and looked at him.
ââYou do not like it?â he said, and took his hand away. His eyes did not meet mine. âI thought that you maybe like it. Give you good dreams while you sleep. It not matter.â He turned and started to move his towel away.
âIt had been months since I had let anyone touch my body. âItâs OK,â I said, âI do like it.â
âI lay down and shut my eyes again. A bit of comfort couldnât hurt. This time I could feel his fingers everywhere. On my legs and my arms. Around my neck. On my face. Gentle as air. It was a long time before they strayed onto my breasts. I couldnât seem to move to interfere. I felt the strap of my bikini top sliding off my shoulder. I think I must have groaned because he said something in Dutch and then, hoarsely, in English: âBe free.â
I felt his fingers circling my nipples, then squeezing them. Next thing I felt a finger down below, pulling my bikini bottom aside and wriggling into me. Then two fingers. I felt his gold chain fall onto my chest and smelt a whiff of sweat as his weight came on top of me. Then the two fingers pulled out and I felt three fingers coming in. Cramming against my sense buds. I felt stuffed full. He knew what he was doing. I remember thinking that I had missed the moment when I could find it in myself to stop him.
I tell them, âHe started with fingers, and then it wasâ¦â
âHis slab of meat?â says Mandy.
âLanguage,â says Debs.
âWhatever you call it,â I say, âsounds like an anatomy lesson or an insult.â
âYouâre all right,â says Mandy, âwe know what youâre talking about.â
âI hadnât had sex for a long time. He worked his way
Em Petrova
L Sandifer
L. A. Meyer
Marie Harte
Teresa McCarthy
Brian Aldiss
Thomas Pierce
Leonie Mateer
Robert Jordan
Jean Plaidy