Tales From The Wyrd Museum 1: The Woven Path

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Authors: Robin Jarvis
Tags: Fiction
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ya, I don't want the jerk—let him stay here! If that dope's the only chance I got, I might as well give it up now. Yeah—I know he's the one—I'm not sayin’ he ain't, but look at him, for cryin’ out loud! He's born useless and I ain't takin’ him!’
    The bear winced once more and raised his paws defensively to the ceiling as if warding off a terrible onslaught of abuse, but the anger that burned in his eyes was wild and horrible to look at.
    Then the furry arms were lowered and the wrath on the toy's face was gradually replaced by weary resignation.
    ‘All right, all right!’ he apologised. ‘I hears ya; if it's gotta be, it's gotta be, but jus’ remember what I said. I ain't gonna take the rap if he don't come outta this in one piece—OK?’
    Throughout the whole of this one sided argument, Neil had stared at the living toy transfixed with a mixture of horror and fascination. His initial shock had faded and a fierce indignation at the insulting names the creature had called him now burned within him.
    A great sigh puffed from the bear's mouth when he turned his attention to Neil again. A sheepish grin spread over the fleecy face and the bear shrugged meekly.
    ‘I tried, kid,’ he said, 'you heard me, I tried but they won't listen.’
    Finally Neil found his voice.
    ‘What... what are you?’ he asked.
    ‘Hang it all!’ the bear cussed scornfully. ‘You blind or what? What in sam hell d'ya think I am?’
    ‘You look like a teddy bear.’
    ‘Give him a kewpie doll!’ the creature cried, clapping his paws together in sarcastic applause. ‘Had me worried fer a minute then, kid, no mistakin’ that. Now, hit me with another!’
    Neil didn't care for the toy's mocking tone, but it was all so extraordinary and preposterous that he couldn't help asking stupid and obvious questions. 'Teddy bears don't speak,’ he said plainly, ‘or move their arms.’
    A loud groan came from the cabinet as the creature fell backwards.
    ‘Jeezus!’ he wailed. ‘The kid's a genius, wire the president, it's front page news!’
    Neil's face became stern and he finally picked himself up from the floor.
    ‘Well they don't!’ he shouted.
    Slowly, the creature lifted his head, then rolled over. Placing a paw on the pile of old newspapers he lumbered to his feet and took three shambling steps towards the front of the case.
    ‘You better wise up, kid,’ he warned in a threatening voice, ‘and do it quick, ‘cos there ain't room for no morons in this outfit—you got that?’
    Before Neil could answer, the creature continued. ‘OK, you wanna know what I am, right? What I'm doin’ here? How? Why? When? All the usual junk yeah? OK, listen up ‘cos this'll be the only time, got that?’
    ‘I’m listening,’ the boy answered.
    Placing his paws behind his back, the bear began to pace up and down behind the glass.
    ‘Sure,’ he droned, ‘I’m a teddy bear. Yeah I can move, I got intelligence—more than most folks round here by the looks of things. I can talk, swear like a trooper and love the smell of coffee. I've been stuck in this daffy place way too long an’ I want out—like yesterday. What else you wanna know?’
    ‘But how can you do all that?’ Neil asked. ‘I don't understand...’
    ‘Hell, kid!’ the bear snarled. ‘What is there to understand? You ain't supposed to know why, just accept it. I think, therefore I'm a bear—is that too difficult? When was the last time you asked yourself why you could get off your butt and walk around? It just is, that's all.’
    'That's different.’
    ‘No it ain't. Look, you gonna spend the rest of the day arguin’ or what? Does it matter if I'm a teddy bear? You got a problem with that? You prejudiced against speaking to me—think yer better'n me?’
    ‘Of course not, I ... I don't even believe I'm having this conversation. Have—have you always been like this—are there other toys .. . ?’
    The bear let out an exasperated wail and pulled on his furry ears. 'This

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