Read Online Tabitha by Andrew Hall - Free Book Online Page A

curtains. Tabitha’s heart and strength and love fell out of
her then, and what little of the bedroom she saw through the half-open door
became a teary blur. It was Dad all over again; the deepest kind of pain. It
ended her world, ripped her heart in two. Tabitha burst into tears. She jumped
as something brushed against her hair; a note taped to the door. It didn’t say
her name on the front, just My beautiful girl . Tabitha picked it off the
door and unfolded it. Gently she closed the bedroom door and stood trembling on
the landing. The letter was written in a hurried scrawl, so unlike her mum’s
usual notes. She had to blink the tears away just to read it.
     
    My Tabitha.
     
    Don’t come in love, please. I’ve gone to
be with your Dad now.
     
    I can’t put into words what I’m feeling.
I’ve tried to get to you but I can’t, I feel so helpless. If you find this,
just know that I love you more than anything in the world. It’s all happened so
quickly. The phones aren’t working, I’ve tried over and over to talk to you.
I’m so sorry my beautiful girl. I tried to come to you, but there were things
on the pavements. One got me in the leg and I ran back inside. I don’t know
what’s happening.

 
    There’s too much to say, I can’t put it
all into words. I’m going to go and lie down now love, I feel so faint. I hope
that you and God will forgive me for leaving you.

 
    Don’t worry love, and don’t be sad. Me
and your Dad will see you when you come to be with God. I’ve left plenty of
sleeping tablets in the bathroom if you need them. But only if there’s no other
way.

 
    Whatever happens love, don’t be scared.
We’ll always love you and we’ll be waiting for you. Do what you think is best,
and remember that we’ll always be watching over you.

 
    See you soon, my beautiful little girl.
All my love, always,

 
    Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 
    Tabitha wiped
away her tears. She felt shell shocked. Her mum had always left notes around
for her, to tell her she was out and when she was getting back. Except… she
wasn’t coming back this time. She’d never see her again. She could make out a
crinkled dot on the bottom of the note, where a tear had fallen and dried. Her
mum’s. She kissed the note and tucked it inside her bra, close to her heart.
She thought that she should give Mum a proper burial, but how could she? Mum
said not to come in, please … so she wouldn’t. That was what Mum wanted.
Tabitha laid her palm on the door, sank to the carpet. Cried out every tear she
had. She’d always thought she’d had her heart ripped out for good when Dad
died, and it could never hurt like that again. But there it was again, that
terrible empty feeling, like all the light and love had bled from the world.
    Tabitha’s eyes
were pink and bloodshot when she looked around again at the landing. Blinking
out of a heartbroken trance that felt hours long, she saw her mum’s old
powder-blue ribbon tied around the door handle. Sniffling, Tabitha picked the
knot and took it off to hold it. Should she give her a funeral? How could she
not? But… Mum had said not to come in. That was the best thing to do then. She
didn’t want to go inside anyway, not really. She wanted her mum to stay as a
bright happy thought, distant and holy. Her impish grin, her sunglasses on,
sitting in the deck chair in the sunny back garden. That’s how she’d remember
her. Tabitha tied the ribbon around her belt and knotted it off, and kissed
Dad’s photo as she went back downstairs. Numb.
    Tabitha heard a
tiny clatter in the back garden when she stepped back out of the front door.
Eyes pink and raw from her tears, she walked around the side of the house to
peer over the garden gate. There was a silver spider round the back, sunning
itself on the lawn. Tabitha recognised a shred of her mum’s nightie, tangled up
around one of its spindly legs. Her gripping fingers sank into the creaking
wooden gate. Anger broke her barriers