really think Mari has a
cold heart,’ he asked suddenly as she put the teapot on the table.
‘Sometimes,’ she admitted.
‘She doesn’t appear to have much compassion. And I hate to say it, but
there are times when I think she takes after Annie.’
Belle rarely spoke about her real
mother, who had diedfive years earlier.
The only contact between them since Belle had come to New Zealand was an annual
Christmas card, and she only heard of her mother’s death via Annie’s
solicitor. She had left everything she had to her daughter – a sum of just over
£1,000 – but, as grateful as Belle was to have that money at a time when things were
so hard for them all financially, she would gladly have traded it for one proper
letter telling her that her mother loved her and was sorry for the neglect and
stony-heartedness over the years.
Etienne caught hold of Belle around her
waist and pressed his face into her breasts. ‘How could we have had a child
incapable of compassion?’ he whispered.
‘She isn’t incapable of it.
She just hasn’t been through anything bad enough yet to learn to feel for
others,’ Belle replied. ‘Did Sam say something like that to
you?’
He shook his head. ‘No, the only
thing he said was that she threw herself at him. But I was thinking about how Mari
was last night – she showed no emotion, not about Sam, or what this would mean to
us. That’s frightening.’
Belle lifted his face up and bent to
kiss him. ‘She was on the defensive – I think that man scared her. And
she’s ashamed too. My guess is she was holding all that in so tightly, it
stopped her showing any emotion. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t
feel.’
‘That young blackguard called me
an old man, and I feel like one now,’ he said. ‘What will we do if she
is having a baby?’
‘You aren’t an old man to
me,’ she said. ‘Let’s leave Mog to see the boys off to school,
come upstairs with me and we’ll talk in the bedroom.’
‘I’ve got to finish the roof
at the Apsley house,’ he said.
‘That can wait,’ she said.
‘Go on up, and I’ll bring some tea in a minute.’
Ten minutes later,
after asking Mog to take charge, Belle joined Etienne in their bedroom. He was lying
on the bed looking defeated. She put his tea down on the side table, then joined him
on the bed, pulling him into her arms. ‘Did he hit you?’
‘No, he didn’t,’
Etienne sighed. ‘He didn’t get a chance, but I inflicted a great deal of
damage to his handsome face and ordered him to be on the nine o’clock ferry
and never return.’
‘Sounds like you’ve retained
all your old menace,’ she said with a smile.
‘I feel a bit ashamed now that I
enjoyed it so much,’ he admitted. ‘I even got the knife out that I use
for gutting fish and threatened to slit his nostrils. I can’t really believe I
did that. But if you’d seen him, Belle! Filthy dirty, living like an animal,
and all I could think of was that he’d had his way with our baby.’
Belle held him tightly to her breast and
said nothing. She understood how he felt.
‘I made him piss himself with
fright. But what made me act so self-righteous, Belle? I’ve done things far
worse than he can ever imagine. And I never stopped to think I might have got a girl
pregnant.’
‘I very much doubt you treated any
young girl badly,’ she said soothingly. ‘And I can understand that you
feel a bit of a hypocrite, because I do too – after all, I wasn’t so pure
either. But it’s because we both went so wrong that we want better for Mari. I
really hoped that she’d fall in love with a kind, caring man and float down
the aisle in a white dress and veil, and it never occurred to me that she would be
wanton.’
Etienne chuckled.
‘“Wanton”, that’s a great word. You were wanton as I recall
too.’
‘I was with you,’ she
admitted. ‘I still am, on
cold heart,’ he asked suddenly as she put the teapot on the table.
‘Sometimes,’ she admitted.
‘She doesn’t appear to have much compassion. And I hate to say it, but
there are times when I think she takes after Annie.’
Belle rarely spoke about her real
mother, who had diedfive years earlier.
The only contact between them since Belle had come to New Zealand was an annual
Christmas card, and she only heard of her mother’s death via Annie’s
solicitor. She had left everything she had to her daughter – a sum of just over
£1,000 – but, as grateful as Belle was to have that money at a time when things were
so hard for them all financially, she would gladly have traded it for one proper
letter telling her that her mother loved her and was sorry for the neglect and
stony-heartedness over the years.
Etienne caught hold of Belle around her
waist and pressed his face into her breasts. ‘How could we have had a child
incapable of compassion?’ he whispered.
‘She isn’t incapable of it.
She just hasn’t been through anything bad enough yet to learn to feel for
others,’ Belle replied. ‘Did Sam say something like that to
you?’
He shook his head. ‘No, the only
thing he said was that she threw herself at him. But I was thinking about how Mari
was last night – she showed no emotion, not about Sam, or what this would mean to
us. That’s frightening.’
Belle lifted his face up and bent to
kiss him. ‘She was on the defensive – I think that man scared her. And
she’s ashamed too. My guess is she was holding all that in so tightly, it
stopped her showing any emotion. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t
feel.’
‘That young blackguard called me
an old man, and I feel like one now,’ he said. ‘What will we do if she
is having a baby?’
‘You aren’t an old man to
me,’ she said. ‘Let’s leave Mog to see the boys off to school,
come upstairs with me and we’ll talk in the bedroom.’
‘I’ve got to finish the roof
at the Apsley house,’ he said.
‘That can wait,’ she said.
‘Go on up, and I’ll bring some tea in a minute.’
Ten minutes later,
after asking Mog to take charge, Belle joined Etienne in their bedroom. He was lying
on the bed looking defeated. She put his tea down on the side table, then joined him
on the bed, pulling him into her arms. ‘Did he hit you?’
‘No, he didn’t,’
Etienne sighed. ‘He didn’t get a chance, but I inflicted a great deal of
damage to his handsome face and ordered him to be on the nine o’clock ferry
and never return.’
‘Sounds like you’ve retained
all your old menace,’ she said with a smile.
‘I feel a bit ashamed now that I
enjoyed it so much,’ he admitted. ‘I even got the knife out that I use
for gutting fish and threatened to slit his nostrils. I can’t really believe I
did that. But if you’d seen him, Belle! Filthy dirty, living like an animal,
and all I could think of was that he’d had his way with our baby.’
Belle held him tightly to her breast and
said nothing. She understood how he felt.
‘I made him piss himself with
fright. But what made me act so self-righteous, Belle? I’ve done things far
worse than he can ever imagine. And I never stopped to think I might have got a girl
pregnant.’
‘I very much doubt you treated any
young girl badly,’ she said soothingly. ‘And I can understand that you
feel a bit of a hypocrite, because I do too – after all, I wasn’t so pure
either. But it’s because we both went so wrong that we want better for Mari. I
really hoped that she’d fall in love with a kind, caring man and float down
the aisle in a white dress and veil, and it never occurred to me that she would be
wanton.’
Etienne chuckled.
‘“Wanton”, that’s a great word. You were wanton as I recall
too.’
‘I was with you,’ she
admitted. ‘I still am, on
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