Read Online Surviving Raine 01 by Shay Savage - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Shay Savage
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side again, bile burning up my throat.
When that session was over, I tried to sit up with my knees close to my chest. My heart raced, my hands shook, I was sweating all over, and I was fucking cold despite the sun blazing in through the canopy. I put my head in my hands and just listened to myself breathe for a while.
“Do you want some water?” Raine asked.
“No, I don’t want any fucking water!” I yelled. Why did she keep talking? It occurred to me that somehow this was all her fault anyway. I pulled my hands from my face and glared at her. “What the fuck did you do, anyway?”
“Do? I haven’t done anything.”
“What the fuck did you do to make my ship sink, bitch?”
“Daniel, you aren’t making any sense,” Raine said, flinching away from me.
Like there was somewhere for her to go.
“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?”
“No, Daniel,” she said softly. “I think you’re sick.”
“Sick?” I laughed and shook my head at her. “You think I’m sick? Baby, you have no idea all the sick, twisted shit I’ve done. The number of people I’ve slaughtered, the number of women I’ve fucked. Shit – I don’t even remember how many!”
I squeezed my eyes shut and just rocked back and forth, trying to keep pace with the shakes. At least I felt like I was trying to do something even though it wasn’t actually helping or anything. The pain in my head and my stomach was a lot like getting shot. It ached and stabbed and burned all at once, and there was no way I could move my body into a position where it would stop hurting.
I linked my elbows around my knees and put my forehead down against my arms. I kept rocking and trying to relax my muscles, but they were too tense. They wouldn’t loosen up no matter what I said to them. There was something soft on my shoulder, running up and down it.
One fucking shot…that’s all I needed. Just one fucking shot – vodka, rum, even fucking gin. It didn’t matter what. Just one little sip of anything to take the edge off. I could make it through if I could just take the edge off. I’d even settle for a fucking American beer.
“One fucking shot!” I screamed out, causing Raine to jump and let out a little squeaking sound. I narrowed my eyes, realizing she had been touching my shoulder again. “Are you a fucking mouse?”
“No,” Raine said cautiously. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you fucking squeak,” I snarled. “Don’t do that again.”
“You startled me.”
“I’ll do a whole hell of a lot more than that if you don’t shut the fuck up and quit touching me.”
I watched her eyes darken for a moment but couldn’t watch her face transform into that nasty little “I’m not taking any more of this shit” look she had yesterday because I was puking over the side again.
When I managed to pull myself back away from the water again, I felt my whole body go limp, and I lowered myself down on my side. I pulled my arms up and covered my face with my hands while I tried to figure out just how in the hell I managed to end up like this.
Left in a bar as a toddler. No parents to be found. No one interested in becoming my parents, either. No one wants to adopt a kid whose parents didn’t even want him. Different foster homes every couple of years until I started getting into trouble. Then it was group homes and eventually juvenile detention. Nice start to life. No wonder I was so fucked up.
“Please, talk to me, Daniel.”
I heard her voice again but didn’t want to yell at her any more. My throat felt like I had been yelling all day, and I probably had been. I took another deep breath and felt a sob come out of my chest. I didn’t realize I was crying. Fucking crying.
“They could have just left me in a fucking dumpster or something,” I heard myself sob. “Save the state a lot of cash.”
I heard her move a little closer to me, and I
When that session was over, I tried to sit up with my knees close to my chest. My heart raced, my hands shook, I was sweating all over, and I was fucking cold despite the sun blazing in through the canopy. I put my head in my hands and just listened to myself breathe for a while.
“Do you want some water?” Raine asked.
“No, I don’t want any fucking water!” I yelled. Why did she keep talking? It occurred to me that somehow this was all her fault anyway. I pulled my hands from my face and glared at her. “What the fuck did you do, anyway?”
“Do? I haven’t done anything.”
“What the fuck did you do to make my ship sink, bitch?”
“Daniel, you aren’t making any sense,” Raine said, flinching away from me.
Like there was somewhere for her to go.
“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?”
“No, Daniel,” she said softly. “I think you’re sick.”
“Sick?” I laughed and shook my head at her. “You think I’m sick? Baby, you have no idea all the sick, twisted shit I’ve done. The number of people I’ve slaughtered, the number of women I’ve fucked. Shit – I don’t even remember how many!”
I squeezed my eyes shut and just rocked back and forth, trying to keep pace with the shakes. At least I felt like I was trying to do something even though it wasn’t actually helping or anything. The pain in my head and my stomach was a lot like getting shot. It ached and stabbed and burned all at once, and there was no way I could move my body into a position where it would stop hurting.
I linked my elbows around my knees and put my forehead down against my arms. I kept rocking and trying to relax my muscles, but they were too tense. They wouldn’t loosen up no matter what I said to them. There was something soft on my shoulder, running up and down it.
One fucking shot…that’s all I needed. Just one fucking shot – vodka, rum, even fucking gin. It didn’t matter what. Just one little sip of anything to take the edge off. I could make it through if I could just take the edge off. I’d even settle for a fucking American beer.
“One fucking shot!” I screamed out, causing Raine to jump and let out a little squeaking sound. I narrowed my eyes, realizing she had been touching my shoulder again. “Are you a fucking mouse?”
“No,” Raine said cautiously. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you fucking squeak,” I snarled. “Don’t do that again.”
“You startled me.”
“I’ll do a whole hell of a lot more than that if you don’t shut the fuck up and quit touching me.”
I watched her eyes darken for a moment but couldn’t watch her face transform into that nasty little “I’m not taking any more of this shit” look she had yesterday because I was puking over the side again.
When I managed to pull myself back away from the water again, I felt my whole body go limp, and I lowered myself down on my side. I pulled my arms up and covered my face with my hands while I tried to figure out just how in the hell I managed to end up like this.
Left in a bar as a toddler. No parents to be found. No one interested in becoming my parents, either. No one wants to adopt a kid whose parents didn’t even want him. Different foster homes every couple of years until I started getting into trouble. Then it was group homes and eventually juvenile detention. Nice start to life. No wonder I was so fucked up.
“Please, talk to me, Daniel.”
I heard her voice again but didn’t want to yell at her any more. My throat felt like I had been yelling all day, and I probably had been. I took another deep breath and felt a sob come out of my chest. I didn’t realize I was crying. Fucking crying.
“They could have just left me in a fucking dumpster or something,” I heard myself sob. “Save the state a lot of cash.”
I heard her move a little closer to me, and I
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