Read Online Surviving Love (Montana Wilds Book 1) by Willow Summers - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Willow Summers
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but maybe another night? I’m exhausted from today. Not used to constant activity, you know?”
Sam laughed, easy and effortless. “Of course. I forgot you don’t have any stamina.”
Sara smiled in relief. “Working on it.”
“Wait for me. I’ll go back with you.” Christie finished off her rib and stuffed some potato in her mouth before bounding up.
As they made their way into the night, Christie said quietly, “That was awkward.”
“Little bit,” Sara agreed. “I’ve hinted pretty obviously that I’m all jacked up and not looking for a relationship…”
“He’s probably not thinking that far ahead. After the summer ends, everyone goes home. This is a place for flings.”
“Huh. Well, don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m not really into flings. Was kind of with one guy for an extended period of time. Then he dumped me, so my average isn’t looking too good.”
“Probably hopes you’ll rebound.”
Sara opened the back door for Christie, that familiar lead weight lodging in her chest at the thought of moving on. The thought of why she had to.
Panic gripped her. “I don’t want to rebound. I don’t want to feel anything. I wish I could just cut off the emotional side and go through life like a zombie.”
Christie wrapped her arm around Sara’s shoulders in a walking hug as they approached their room.
“Although I guess I’ve been doing that for the last few years,” Sara amended, the lump in her chest spreading through her body. “Kind of a waste.”
“Nah,” Christie said quietly as they walked into their room so as not to wake the nightmare twins next door. “Only when you don’t learn from your mistakes are they a waste.”
Sara nodded, tears springing. She shook her head and widened her eyes so no moisture leaked out. “I’m going to go for a walk.”
“Are you sure?” Christie asked, pausing with her shirt halfway off. “Do you want me to come?”
“No, I’m okay.” Sara grabbed a sweater and headed back toward the door. “I just need to clear my head.”
“Okay, well… text if you want company. And don’t go far. I don’t want you getting lost.”
Sara nodded, her heart lightened that the college student had turned into the responsible adult. When she stepped outside, though, the tiny amount of joy withered away. The darkness engulfed her, smothering. The pain welled up, the thought of being dumped for another woman frosting her heart and chewing away chunks at a time.
A tingling fizz started at her ribcage, but not the good kind when a new crush came around. She didn’t even remember what that felt like. No, this was the other kind. The sucking undertow that happened right before the wave of loss crashed down and pulled her under. A flashback pinched her heart.
“Phil… but… please. We can work it out. We can fix this.”
Phil’s head had tilted to the side, his ice-blue eyes looking down at her in comical pity. “Sara, you’re just not the same girl you used to be. I need to move on.”
“But we’re engaged, Phil. Doesn’t that mean anything? We have so much history…”
As Sara’s feet crunched along the path through the trees, pain filled her chest.
“Some things just weren’t meant to be,” he’d said as he turned toward the door. “Take care.”
The click of the door in the silent house sounded like a gunshot. As the emptiness settled in her heart and throughout the house, loneliness crept in. The stark, desolate landscape of her love life grew cold and secluded. Isolated. All she’d known of love had crunched her bones into a fine powder and dusted her away. Every time she went to sleep in an empty bed, it reminded her of her inadequacy. Of the fact that he’d walked out on her when her age was starting to show and chosen someone prettier. Someone younger. Someone better.
Gulping down a sob, she emerged from the tree line and stopped. The world dropped away in an explosion of stars. Closing her eyes, she let the cool
Sam laughed, easy and effortless. “Of course. I forgot you don’t have any stamina.”
Sara smiled in relief. “Working on it.”
“Wait for me. I’ll go back with you.” Christie finished off her rib and stuffed some potato in her mouth before bounding up.
As they made their way into the night, Christie said quietly, “That was awkward.”
“Little bit,” Sara agreed. “I’ve hinted pretty obviously that I’m all jacked up and not looking for a relationship…”
“He’s probably not thinking that far ahead. After the summer ends, everyone goes home. This is a place for flings.”
“Huh. Well, don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m not really into flings. Was kind of with one guy for an extended period of time. Then he dumped me, so my average isn’t looking too good.”
“Probably hopes you’ll rebound.”
Sara opened the back door for Christie, that familiar lead weight lodging in her chest at the thought of moving on. The thought of why she had to.
Panic gripped her. “I don’t want to rebound. I don’t want to feel anything. I wish I could just cut off the emotional side and go through life like a zombie.”
Christie wrapped her arm around Sara’s shoulders in a walking hug as they approached their room.
“Although I guess I’ve been doing that for the last few years,” Sara amended, the lump in her chest spreading through her body. “Kind of a waste.”
“Nah,” Christie said quietly as they walked into their room so as not to wake the nightmare twins next door. “Only when you don’t learn from your mistakes are they a waste.”
Sara nodded, tears springing. She shook her head and widened her eyes so no moisture leaked out. “I’m going to go for a walk.”
“Are you sure?” Christie asked, pausing with her shirt halfway off. “Do you want me to come?”
“No, I’m okay.” Sara grabbed a sweater and headed back toward the door. “I just need to clear my head.”
“Okay, well… text if you want company. And don’t go far. I don’t want you getting lost.”
Sara nodded, her heart lightened that the college student had turned into the responsible adult. When she stepped outside, though, the tiny amount of joy withered away. The darkness engulfed her, smothering. The pain welled up, the thought of being dumped for another woman frosting her heart and chewing away chunks at a time.
A tingling fizz started at her ribcage, but not the good kind when a new crush came around. She didn’t even remember what that felt like. No, this was the other kind. The sucking undertow that happened right before the wave of loss crashed down and pulled her under. A flashback pinched her heart.
“Phil… but… please. We can work it out. We can fix this.”
Phil’s head had tilted to the side, his ice-blue eyes looking down at her in comical pity. “Sara, you’re just not the same girl you used to be. I need to move on.”
“But we’re engaged, Phil. Doesn’t that mean anything? We have so much history…”
As Sara’s feet crunched along the path through the trees, pain filled her chest.
“Some things just weren’t meant to be,” he’d said as he turned toward the door. “Take care.”
The click of the door in the silent house sounded like a gunshot. As the emptiness settled in her heart and throughout the house, loneliness crept in. The stark, desolate landscape of her love life grew cold and secluded. Isolated. All she’d known of love had crunched her bones into a fine powder and dusted her away. Every time she went to sleep in an empty bed, it reminded her of her inadequacy. Of the fact that he’d walked out on her when her age was starting to show and chosen someone prettier. Someone younger. Someone better.
Gulping down a sob, she emerged from the tree line and stopped. The world dropped away in an explosion of stars. Closing her eyes, she let the cool
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