unusually foul mood and I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to go there with anyone right now including her. I know she’s going to call again but I don’t want to talk to her. Not until I figure out what to say to her anyway.
Chapter Two –––––––– I t’s been a couple of days and she is still calling me and I am still ignoring her. I still don’t know what to say to her. My head and my heart are so conflicted. My head says I should talk to her but my heart doesn’t want to be destroyed by her and her omissions. I need to get out of my flat. I can’t think properly here plus I need to apologize to my band mates for my behavior the other night. They haven’t tried to talk to me and I can’t say that I blame them. I acted like a first class ass. The lift is broken again – big surprise – so I head to the stairs. As soon as I start down them, I see her walking up. Perfect.....this is just perfect. I try to look at her but all I can see is Courtney’s – Gillian’s – face. I can’t look at her without thinking about husbands and fiancés and lies, lies, lies! She awkwardly asks me what time we are meeting for that charity thing and I rudely tell her we aren’t. Her face falls. My heart aches. I have to tell her that I know her little secret but once those words leave my mouth that’s it. There’s no coming back from that. “Well I think maybe you should go with your fiancé.” I say. She starts to say something but I’m not even listening to her. I just start yelling at her. She tries a couple of times to explain but I just keep cutting her off. I’m being a total jerk, I know I am. I finally look at her and see the tears welling up in her eyes. My heart constricts. For a moment I feel bad but then all of the sudden...I don’t. She knows what’s coming, or she at least has an idea, I can see it on her face. “I really, really liked you Chloe.” I hear myself saying. “I’m just...I can’t do this. I can’t be the other guy, some fling, your replacement boyfriend. I’m done...We’re done.” Chloe starts to cry as she pushes past me and runs up the steps. I feel numb. There is a part of me that wants to run after her and take it all back but I did that once before and I was the one that ended up brokenhearted and alone. I know I hurt her. I’m hurting too. I walk outside to my truck and stand there for a moment leaning on my forearms against the truck bed. I want to scream and curse and let the entire world know how I feel. Instead I straighten up and start kicking the hell out of my tires. “Well this seems like an unfair fight. Poor tire can’t even defend itself from a strapping young lad such as yourself.” Tyler says as he appears next to me. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on now?” “Nope.” “Heard you guys broke up.” “Yup.” “She seems to be pretty gutted.” “She’s not the only one.” “What happened?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” “You might feel be-“ “I said I don’t want to talk about it.” I yell out, cutting him off. “Okay, okay. So what do you want to do?” “Get completely pissed and forget this day ever happened.” “Ahhhh, so consume loads of alcohol and wallow in the pool of loathing and self-pity. Count me in.” Tyler runs around to the side of my truck and jumps in the passenger seat. I climb in the driver’s seat, turn the truck on and the sounds of Coldplay immediately starts flowing through the speakers. Chloe’s favorite band. I reach over and switch the radio off. I don’t want anything right now that will make me think about her. Not that switching off the radio really helps. I don’t think it matters what I do. She’s still on my mind. They may not be the best thoughts at the moment, but still.....she’s there. “So where are we going?” Tyler asks as I maneuver my truck out of the parking lot. I think for a moment. “Mariano’s.” Tyler’s face