Read Online Surrender 01 - Surrender by Melody Anne - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Melody Anne
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this because I’m the one who raised you, and I raised you to be independent and to succeed in whatever you set out to achieve. You can and will do anything your heart desires. If something does happen to me, I forbid you to mourn me for too long. That would break my heart into a million pieces. Even if I’m taken from this world a little too soon, I’ll always be with you, watching out for you. Just promise me that you won’t give up and settle for less. Live life to the fullest, not at half measure like so many people do!”
Ari looked at her mother’s pale face, not knowing how to respond. She couldn’t promise her mother that she’d continue living — she couldn’t make it without her. It was the first time Ari ever remembered her mom asking something of her that she couldn’t do.
“I’m serious, Arianna. I want you to live your life for you. Enough of this guilt. Enough of this sadness. Let’s talk about something happy.” Ari’s mother brightened as she asked, “How is graduate school going?”
Ari’s sense of guilt nearly consumed her. She didn’t want to tell her mother how dire their circumstances were. What if the news sent her back into the coma? On the other hand, she couldn’t lie.
“I took some time off school. You know I can’t graduate without you sitting in the front row cheering me on. It wouldn’t be the same.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. Well, I’m awake now, and I’m just fine, no matter what those doctors say. You go back to school and enroll. You’re not a quitter, and I already had the frame picked out for your graduation photo. I’m so very proud of all you’ve achieved.”
“Oh, Mom,” Ari cried as she climbed up into the bed next to her. And her mother, though still weak, lifted her arm and began stroking Ari’s hair as she’d always done when things looked bad. Somehow it made everything better.
Here I go again , Ari sighed to herself. After all my fine words, I’m leaning on Mom, as usual, and not vice versa. But she didn’t care. At this moment, she needed to be comforted. But she promised herself that in just a few minutes she’d find her inner strength and help her mom get through her terrible illness.
Being in her mother’s arms was giving her what she needed to carry on over the upcoming weeks or months. She said a silent prayer as the two of them lay there silently together.
*****
The next afternoon, Ari came through her front door and saw the flashing light on her answering machine. She tossed her purse onto the couch and forced herself to walk casually to the sink and get a g lass of water, and then stand there while she slowly drank it. Her eyes kept straying to the blinking red light only a few feet away as impatience built up inside her.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” she lectured herself. Too many times recently, when she’d pressed the button, she heard not the eagerly anticipated job offer but the threats of another bill collector. The letdown always devastated her.
When she deemed that enough time had passed, she approached the small black box with deliberate, unhurried steps. She casually sat on the couch, lifted pen and pad of paper, and only then pushed the button.
To Ari’s disgust, hope played its usual trick and gripped her heart . All her lectures had been for naught, and she knew she was going to be crushed. Once again, she was sure, no dream job would materialize to save her mother from death and keep her from living on the streets.
“Ms. Harlow, this is James Flander from Sunstream Electronics. We’ve gone over your application and feel you are a strong candidate for our team. Please give us a call back as soon as you get this message so we can schedule you for an early interview.”
Ari barely heard the rest of the message and had to play it back twice more so she could write down the number. Her hands were shaking so badly, she could barely grip the pen.
Waiting until her voice was calm and steady, Ari dialed
Ari looked at her mother’s pale face, not knowing how to respond. She couldn’t promise her mother that she’d continue living — she couldn’t make it without her. It was the first time Ari ever remembered her mom asking something of her that she couldn’t do.
“I’m serious, Arianna. I want you to live your life for you. Enough of this guilt. Enough of this sadness. Let’s talk about something happy.” Ari’s mother brightened as she asked, “How is graduate school going?”
Ari’s sense of guilt nearly consumed her. She didn’t want to tell her mother how dire their circumstances were. What if the news sent her back into the coma? On the other hand, she couldn’t lie.
“I took some time off school. You know I can’t graduate without you sitting in the front row cheering me on. It wouldn’t be the same.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. Well, I’m awake now, and I’m just fine, no matter what those doctors say. You go back to school and enroll. You’re not a quitter, and I already had the frame picked out for your graduation photo. I’m so very proud of all you’ve achieved.”
“Oh, Mom,” Ari cried as she climbed up into the bed next to her. And her mother, though still weak, lifted her arm and began stroking Ari’s hair as she’d always done when things looked bad. Somehow it made everything better.
Here I go again , Ari sighed to herself. After all my fine words, I’m leaning on Mom, as usual, and not vice versa. But she didn’t care. At this moment, she needed to be comforted. But she promised herself that in just a few minutes she’d find her inner strength and help her mom get through her terrible illness.
Being in her mother’s arms was giving her what she needed to carry on over the upcoming weeks or months. She said a silent prayer as the two of them lay there silently together.
*****
The next afternoon, Ari came through her front door and saw the flashing light on her answering machine. She tossed her purse onto the couch and forced herself to walk casually to the sink and get a g lass of water, and then stand there while she slowly drank it. Her eyes kept straying to the blinking red light only a few feet away as impatience built up inside her.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” she lectured herself. Too many times recently, when she’d pressed the button, she heard not the eagerly anticipated job offer but the threats of another bill collector. The letdown always devastated her.
When she deemed that enough time had passed, she approached the small black box with deliberate, unhurried steps. She casually sat on the couch, lifted pen and pad of paper, and only then pushed the button.
To Ari’s disgust, hope played its usual trick and gripped her heart . All her lectures had been for naught, and she knew she was going to be crushed. Once again, she was sure, no dream job would materialize to save her mother from death and keep her from living on the streets.
“Ms. Harlow, this is James Flander from Sunstream Electronics. We’ve gone over your application and feel you are a strong candidate for our team. Please give us a call back as soon as you get this message so we can schedule you for an early interview.”
Ari barely heard the rest of the message and had to play it back twice more so she could write down the number. Her hands were shaking so badly, she could barely grip the pen.
Waiting until her voice was calm and steady, Ari dialed
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