think the key to being fashionable is just to do the opposite of whatever the magazines tell you to do. Want to try some?â
Izzy hands me the case, and I lean in toward the mirror and paint the eye shadow onto my lids, just like Izzy did.
âWhat are you doing after this?â I ask Izzy.
âDonât know,â she shrugs. âPhaedraâs meeting me here now.â
âPhaedra is coming here?â I repeat.
âYeah,â Izzy says. âSheâs actually being really annoying about plans. She keeps flaking on me and then she does this thing where sheâs, like, âwhere are you?â She acts like Iâve been being hard to reach, but Iâm totally not.â
âOh, really?â I say. âThatâs annoying. Are you gonna say something?â
âSay something?â Izzy laughs. âYeah, right. Thatâs just how friends are. The more you love them, the more mad they make you.â
âI guess so.â I want to ask her more but sheâs engrossed in her reflection again.
Izzy gives her hair a final tussle and then turns to me and smiles. âReady?â
â
Outside, the rain has momentarily stopped. Phaedra is leaning against the wall. Sheâs perfectly dry, as if she brought her own mild weather with her.
Izzy gives Phaedra a hug. âWere you waiting long?â
âJust got here,â Phaedra replies. To me she says, â Hi, Sadie. â
This is the first time Phaedra has ever said my name.
âHey,â I reply, trying to sound normal. âWe just saw this painting exhibit, it was really good. You should see it.â
âOh really?â Phaedra says. She smiles, which lets me know I said the right thing.
âIt was great,â Izzy agrees. âAnyway, did you hear from Paul?â
Then, Izzy and Phaedra start texting and making plans for tonight on their phones. They speak to each other in the code people use when theyâre friends, saying things like
âlast timeâ
and
âthe other guyâ
and
âthe one whose sister went to my camp.
â
âWhat are you guys doing after this?â I ask.
Izzy looks up. âMeeting up with some people.â
I want to ask who and if I am invited, but then Phaedra steps into the street to flag down a taxi and one careens over to the side of the road and screeches to a halt.
âBye, girl,â Izzy says. âSee you Monday.â
And then theyâre gone, tumbling into the cab and laughing and going who knows where. I stand there for a moment on the curb, stunned to be left behind.
Izzy and Phaedra are good friends and they probably had these plans for a long time. Still, I wish I was going with them. I wish it so badly that itâs as if I can feel the ground burn beneath my feet.
Chapter 14
Allan came to my recital, after all.
There were ten girls in my class, and ten sets of parents watching us from behind a strip of red masking tape that Anyeshka had put on the hardwood floor. It felt amazing to have my mom and my father there.
Waiting in line before my solo, the pianist banging out our songs, I felt like something important was about to happen. Arms in first position, my right toe pressed to the ground, just waiting to burst across the stage. I knew the moves by heart: sashay-sashay-leap, then fifth, then élevée, and then curtsy.
There were only two girls in front of me and my heart was starting to race. I looked out at the parents. My mom smiled as she watched the girl who was doing her solo. And then Allan turned abruptly and left the room.
No
.
Come back
, I willed him with my mind. He didnât know it was almost my turn.
He missed my solo. My limbs felt heavy as I skipped across the stage. My mom had seen me practice a million times at home, but Allan had never seen me dance. At theend we curtsied and all the grown-ups flooded across the tape and embraced us.
âWhereâs Dad?â I asked. The word
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