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can refuse,” she said. I realized she was talking to herself. “But then we’ll sink the hook into him and he’ll know he can’t refuse—not an offer like this.”
Mama walked out of the office without saying anything. I understood only belatedly that I should follow.
When I arrived at the Don’s table, Mama was whispering in his ear. Cocoa watched me with a thinly disguised expression of horror. I remembered what my roommate had told me earlier—that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. Did I really have that choice? Mama said Don Costa could shut the place down. Could I simply say no and let that happen?
Very few people had choices in life, I slowly realized. I was definitely not one of them—not now. Maybe not ever.
Mama leaned back and looked at the Don, waiting. He eyed me, grinning lecherously, until he reached into his suit jacket and withdrew a thick wad of money.
“Sold,” he said, licking his finger and counting out the bills.
Mama scooped up the cash as soon as the Don laid it on the table, stuffing it down into her ample cleavage.
“Cocoa, show Miss Jazz and Don Costa to the best room in the house,” Mama said. “Jazz, I’ll keep your things safe until you come get them.” She laid her hand on her breast and I knew she meant the money. How much of it was mine?
Cocoa cut across the dance floor and started to mount a set of stairs I had seen but assumed had led to more living quarters for Mama’s girls. The Don followed Cocoa, slapping her buttocks playfully as she walked up the steps. I followed the Don, feeling weak and lightheaded.
Cocoa reached a room and opened it. Flicking on a light revealed thick red curtains covering the expanses of walls. The bed was on a raised platform in the middle of the room. Off to the side was a bathroom. The dusky lighting gave everything a romantic feeling, but I couldn’t help feeling sick.
“Cocoa, did you know that Jazz is a virgin?” Don Costa mused. His grin was a little loopy and I could tell that all those martinis had made him tipsy.
“Jazz is a good girl,” my roommate said firmly. “Of course she’s a virgin. Now, we’re going to go get her ready in the bathroom. You stay out here and make yourself comfortable.”
Cocoa took me by the elbow and escorted me into the private bathroom, shutting the door behind us.
“Are you really a virgin?” she hissed. “Or is that something Mama invented?”
“I really am,” I said softly.
“Jesus.” Cocoa put her hands on her head, looking like she wanted to tear her hair out. “Okay, stay calm.”
I wondered if she was talking to herself or to me. She opened a cabinet to reveal an assortment of condoms and lubricants. Grabbing a handful, she slammed the door shut.
“Take off your clothes,” she said. “Leave your bra and underwear on.”
I obeyed immediately. Cocoa obviously had more knowledge about this than I did. She looked genuinely upset and like she wanted to help me.
“I bet you wondered why Mama insisted on matching lingerie sets under your uniform,” my roommate muttered, draping my blouse and skirt over a hanger.
“I thought it was just because she liked nice things,” I said innocently. My bra was black lace and the thong matched it perfectly.
“She does like her nice things,” Cocoa agreed irreverently. She uncapped a bottle of lube and held it out to me. “Put this on your pussy. Try to work it inside. Don’t be shy. You’ll thank me later.”
I swallowed and took the bottle, squirting a bit of the lube onto my fingers. It was cold and vaguely sticky. Closing my eyes, I jammed my hand into my thong and rubbed myself with it. The wetness was unpleasant and uncomfortable. I washed my hands afterward.
“You’re as ready as you’ll ever be,” Cocoa determined. She brought out her ever-present red lipstick and swept the color over my lips.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Who was this Jazz? I didn’t recognize her.
“So I just go and lie
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