Read Online Still a Work in Progress by Jo Knowles - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jo Knowles
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Smile!”
I try to smile.
Sam and Ryan start laughing.
“Open your mouth a little. People never realize how silly they look when they smile with their mouths closed.”
I wish
she
would try closing her mouth for five seconds.
I open my mouth a little and try to grin naturally. It feels weird.
“It’ll have to do,” the woman says. I think she takes her job a little too seriously.
The camera clicks, and I step away to join Jem in the after-picture hall of shame. It’s crowded, which makes me feel better about the whole thing.
At home that night, Emma asks me all about Picture Day. I tell her I don’t think her prank was very funny.
“What?” she asks, all surprised. “I thought that would crack you up!”
“It might have if it
wasn’t me,
” I say.
“How selfish.” She punches me in the arm the way she does.
“You’re not funny,” I repeat.
She grins. “How’d you like your Tofurky sandwich?” she asks me.
“It was gross,” I say. “And that wasn’t mayonnaise, either.”
“I know. It was Vegenaise. Yummy and kind to animals.”
I’m starting to think maybe I should trade breakfast responsibility with lunch after all. Only, I know my mom would flip if I suggested we change our routine. God forbid anyone try to tell Emma what to eat.
“If you’re going to insist on making me a vegan, then just give me vegetables or something, OK? Fake meat is such an insult.”
“To who?”
“To meat!”
“Meat doesn’t have feelings.”
“Just stick with peanut butter and jelly, OK?”
“All right,” she says. Then she punches me in the arm one more time before going off to make our lunches for tomorrow. I wish she wouldn’t make them the night before. By the time I get around to eating my lunch the next day, the bread is either soggy or stale, depending on what’s inside. The other thing she puts in there are these energy bars that are supposed to taste like chocolate but taste like something vaguely of chocolate essence and more like sawdust. Not that I’ve ever eaten sawdust, but that’s what I imagine it would taste like if I ever decided to try.
I start my homework but get interrupted by Sam texting me about Sadie. He said he caught her watching me and smiling during my fashion shoot.
Fashion shoot.
That’s just great.
I’m tempted to go yell at Emma again for ruining my life, because I get this feeling that by tomorrow when I get back to school, I’m going to have some kind of new embarrassing nickname that has something to do with either rainbows or a male model.
I text Sam back to tell him it wasn’t a fashion shoot and then turn off my phone so he can’t argue with me or make me feel any worse.
The Captain jumps up on my bed and circles until he makes a nice nest to curl up in.
I flop down next to him and stare at the ceiling until I hear a distinct whistle slip out of his butt and my room turns toxic.
“Emma!” I yell. “Stop feeding the dog Tofurky! You’re going to kill us all!”
The Captain wags his tail, which only spreads the smell even more.
We’re the kind of family that always sits at the same place at the table. My mom and dad on the ends, me and Emma across from each other in the middle.
Tonight we’re having roasted potatoes, broccoli, baked tofu smothered in barbecue sauce, and bread made by my dad. My dad loves to make bread. He also loves to cook, though since Emma started making all her vegan demands, I think he likes it less. My dad is the kind of cook who roasts or smokes some sort of meat all day long and makes everyone comment on how much more amazing it is because of all that waiting and smoking when really none of us can tell the difference. For a while, it was only Emma who was vegan. But she kept adding these crazy rules about how my dad cooked. Like if he grilled meat and vegetables, the vegetables couldn’t be grilled where the meat touched. Then she wouldn’t even eat the vegetables if they’d been on the same grill at all.
I try to smile.
Sam and Ryan start laughing.
“Open your mouth a little. People never realize how silly they look when they smile with their mouths closed.”
I wish
she
would try closing her mouth for five seconds.
I open my mouth a little and try to grin naturally. It feels weird.
“It’ll have to do,” the woman says. I think she takes her job a little too seriously.
The camera clicks, and I step away to join Jem in the after-picture hall of shame. It’s crowded, which makes me feel better about the whole thing.
At home that night, Emma asks me all about Picture Day. I tell her I don’t think her prank was very funny.
“What?” she asks, all surprised. “I thought that would crack you up!”
“It might have if it
wasn’t me,
” I say.
“How selfish.” She punches me in the arm the way she does.
“You’re not funny,” I repeat.
She grins. “How’d you like your Tofurky sandwich?” she asks me.
“It was gross,” I say. “And that wasn’t mayonnaise, either.”
“I know. It was Vegenaise. Yummy and kind to animals.”
I’m starting to think maybe I should trade breakfast responsibility with lunch after all. Only, I know my mom would flip if I suggested we change our routine. God forbid anyone try to tell Emma what to eat.
“If you’re going to insist on making me a vegan, then just give me vegetables or something, OK? Fake meat is such an insult.”
“To who?”
“To meat!”
“Meat doesn’t have feelings.”
“Just stick with peanut butter and jelly, OK?”
“All right,” she says. Then she punches me in the arm one more time before going off to make our lunches for tomorrow. I wish she wouldn’t make them the night before. By the time I get around to eating my lunch the next day, the bread is either soggy or stale, depending on what’s inside. The other thing she puts in there are these energy bars that are supposed to taste like chocolate but taste like something vaguely of chocolate essence and more like sawdust. Not that I’ve ever eaten sawdust, but that’s what I imagine it would taste like if I ever decided to try.
I start my homework but get interrupted by Sam texting me about Sadie. He said he caught her watching me and smiling during my fashion shoot.
Fashion shoot.
That’s just great.
I’m tempted to go yell at Emma again for ruining my life, because I get this feeling that by tomorrow when I get back to school, I’m going to have some kind of new embarrassing nickname that has something to do with either rainbows or a male model.
I text Sam back to tell him it wasn’t a fashion shoot and then turn off my phone so he can’t argue with me or make me feel any worse.
The Captain jumps up on my bed and circles until he makes a nice nest to curl up in.
I flop down next to him and stare at the ceiling until I hear a distinct whistle slip out of his butt and my room turns toxic.
“Emma!” I yell. “Stop feeding the dog Tofurky! You’re going to kill us all!”
The Captain wags his tail, which only spreads the smell even more.
We’re the kind of family that always sits at the same place at the table. My mom and dad on the ends, me and Emma across from each other in the middle.
Tonight we’re having roasted potatoes, broccoli, baked tofu smothered in barbecue sauce, and bread made by my dad. My dad loves to make bread. He also loves to cook, though since Emma started making all her vegan demands, I think he likes it less. My dad is the kind of cook who roasts or smokes some sort of meat all day long and makes everyone comment on how much more amazing it is because of all that waiting and smoking when really none of us can tell the difference. For a while, it was only Emma who was vegan. But she kept adding these crazy rules about how my dad cooked. Like if he grilled meat and vegetables, the vegetables couldn’t be grilled where the meat touched. Then she wouldn’t even eat the vegetables if they’d been on the same grill at all.
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