Read Online Stiffs and Swine by J. B. Stanley - Free Book Online Page B

colors as they viewed the area where caricaturists, clowns selling pig-shaped balloons, temporary-tattoo artists, and face painters were tucking dollar bills into aprons or stirring paint as they occasionally checked the time. In less than thirty minutes, the festival would open. The feeling of anticipation among the vendors was palpable.
    Inside the recreation center, a modern building made of glass and steel, men and women bustled about with determined strides, holding clipboards and walkie-talkies. A slim man in a blue button-down shirt waved at James and his friends as they approached a reception desk stacked with park maps, contest times and locations, and schedules for the entertainment events.
    “Welcome!” The man shook hands all around. “I’m R. C. Richter, president of the Hudsonville Chamber of Commerce and head judge here at Hog Fest. Thank you kindly for agreeing to be our celebrity judges this weekend.” He smiled at them, though it was clear that he wanted to dispense with the formalities and get down to business. “I trust you’re finding the Inn at Fox Hall satisfactory? Eleanor Fiennes works very hard to please all of her guests.”
    “It’s simply divine!” Gillian gushed. “Why, I saw so many species of birds on the nature walk I took after lunch that I felt as though I were truly in a sanctuary .”
    As Gillian took a breath in order to describe Fox Hall’s flora and fauna in complete detail, James put a hand on his friend’s shoulder to distract her. In answer to R. C.’s question, James replied, “The inn is great, thank you. But I’m sure you’re very busy and would like to give us the lay of the land before the festival begins.”
    R. C. nodded gratefully. “Yes. Please follow me, folks. I’ve got name badges for you to wear this weekend. Kindly display them in a visible location on your person at all times. These are how you’ll gain entry to restricted areas around the festival. They will also grant you discounts at the majority of the vendor booths. Of course, any entertainment venues you’d be interested in attending are free of charge. Just show the ticket takers your name badges and they’ll let you right in.”
    “Wow. We are getting the red-carpet treatment. I’d better look over which singers are performing. Maybe some of my favorite country bands are here.” Lindy grabbed several schedules from the reception desk and glanced at them as the group hastened down a long hall to a conference room.
    R. C. directed them to each take a seat in one of the maroon leather chairs. “Please make yourselves comfortable. The Hog Queen Contest will take place later this evening after a series of opening ceremony events. At eight p.m., the contestants will be paraded down a length of purple carpet. The name and weight of each contestant will be announced and your duty will be to judge each female on her size, personality, grace, and costume.” He grinned. “Unlike most beauty contests, the more a contestant weighs, the higher her score. But it’s not always the biggest sow that wins. Some of their owners can get quite creative with their costumes.”
    Lucy cleared her throat. “So we have four categories?”
    “And each category should be given a score of one to ten?” James sought clarification as he didn’t want to make any errors on his scorecard.
    R. C. gave an affirmative nod to both questions. “Yes. And I must emphasize an important point. The owners, regardless of their appearance or behavior, are not to be considered in your judgment of the contestants. I’m sorry to say that some have even tried to bribe judges in the past. I know that you five will remain unfazed by such attempts, but I thought I should warn you all the same.”
    “Do some of the owners dress up like their pigs?” Bennett peered at R. C. in disbelief.
    “Indeed, Mr. Marshall.” R. C. reddened slightly. “And some of them barely dress at all.” He coughed slightly in embarrassment. “Allow