Stepbrother With Benefits 16 (Third Season)
sixteen years?  She was my next door neighbor for longer than that, but I don't know if we met before then."
    "Do you even remember when you first met her?" I ask him.  "Seriously, you've probably known her since you were two days old or something.  I don't think anyone will ever accuse you of rushing things with Scarlet, Caleb."
    "Yeah... if you don't make a move soon, uh... you've gotta do it, man," Dave says.  "We've got football rules and everything.  No one will fuck with her if you want.  If you join the team, that is.  That's just us, though.  What about all the other guys out there?"
    "Yeah, I guess so..." Caleb says, mumbling.  "I want to, I just don't know how."
    "You just walk right the fuck up to her," I say.  "Just walk right up and tell her... 'Scarlet, you, me, naked, now.  I'm going to fuck you hard and you're going to love it.  Let's go back to my room.'  It's as easy as that."
    "It's only as easy as that if you're Ethan fucking Colton," Joe says, laughing and rolling his eyes at me.
    "I love it when you use my middle name like that, Joe," I tell him, grinning.  "Keep it up."
    "Yeah, fuck you, too," he says, laughing even more.
    "Is that really your middle name?" Caleb asks me.  "Fucking?"
    That makes everyone laugh.  I don't even know what to say.  I stare at Caleb, trying to say something, but I just can't.  This is two times today that he's left me completely speechless.  Way to go, Caleb.  Way to fucking go.
    "Might as well be with all the girls he's with," Allen says, rolling his eyes at me.
    "Yeah, yeah," I say, shrugging.
    "Well, he's got a girlfriend now, so I don't think he'll be doing that anymore," Caleb says.
    "Wait, what?  Ethan's got a girlfriend?" someone asks.
    I don't even know who, because the question is passed around like some fucking pop song chorus, and then everyone wants to know if it's true.  Who is she?  Is she hot?  Why is that that's question they immediately ask, too?  Is she hot?  Are you guys for real?  Fuck you.
    Also, fuck you, too, Caleb.  I was trying to get us out of here.  I mean, it was mostly for myself, but whatever.  Now we're going to be stuck here for another hour while I field bullshit questions about my recently discovered love life.  I've already fielded bullshit questions about my sex life before, and I don't want to do this right now.
    Because I'm trying to get them to calm the fuck down so I can leave, I take out my phone and show them a picture of me and Ashley together.  Everyone passes it around, then scans through more of my pictures because they're idiots.  Thankfully I hid the picture of Ashley naked, so I don't have to worry about them finding that one.  The rest are basically safe.
    "Holy shit, she's cute," someone says.
    "Yeah," another guy agrees.  "I'd buy her flowers and take her to a nice restaurant."
    "Fuck that," Joe says.  "I'd take her to meet my parents."
    Oh yeah?  I've already done that, guys.  I mean, I guess I technically did that before we were even dating.  How does that work?  Isn't that a serious relationship milestone?  Going to meet the parents?
    I don't know what's after that.  Are we skipping that one, or do we have to do something else?  What the fuck else is there to do?  Fuck.  I need to consult with Ashley on this one.
    I finally get my phone back, and because they're all rambling about my cute girlfriend, I decide to call her.  This is for me, not them.  I called her about an hour ago, but she didn't call me back, and there's no response to my text, so...
    The call goes to her voicemail.  Motherfucker.  Ashley, you're killing me here.  Where the fuck are you?
    "Alright, let's just calm the fuck down about my girlfriend and vote on Caleb joining the team," I say.
    Finally this is easy.  Finally they just vote.  It's unanimous.  There's guys in the locker room, but fuck them.  They left already, so they're voting in favor, too.  If anyone has an issue, they can bring it up

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