Lilly cried.
‘It couldn’t cost all that, could it?’ Gemma’s eyes were enormous.
Star spoke very slowly. ‘If I were to tell you that it
was
for an abortion, would you give it to me?’ she asked her father.
‘No, not like that. We’d need to have adiscussion, look at other possibilities,’ he replied.
‘This isn’t something where you can just write a cheque, there are a lot of things to talk about,’ her mother said. ‘Like whether it would be the right thing to do, which I must say I don’t think it would at all.’
‘
Is
that what you need the money for?’ Kevin asked.
‘Why?’ Star’s voice was cold.
‘Because one way or another it’s very sad that Dad’s great news has ended up in a big crisis discussion about you, as it always does. No matter what happens in this family, it’s always a question of let’s not upset Star.’ His face was red and angry.
It was so like what Laddy had said before he went off in his van. It was so unfair, Star thought. All she had ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. And now everyone was cross with her and saying it was her fault.
CHAPTER EIGHT
W HEN S TAR WENT BACK to work in the supermarket she had great plans of making it all up with Kenny. He had been put in a really bad position and it was all her fault. She had practised over and over what she would say to him. She would ask him home to supper in Chestnut Street. Everything would be all right again.
But she didn’t get a chance to speak to him. Every time she approached him there seemed to be some reason that he had to hurry away. Finally she tugged at his sleeve to get his attention.
‘Shouldn’t you be back at your counter, Star?’ he said, and she saw that his face was very cold.
Star felt as if she had swallowed a lot of iced water. Kenny was avoiding her. Kenny who had said he loved her.
She returned to the pastries and scones with her heart heavy.
*
There was a postcard from Michael when Star got home. It was addressed to the Sullivan family and it said that he was travelling for a bit and would be in touch later when things got clearer. A friend of his was posting this in Poland. It did not mean, of course, that this was where he was.
‘God, that boy is getting harder to understand every day,’ Shay said.
‘I hope he’s all right,’ Molly said, worried.
‘I was going to ask him to be our best man, what do you think he means by later?’ Kevin asked. Kevin thought only of his wedding day the following year, and his upcoming health-food snack bar project.
Nick, who was most definitely Lilly’s boyfriend now, was keen to see the best in things. ‘Looks as if he has everything under control,’ he said vaguely, and Lilly patted his hand.
Only Star said nothing. It was as if she was hardly listening to the conversation. There was a time when she would look from face to face, hoping that everyone was getting on well, trying to head off any trouble before it began. Not any more.
*
That night Star went and read to Miss Mack. But her voice was faltering and she had to stop. Miss Mack said they could sit and listen to music instead. Perhaps Star could put on some Haydn, she said. It would fill up your soul for you. Miss Mack’s eyes were probably closed behind her dark glasses. Star sat twisting a small handkerchief until she eventually tore it into three pieces.
‘Go home, child,’ Miss Mack said. ‘You’re getting no peace from this lovely music, go home and sort it out.’
‘It isn’t all at home to sort out,’ Star said.
‘Well, go wherever it is, Star. I can hear your heart breaking from here,’ said Miss Mack.
‘Laddy, can I come in please?’ she asked.
‘No, Star, you can’t.’
‘I promise it will only take ten minutes.’
‘Not even for ten seconds. Go home.’
But she was into the Hales’ kitchen before Laddy could stop her. She took a seat opposite him as he sat reading the evening paper.
‘Do you know any of Haydn’s music, Laddy?’
‘It couldn’t cost all that, could it?’ Gemma’s eyes were enormous.
Star spoke very slowly. ‘If I were to tell you that it
was
for an abortion, would you give it to me?’ she asked her father.
‘No, not like that. We’d need to have adiscussion, look at other possibilities,’ he replied.
‘This isn’t something where you can just write a cheque, there are a lot of things to talk about,’ her mother said. ‘Like whether it would be the right thing to do, which I must say I don’t think it would at all.’
‘
Is
that what you need the money for?’ Kevin asked.
‘Why?’ Star’s voice was cold.
‘Because one way or another it’s very sad that Dad’s great news has ended up in a big crisis discussion about you, as it always does. No matter what happens in this family, it’s always a question of let’s not upset Star.’ His face was red and angry.
It was so like what Laddy had said before he went off in his van. It was so unfair, Star thought. All she had ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. And now everyone was cross with her and saying it was her fault.
CHAPTER EIGHT
W HEN S TAR WENT BACK to work in the supermarket she had great plans of making it all up with Kenny. He had been put in a really bad position and it was all her fault. She had practised over and over what she would say to him. She would ask him home to supper in Chestnut Street. Everything would be all right again.
But she didn’t get a chance to speak to him. Every time she approached him there seemed to be some reason that he had to hurry away. Finally she tugged at his sleeve to get his attention.
‘Shouldn’t you be back at your counter, Star?’ he said, and she saw that his face was very cold.
Star felt as if she had swallowed a lot of iced water. Kenny was avoiding her. Kenny who had said he loved her.
She returned to the pastries and scones with her heart heavy.
*
There was a postcard from Michael when Star got home. It was addressed to the Sullivan family and it said that he was travelling for a bit and would be in touch later when things got clearer. A friend of his was posting this in Poland. It did not mean, of course, that this was where he was.
‘God, that boy is getting harder to understand every day,’ Shay said.
‘I hope he’s all right,’ Molly said, worried.
‘I was going to ask him to be our best man, what do you think he means by later?’ Kevin asked. Kevin thought only of his wedding day the following year, and his upcoming health-food snack bar project.
Nick, who was most definitely Lilly’s boyfriend now, was keen to see the best in things. ‘Looks as if he has everything under control,’ he said vaguely, and Lilly patted his hand.
Only Star said nothing. It was as if she was hardly listening to the conversation. There was a time when she would look from face to face, hoping that everyone was getting on well, trying to head off any trouble before it began. Not any more.
*
That night Star went and read to Miss Mack. But her voice was faltering and she had to stop. Miss Mack said they could sit and listen to music instead. Perhaps Star could put on some Haydn, she said. It would fill up your soul for you. Miss Mack’s eyes were probably closed behind her dark glasses. Star sat twisting a small handkerchief until she eventually tore it into three pieces.
‘Go home, child,’ Miss Mack said. ‘You’re getting no peace from this lovely music, go home and sort it out.’
‘It isn’t all at home to sort out,’ Star said.
‘Well, go wherever it is, Star. I can hear your heart breaking from here,’ said Miss Mack.
‘Laddy, can I come in please?’ she asked.
‘No, Star, you can’t.’
‘I promise it will only take ten minutes.’
‘Not even for ten seconds. Go home.’
But she was into the Hales’ kitchen before Laddy could stop her. She took a seat opposite him as he sat reading the evening paper.
‘Do you know any of Haydn’s music, Laddy?’
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