Star Kitten
Command” maneuvered several
battle groups throughout the planet to coordinate their attacks on
several key guard posts. He had chosen three. Porkos did the
tunneling; and work gangs gradually moved large boulders or
vehicles into place in a tactical grid pattern in front of the
three main military objectives. Then a replica of this grid design
was constructed at each training camp so that troops could practice
moving and hopping from cover to cover until they reached a mock-up
of a guard station. Soldiers training on these courses were even
pelted with rocks while they moved—to replicate live fire!
    As the time for the assault rapidly
approached, unit commanders were all told of the plan: on the “day”
of attack, a crack unit of Zorg Slingers was to assassinate the
unit commander of each outpost as they went through a shift change
and new guards were arriving from the surface. The goal was to kill
as many of these guards as possible while only a few were still
inside the post.
    The Zorgs were to use deadly slingshots,
which they’d gradually demonstrated a proficiency at using during
training. Their weapons were a simple device that stretched thick
rubber tubes from a metal brace which locked over the wrist of the
warrior and fired a stone projectile the size of a golf ball. The
short but quite virile Zorgs could then pull back the rubber tube
to their throats, relying on their great eyesight to mark their
target. At thirty yards they were relatively accurate in causing
mortal injury if fired at the forehead of a victim; and if even
closer, these Slingers hardly ever missed. Earthers were better at
using Javelins, so they were to move up and occupy forward
positions near the guard station and attempt to impale as many
guards as possible after the Zorgs knocked off the unit
commander.
    These first three objectives Hick’s chose
were guard posts located nearest to elevator shafts leading up to
the main terminal. General Hicks calculated that by securing these
three posts simultaneously, they could assemble assault troops for
the ascent and the final confrontation with security forces
protecting the headquarters of Warden Ggggaaah. His assumption,
though ambitious, was that all remaining guard posts would be
abandoned planet-wide, when Warden Ggggaaah believed his stronghold
was threatened. The entire offensive could then be directed on the
main terminal.
    Thus, using Earth time measurements, the
entire attack on all three guard stations, was coordinated to occur
at 05:00 on the same day. Architeuthis and his Slart planners sent
out the message to the rest of the planet’s gang leaders two weeks
before; allowing Zorg runners to spread the news. When the big day
came, all of “New Australia” braced itself for the repercussions.
They were about to go to war!
    And alas, all the planning, training, and
preparation quickly paid off…!
    “As luck would have it” to use the Earther’s
common parlance—all three stations fell within a few hours of each
other. Frankly, it wasn’t even a fair fight. By burning sulfur
combined with potassium nitrate, Slart scientists had developed a
corrosive incendiary called Vitriol (sulfuric acid) and formed it
into clay vessels which could be hurled and smashed against guard
positions. Zorg Slingers took out the Captains of the guard at each
station with a single salvo of stones; and then hurled these sulfur
bombs at the kill slots located on the outside of each guard post
wall. The burning liquid corroded and burned the eyes and flesh of
the surprised defenders firing from inside them.
    Earthers who had trained at the javelin,
then stood up from behind boulders and fired waves of throwing
spears at the kill slots too; while heavy infantry units made up of
mostly Pumalar warriors moved up to the guard stations behind
mobile steel blocking shields attached to a wheeled chassis. In the
final phase of the outer assault, Earthers using acetylene cutting
torches sliced through the security

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