handrail, I breathe myself back to normal. Then out to the eleventh floor.
It’s more peaceful up here. A woman holding a sprig of flowers wanders past, peering at the room numbers, so I take that as a good sign: visitors allowed. That’s me.
I’m not sure what I’ll find when I reach Alistair; I’m scared of seeing him sick and frail. But mostly I can’t wait to see him. Maybe he’ll even tell me what job he did all these years. I think he kept the secret as part of our joke that we were secret spies; he didn’t want to let reality mess up a good game.
According to the grid, Alistair’s room shares an interconnecting bathroom with the next one along. So when I see the neighbouring door ajar, I peek inside. A skinny woman with frizzy white hair lies motionless in the bed.
Her bathroom door is part way open.
One more glance at the bed, then I bite my lip and go for it, tiptoeing straight for the bathroom and slipping through. I didn’t have to move the door; bet that woman had no idea.
The door leading from here to Alistair’s room is closed. There’s just a disengage button, no need to swipe. This is where I have to be most careful. I pull out the compad to check if anyone’s in the room and listen for voices on the other side of the door, just in case. Nothing.
Lips pushed together, I hit disengage.
Lights flash on machines and scanners around a lone figure in the bed. A quiet intensity fills the air, just the sound of Alistair breathing with the help of an oxygen mask. His head turns my way but he must be lying at a difficult angle to see because he shifts awkwardly.
The door from the hall to his room is closed. Good.
As I step closer, Alistair grabs at his oxygen mask but it’s held on tight with elastic and he fumbles with it.
I lean in and whisper, ‘Alistair, it’s me.’
It’s him, suddenly old. Really old. His skin is even drier than I remember, and sort of sagging as if it’s only just holding itself in place. His eyelids are rimmed red with a crusty sore in one corner.
He manages to pull the oxygen mask down but the top part is still covering his mouth so I don’t catch what he’s saying.
I pull it below his mouth and say, ‘Sorry?’ It’s so good to see him.
‘Scout … you can’t be here. It’s … not safe.’
‘It’s okay.’ I lift my taped wrist. ‘Again.’ As if it’s some sort of joke and not the curse of my life.
‘No.’ With slow effort, he gestures above my head.
At first I don’t get what he’s doing but when he gestures again, I turn and find a CCTV camera in a corner of the ceiling.
‘Yesterday. They … came. When did you come back?’
Heart thumping, I freeze, but that’s pointless. It’s recording, no matter what I do. How did I miss this one when I checked? It must be off-grid.
All I can do is ride the building panic, my skin tingling with the sense of being watched. Maybe they’ll think I’m someone else, that’s the only hope that I have.
‘Listen.’ Alistair gestures again and sort of pulls my hand as if trying to drag me closer. ‘Don’t let them catch you. You’ll have no … citizen rights.’ He’s speaking clearer now. ‘I think they … want to test your brain function … when you time travel.’
He’s managed to grip two of my fingers, his hand papery and cool, and I get this pang at how frail he is. I’ve only just found him. It’s too soon to leave.
‘Understand?’ he breathes.
‘Mum …’ My whisper comes out as a whine. ‘I can’t find her. She’s blocked from the grid.’
Alistair’s hand loosens for a moment and he turns his head as if he has no energy left. He turns back and his hand grips tighter.
‘I didn’t want you to find out on your own …’ His breath catches. ‘I knew you’d look on the grid.’
‘Find out what?’
He blinks. ‘Your mother died, Coutlyn. In the fire. I’m sorry … I wanted to be with you when you …’
All I can do is shake my head, because those words
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