an ancient oak in her rocker. The picture she made, a forlorn, beaten down one, caused the anger in me to fizzle.
How vulnerable she looked.
Yet, a peculiar energy oozed from her.
It sucked up the oxygen and sunshine, leaving only something dark and heavy.
The air grew suddenly thick with portent. I took the chair near her and waited, dreading.
âI canât go on, Mama,â she said quietly, staring into middle space. âI donât want to live. Really, really, donât want to. I need to check out.â
âDonât talk like that, honey,â I murmured, my heart plunging to new depths.
âBesides Maddie, name one thing I have to live for.â Her voice was as dead as her eyes. âHuh? Name one.â She
didnât look at me, only gazed unseeing at a mocking blue sky with whimsical white clouds.
I felt helplessness snake its way through me.
Hurry, Priss . The thought flew through my mind like startled bats. I knew that her Aunt Priss always had the right words to soothe Faith.
So, today, after yet another crisis and SOS to Auntie Priss, I looked at Faith sitting morosely there in that rocking chair, crying out for help. Thinking suicide. My weary heart floundered, struggling to respond. Trying to form the right words to comfort and not stir the terrible anger.
The despair. Because, in the end, Faith would do what she darn well pleased. That realization always caused my heart to freeze with dismay. Faithâs will was self-propelled with her own unique brand of force, one that overrode anything and everyone who attempted to shape or alter her persuasion
I was exhausted from the previous nightâs sleeplessness, when Dan and I had words and heâd slept upstairs in the guest room. Again. Over Faith.
Always over Faith.
Prissâ car pulled up, scattering my thoughts, and she climbed out, her soft fine wedgy cut, silver-streaked dark hair glistening in the sun, a cheerful smile on her pretty face. My sis is pleasingly fluffy and happy with herself that way.
Oh, she occasionally gives it a shot â weight loss â but ultimately, life and food flaunt their festivity and she gives dieting a sabbatical. She chooses clothes for comfort rather than to make a fashion statement. Her flip-flops free her feet to breathe in cool air and move unencumbered.
Lord knows, I try to be casual about such things but just canât divorce myself from the bathroom scales and full-length mirror and fashion detail. My chestnut, wheat-streaked hair remains fashionably cut and styled, one of my rare indulgences. I constantly monitor and adjust my appetite and weight while Priss sails contentedly through life experiencing all the epicurean delights her heart desires and chooses loose, comfy garb.
Her favorite quote is âI keep trying to lose weight, but it still finds me.â
Thing is, sheâs not an unhealthy size. âBig-boned genes,â she quips. âFrom God only knows who .â She pulls humor from every source, even her adoption status.
Priss knows how to enjoy life. And she helps me, by taking Faith home with her, to regroup and to once more see the good and the salvageable in my daughter. In life.
âHi, Priss.â I stood and hugged her as she joined us.
Our tiny, fluffy rust-brown Pomeranian, Poopsie, did her little celebratory spin round and round and proceeded to bark with excitement as Priss reached to ruffle her fur then lift her into her arms for a smooch.
Yeah, Poopsie was named after her less than desirable leanings when we were trying to housebreak her. But the name stuck.
My little caricature Poopsie doesnât smooch me because I wear lipstick. At least, I tell myself thatâs the reason. Secretly, I fear she detects something about me that I donât. You know how dogs can sometimes sniff and sense health issues and I find myself fearing â
Nah.
Probably, she just doesnât feel that way about me, you know?
Poopsie loves
James McLevy
Ellen Wilson
Orson Scott Card
Leslie Carroll
Shona Husk
Evan Ronan
Lois Lowry
Lynn Hubbard
Barbara Boswell
Sara Marion