remembered the old teacher telling him that although Orkid's years in Kendra had not blunted his love for Aman, they had given him time to learn to love its rulers. He had not denied it then, and would not deny it now. He would do almost anything to be able to express his feelings to Areava in the hope—the desperate hope—that she might return them. That was the problem with Marin's suggestion. Areava regarded Orkid as a friend, a trusted advisor, her mother's contemporary and confidant, and not as a potential lover. He was honest to himself about that much, at least.
Could he turn her around, make her fall in love with him? It was a question he had been secretly asking himself for several years, ever since Areava had first blossomed into womanhood. At the time he wondered if his response to her had been nothing more than a reflection of his love for her mother, the unattainable Usharna, but as Areava continued to grow and develop so had his feelings towards her. He had been ashamed of those feelings when she married his nephew, Sendarus, and now that shame had turned to guilt because Sendarus's death had given him the chance with Areava he so desperately wanted. And now he had Marin's sanction as well.
He realised that in a terrible way he did not want this chance, did not want to pursue the matter to the point where the queen might spurn him. He had never been afraid of the assassin's knife, but he was afraid of Areava's rejection. But now a combination of desire and duty urged him on, and he knew that even if he could resist desire, he had never in his life been able to resist duty.
Constable Dejanus finished the evening rounds of the palace. He stood in the great courtyard watching a single window high in the east wing. He could see the silhouette of a dark figure through the glass, fluttering with the candlelight.
One arrow would do it , he said to himself. Straight through the window and into the bastard's black heart .
The thought sent a delicious thrill down his spine. To be rid of Chancellor Orkid Gravespear once and for all! It was his greatest wish.
His hands on his hips, Dejanus circled where he stood. He was a power here, a power in the greatest palace on Theare, maybe even in the world. His chest swelled with the thought of it. I have no need to be afraid of anything. And then, as it always did, the familiar voice in his head said, Except Orkid .
The puff went out of him, and his gaze returned to that window. As he watched, the light went out and the wavering shadow of the chancellor disappeared. 'If only it was that easy,' Dejanus said aloud, then looked around to make sure no one had heard him. The courtyard was deserted. It was very dark, and he suddenly felt exposed. He hurried to his own quarters. The guard on duty snapped to attention as he passed, and that rejuvenated some of his confidence. He settled in his bed with a flask of good wine, and in his mind played out the many ways he could kill Orkid. Maybe an arrow, he thought. Hire an archer with some grudge against the chancellor.
And the voice said, Or if you were brave enough you could simply use your own knife . Dejanus could find no answer to that voice. He never had.
He finished the flask and fell asleep dreaming of the day, the one blessed day, when he would be brave enough.
Galen led his knights in double file through the newly restored gates of Daavis. A cheering crowd lined the main avenue leading to the palace, and Galen noticed the surprised and gratified looks on the young Kendran knights he led. If nothing else, this campaign had taught them that there was more to the Kingdom of Grenda Lear than the city of Kendra, and more to concern it than the petty goings-on of the nobility.
At least it finally taught me that , he admitted to himself, and felt proud of the fact he was young and smart enough to adapt. Areava and her mother had been right all along. The provinces needed to be—deserved to be!—brought into the
Could he turn her around, make her fall in love with him? It was a question he had been secretly asking himself for several years, ever since Areava had first blossomed into womanhood. At the time he wondered if his response to her had been nothing more than a reflection of his love for her mother, the unattainable Usharna, but as Areava continued to grow and develop so had his feelings towards her. He had been ashamed of those feelings when she married his nephew, Sendarus, and now that shame had turned to guilt because Sendarus's death had given him the chance with Areava he so desperately wanted. And now he had Marin's sanction as well.
He realised that in a terrible way he did not want this chance, did not want to pursue the matter to the point where the queen might spurn him. He had never been afraid of the assassin's knife, but he was afraid of Areava's rejection. But now a combination of desire and duty urged him on, and he knew that even if he could resist desire, he had never in his life been able to resist duty.
Constable Dejanus finished the evening rounds of the palace. He stood in the great courtyard watching a single window high in the east wing. He could see the silhouette of a dark figure through the glass, fluttering with the candlelight.
One arrow would do it , he said to himself. Straight through the window and into the bastard's black heart .
The thought sent a delicious thrill down his spine. To be rid of Chancellor Orkid Gravespear once and for all! It was his greatest wish.
His hands on his hips, Dejanus circled where he stood. He was a power here, a power in the greatest palace on Theare, maybe even in the world. His chest swelled with the thought of it. I have no need to be afraid of anything. And then, as it always did, the familiar voice in his head said, Except Orkid .
The puff went out of him, and his gaze returned to that window. As he watched, the light went out and the wavering shadow of the chancellor disappeared. 'If only it was that easy,' Dejanus said aloud, then looked around to make sure no one had heard him. The courtyard was deserted. It was very dark, and he suddenly felt exposed. He hurried to his own quarters. The guard on duty snapped to attention as he passed, and that rejuvenated some of his confidence. He settled in his bed with a flask of good wine, and in his mind played out the many ways he could kill Orkid. Maybe an arrow, he thought. Hire an archer with some grudge against the chancellor.
And the voice said, Or if you were brave enough you could simply use your own knife . Dejanus could find no answer to that voice. He never had.
He finished the flask and fell asleep dreaming of the day, the one blessed day, when he would be brave enough.
Galen led his knights in double file through the newly restored gates of Daavis. A cheering crowd lined the main avenue leading to the palace, and Galen noticed the surprised and gratified looks on the young Kendran knights he led. If nothing else, this campaign had taught them that there was more to the Kingdom of Grenda Lear than the city of Kendra, and more to concern it than the petty goings-on of the nobility.
At least it finally taught me that , he admitted to himself, and felt proud of the fact he was young and smart enough to adapt. Areava and her mother had been right all along. The provinces needed to be—deserved to be!—brought into the
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